When I pass, how can I ensure everything goes to my children and not my husband?

[flumpsss]

The children are mine and my husbands children.

Husband and I keep finances separate and it works for us. The house we live in was purchased post marriage, in cash by me and is in my name. I know that doesn't make it solely mine. I also have a vast amount of money, investments and assets. My husband is nowhere close to having this kind of net worth. I pay for vast majority of things such as school fees, holidays etc.

My hope would be that in the event I should pass, everything I have would go to my children. My husband could continue to live in the house but it is ultimately theirs. I will also leave one bank account (amongst many) with a vast amount of money which is solely for him to ensure he will never struggle in any way and can continue to have a very high standard of living.

I know it sounds crazy but I have a perhaps somewhat irrational fear that if I should pass, my husband might take everything and not give it all or at all to my children. Perhaps because the sum is so big he might give some of it to his extended family? Maybe he would sell the house and downsize and fritter the remainder or give it to people? I don't know but all I know is I want to prevent that from ever being a possibility. I feel a discussion with him about this is pointless as when I'm gone he could go against what we've discussed and I know that money changes people. Can I just put this in a will or does it automatically go to my husband? Do I need to set up trusts? Should the house go in my children's name now (concerning as even though they are so young, when 18 they could maybe kick me out)? Could anyone advise?

It can be a very difficult area. We have friends who divorced after 25 years and then both remarried.

The husband's new wife is lovely, but he has rewritten his will leaving everything to her including his million-pound pension fund. His adult children get a small % and then nothing. His new wife is younger and fitter and has children and grandchildren. The likelihood is he will die first, and so her children, not his, will inherit his pension pot.

You need proper financial advise to deal with your vast wealth and assets

I think tbh if I was married to someone who didn't even trust me enough to leave our house to me upon their death Id leave. I think its fair enough to pass some of the vast wealth onto your children straight away but to not even leave his house to him?

Absolute worst case scenario you've paid for a private education, so even if your DC ended up with nothing its not really leaving them in poverty. Its just they are having to make their own way in the world like the majority of people.

Also I do think you have to be cautious. I think knowing you've got a big inheritance coming your way can really affect people. I've known just as many greedy children as greedy spouses

@DIshedUp

You need proper financial advise to deal with your vast wealth and assets

I think tbh if I was married to someone who didn't even trust me enough to leave our house to me upon their death Id leave. I think its fair enough to pass some of the vast wealth onto your children straight away but to not even leave his house to him?

Absolute worst case scenario you've paid for a private education, so even if your DC ended up with nothing its not really leaving them in poverty. Its just they are having to make their own way in the world like the majority of people.

As I said above, this isn't really about trust (or at least, not just about trust).

If your husband dies leaving everything to you, you remarry and you then die without making a new will, most of it would go to your new husband. Your children would end up with at best a small part of your estate, at worst nothing at all. If your husband had children from a previous marriage, they would end up with nothing. On the other hand, if your husband gives you a life interest in his part of the marital home, your children and his children are protected whatever happens.

So long as you make things clear in a properly written will, you can do this with no trouble. You should (as you intend) leave some specified amount to your spouse, because if you were to leave them out entirely then it would be possible for them to challenge the Will. It's entirely reasonable for this to be a modest amount. It is entirely reasonable not to leave larger amounts to your spouse - if you did that on the assumption that they could be trusted to ensure your kids were ok, and then they got re-married, that could disinherit your children entirely - this has happened regularly and it is important to guard against it.

Sounds prudent to me to be sorting it now so your kids don’t end up in a jarndyce v jarndyce situation where only the lawyers benefit. And tell everyone what you are doing too.
I don’t have vast wealth but do have limited “normal” assets that I would prefer go to my kids rather than some other woman’s kids. Men often do remarry when made widows.

You sound vastly delusional.

Certainly you can leave the house to your children with a life interest for your husband. However your husband can challenge the will under the inheritance act for reasonable financial provision, so you can't leave everything to your children if he is retiring soon and has an inadequate pension. A solicitor for him would look at all the financial implications. He may also ask for a share in your house as he has paid into its fabric over the course of a long marriage. Our solicitor in a similar situation, said the starting point is if you had divorced, (divorce fiction) he would have a 50% share to him and the remainder in trust for your children. He could then leave that 50% away from your children, so it is vital you see a solicitor who can look at everything

So it's not as simple as it looks and there are many factors at play.
It is best you and he make wills which are mutually satisfactory and gives you what you want, securing his future and that if your children.