Hi. I have a solicitors appointment today but wanted some advice to go alongside that.
I separated from my ex 8 years ago due to DV, which was reported but not pursued so no convictions. Child contact arrangements were agreed out of court via solicitors letters although in the last 5 years he has reduced contact to once a month. He doesn't attend school meetings or any appointments for the kids for their SEN. He has also been inconsistent with paying maintenance.
I recently had concerns about his ability to meet the DCs SEN needs during contact and after a particular disclosure have sought advice from my local safegaurdiing team. I have received a solicitors letter in which exP is pushing for more contact on the grounds that he is concerned about how behind they are at school and that their attainment demonstrates that they need more support.
In the letter the solicitor accuses me of "unilaterally" making decisions about the DC in terms of seeking diagnoses for SEN and asks for details of all diagnoses and prognosis. ExP has been informed of all referrals and diagnoses as we have received them and so I was under the impression that support measures were in place while DC were in his care, specifically safeguarding measures to manage DDs safety around pica following incidences of her swallowing metal and other dangerous substances.
Taking this into account and adding it to the concerns I'd already raised I have spoken again with safeguarding who advised me not to allow unsupervised contact which I'm more than happy to do.
I've drafter a reply letter which I'm going to get a solicitor to look at today but wanted some input here about what exPs next steps might be, how successful he might be if this were to go to court etc.
I have listed full diagnosis in the letter and am attaching all reports to date. I have stated the safeguarding concerns and the advice I've received and have said that contact will need to be supervised with no overnights. I've said that I was keen to work towards unsupervised again and to that end would like exP to attend a parenting course or workshop for parents of DC with SEN and put in place provisions to support DDs needs. I've also stated that we can do video calls in the meantime and that we will continually review contact arrangements to make sure they are appropriate (ie this isn't forever just until he's able to meet their needs).
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.