divorcesettlement advice

[suethepoo]

I'm a divorcing single mum. i won't bore you all with the background of my marriage but let's say it was controlling to say the least, with a lot of financial control.

i have my fdr coming up and with a lot of financial help from my parents am able to get good counsel. my husband has lied a lot in his disclosure but i simply do not have the funds to unpick all the lies. the way it stands at the moment is 300k equity in the fmh, with a mortgage of 600k remaining. he also owns 2 properties totalling another 300k equity. he earns 14k per month net.

im favouring a mesha order in which he pays the mortgage and we spilt 50\50 in 17 years. ill be 55. this will be based on him paying the mortgage of 2 k per month. I'd also like 2k per month child benefit and 1k spousal. is this reasonable?

how long do i get spousal maintenance for? i work 2 days a week at the moment and earn 1k per month. my baby a 1. any advice would be welcome. thank you

I doubt you'll get spousal and him paying the mortgage. Is he self employed? If he is I'd go for more assets in lieu of spousal as you may well find he cooks the books so it doesn't look as though he earns so much.

I hope you have a solicitor. You should be getting advice from them rather than random strangers on the internet. Anyone who offers an opinion based on the information you have posted would be guessing. Your solicitor is in full possession of the facts so is much better placed to advise.

Mesher orders are for when selling the family home would be a barrier. With £600k equity, £15k a month income there isn't likely to be a mesher order. We have no idea on length of the relationship and you have a 1 year old baby so it could be a very short marriage.

You both need a 2 bed place, he'll need to support you until you can earn a reasonable income. But there are a lot of assets, speak to a solicitor, but stop reading the internet for what you think you are entitled to

I agree that people who post here on the basis of incomplete information should not be relied on.

My observations are:

£14k a month is definitely spouse maintenance territory.

If half the assets are tied up in the house you won’t need a Mesher order to stay there, but convincing the court to keep him tied to a £600k mortgage might be the problem. I don’t know enough about your case though. Speak to your barrister.

I m sure the OP will speak to the solicitor that her parents have shelled out loads of money for. Shes just wanting some other feedback of what other people gave had happen.

i also have 2 rescue dogs and an au pair. together 11 years married 3.

@RedHelenB “ Shes just wanting some other feedback of what other people gave had happen.

You must be reading a different thread. She asked whether what she was asking for was reasonable, and how long she would get spouse maintenance for. That’s not asking for the experience of others.

i guess im asking from people with experience. i know its not professional advice but every time my solicitor farts he charges me for it.

Speak to your solicitor as they'll know the whole picture. But thats a very short marriage in divorce terms and the Courts will often look for a clean break in those circumstances (other than child maintenance) so unlikely to tie him to a mortgage for 17 years.

You have to be reasonable on housing and I can't see justification for a 900k house for yourself and 1 child. Dogs or au pair will not be a high consideration.

What would realistic housing cost be for a 2 or 3 bedroom? A judge will highlight that your lifestyle will change and your marriage is deemed as short.
You will need to increase your working hours and spousal maintenance is likely to be around 3 years, which probadly co-incides with your child starting school. Assume you will be full time by then and supporting yourself.

Are you expecting private education? Are their pensions?

I assume he has made an offer? What was this for?

the problem with the clean break is the lack of equity. he would be happy to put me the dogs and baby in a dingy 2 bed flat while he keeps his 2 bed river view penthose near the Thames.

If they co-habited for 11 years directly prior to marriage those years will be taken into account so it's not a very short marriage.

Court ordered child and spousal support can be taken back to court after a year so difficult to rely on.

Probably better to pay for a forensic accountant now and walk away with as much cash in the bank as possible rather than rely on high maintenance. You need a shit hot lawyer.

Sorry OP, I can't see you being left in the house, or getting spousal after a 3 year marriage. Or maintaining an au pair if you only work 1 day. If you were working FT and needed childcare it would be different.

How much is a nice 3 bed normal house in your area?

Him paying the mortgage plus 3k a month is not realistic.

Would you not be better off with a clean break? Surely it would be better to have a 3 bed semi outright. Not a dingy flat, but a normal small house.

he made an offer. 1k per month maintenance, me in a 2 bed worth 400k but with 1.5k per month mortgage. only 150k equity.

3 bed semi about 600k in my area. i have sole child custody after an attempted abduction to America.

Yours is a very unusual situation you really need specialist advice. Is he from the US? Could he just relocate there leaving You financially high and dry?

I would be forcing sale of all the properties to get lump sum, not forgetting a share of his pension pot.

yes he is from US he works there too. if i went bk to work full time I'd bring home 2k per month but 1k would go on child care. he would be earning 14k still. its a very difficult situation

So you need a clean break, he may never actually pay that support!

yeap but very challenged in terms of available equity. i think he loves his child but loves money and power more.

It’s not a ‘short’ marriage as time counts from when you first lived together as long as there are no breaks.

You are unlikely to get a mesher order as there is enough equity to house you both. Also a mesher order doesn’t mean he has to pay his half of the mortgage. It just means you’re entitled not to sell. If he’s paying the mortgage that would come under spousal maintenance.

I learnt all the above from my solicitor in a 2 hour meeting. Have you not had one where you go through everything with them?

Tough he'll have to sell the properties...

You need to pay for a forensic accountant there could be more funds hidden!

i have a legal conference coming up. he's also lied about the chronology of our relationship. hes a compulsive liar but its so expensive to unpick them all. i think will end up a final hearing sadly.

Op, you're expecting far too much. He's going to move back home and leave you with bugger all. I hope the house is in joint names!

yes joint names for fmh

what about him paying an interest only mortgage on a new cheaper properly for us. say around 600 a month plus maintenance. i get the equity of the fmh to put towards it and he keeps his flats?