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Original poster

Separation non married can he demand half of everything?

133 replies

Joanne2015 · 15/09/2021 17:00

Non married with 3 kids. My family paid £240k to the house, it’s now worth 290k over past 6 years. I was gifted £50k to pay deposit and I paid 15 of my own, he paid 10k. They then paid the mortgage company directly the remaining amount 3 years later. We are spreading and he says to sell the house and split it 50/50. I don’t want to do that as it means moving the kids out the house my family wanted for them. It’s a great and safe area, they have friends and school here. I am trying to find a way to buy him out but the max I can go to is 120k. He won’t accept that saying I’m forcing him to move back to England as he only earns 1380 a month. I’ve tried to say that to walk away with £120k after 6 years is more than most folk and if it means his kids get to stay in their family home then he’s being selfish.. he keeps saying he can’t see me stay here and be with another man.(not even on the card btw) but it’s all about him and he is literally taking me to the cleaners for the sake of 20/30k. I will now need to take 100k mortgage on just to give him this figure for the next 33 years. I’m so upset and angry now as I can’t believe he is so entitled to the house my family provided. Emotions running high right now but will I at least be able to make sure I get the 65k deposit back before the house is split 50/50? Anyone can offer any reassurance?

OP posts:
Original poster
Joanne2015 · 15/09/2021 17:14

Yes he’s on the deeds at a joint owner

OP posts:
Original poster
Joanne2015 · 15/09/2021 17:14

Joint tenants

OP posts:
gamerchick · 15/09/2021 17:14

You need to see a solicitor. Stop flapping until you know the score.

dementedpixie · 15/09/2021 17:16

Cut the amount in half then and only transfer £600 to the joint account. Why are you transferring the full amount in the first place?

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 15/09/2021 17:16

If you are joint tenants, then he owns 50% of the property and you will have to give him 50% of the current equity to buy him out. I'm afraid that is the legal status and the consequences of not buying as tenants in common, given that you are not married, or legally ringfencing those original deposits when you bought.

thecognoscenti · 15/09/2021 17:17

@PragmaticWench

You need to be clear if you bought as Tenants In Common or as Joint Tenants. Did your solicitor ring fence your much larger deposit? Who is on the mortgage and who has paid towards it?

Without that information nobody can really help you.

The joint tenancy/tenancy in common point is only really relevant if a joint owner dies. The fact that they are both on the title and there's been no reference to a declaration of trust suggests that the default position of a 50/50 split applies unless it can be clearly demonstrated that the OP is entitled to more.
dementedpixie · 15/09/2021 17:17

See a solicitor.
Get all your proof of who paid what
You've been very naive to not protect the large amounts your family have paid to your mortgage

thecognoscenti · 15/09/2021 17:17

And yes, see a solicitor ASAP.

Original poster
Joanne2015 · 15/09/2021 17:17

I there wasn’t anything ringfenconv the mortgage contributions other than I letter from my family at the time of purchase stating the 50k was a gift to me.. it was deposited in my personal account and then to lawyer

OP posts:
Original poster
Joanne2015 · 15/09/2021 17:19

It’s just always been set up that way as any left overs were to be saved.

OP posts:
TheFormidableMrsC · 15/09/2021 17:22

If he is on the mortgage he is entitled to 50% of the equity, regardless of who paid the mortgage. He has no claim on your savings. If you have children, he must pay maintenance for them. That's it really.

TreeTed · 15/09/2021 17:22

Stop transferring any money bro the joint account from today. He gets none of your savings and see a solicitor pronto. If your family are sending you money each month then they’ll want to pay for a solicitor to keep that for you.
Sounds like he only ever saw you and your family as a cash cow

BuffySummersReportingforSanity · 15/09/2021 17:25

@Joanne2015

I there wasn’t anything ringfenconv the mortgage contributions other than I letter from my family at the time of purchase stating the 50k was a gift to me.. it was deposited in my personal account and then to lawyer
That's pretty straightforward then. He owns 50% of the house and 50% of any money currently in a joint account.

I'm sorry that you have to pay him, but legally that is the situation and you can't change it now.

WindowsSmindows · 15/09/2021 17:28

You have plenty of money for legal advice.
Get off the internet and into a solicitors office.

Zilla1 · 15/09/2021 17:34

The advice will depend on your jurisdiction, OP. I'd engage a solicitor/lawyer/advocate to ensure you maximise your position according to the law in your jurisdiction (Scotland?) but in principle, if you're not married then perhaps your best negotiating position might be to remind him that that your parents' contribution was ring fenced as an investment so everyone, including your parents gets their initial investment back plus a share of the uplift to the current market price based on an independent valuation in proportion to their capital contribution. So if he paid £10k then he gets his £10k plus a small fraction of the £25k/£50k? increase but be an affordable starting point for negotiations. If not then an expensive court case for him that will take a long time which he might not like if he wants a fresh start. Make it financially easier for him to take an affordable pay off and for you to stay in the house. His feelings about you staying in the house might be indicative about how hard he'll fight but nothing more than that.

Good luck.

SafeguardingWhenSeekingHelp · 15/09/2021 17:35

What a cheek, trying to drive his children out of their home paid for almost entirely by your family. I don't know how you can bare to look at him, the pathetic little wanker Sad

Original poster
Joanne2015 · 15/09/2021 17:35

Yeah I’m seeing one on Friday thanks. 😊 just distraught right now after a huge argument

OP posts:
Anothermothernamegame · 15/09/2021 17:39

Totally missing the point here but wow, I cannot believe some families give their children a house and 1300 a month spends! Insanity!!!

hithere5677 · 15/09/2021 17:46

@Anothermothernamegame

Totally missing the point here but wow, I cannot believe some families give their children a house and 1300 a month spends! Insanity!!!
Not really if they have the money? Jealous much?
JenniferAllisonPhillipaSue · 15/09/2021 17:46

I am amazed that your family provided funds of that size to pay off the mortgage, without suggesting that you need to legally secure a specific percentage of ownership of the house. I wonder what they now think of you splitting up ...

Anothermothernamegame · 15/09/2021 17:49

Jealous much?

No, genuinely just agog! There are children literally starving in this country.

Viviennemary · 15/09/2021 17:50

If the house is in joint names then I think he is entitled by law to half. Unless your family ring fenced the money they put towards it. AFAIK.

Original poster
Joanne2015 · 15/09/2021 17:53

I agree and I’m eternally grateful for the privilege

OP posts:
Original poster
Joanne2015 · 15/09/2021 17:54

I guess it would have caused a disagreement at the time to then 3 years on say sign a pre nup. I don’t know the reasons why it wasn’t, it wasn’t discussed: they are sad and upset but understand my reasons for wanting a separation

OP posts:
ProseccoThyme · 15/09/2021 17:55

Are you in Scotland OP?