Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Social services decisions

90 replies

user1485708720 · 09/06/2019 00:19

Can social services decisions be challenged?
I have recently had a decision made by my social worker meaning my partner can not see my children. Ex bad tried to block him and has started brain washing our kids against me and my partner. We've been told twice by SS that partner can set the

OP posts:

ChequerBoard · 12/06/2019 17:49

0mlas I wondered exactly the same.

OP, If you are the poster that was wanting raise a complaint against SS because of the length of time taken to review your 'DP' background (and in the meantime he was not allowed contact with your DC) then I suggest you go back to your care team because you really are not thinking this through at all clearly.

Shequakes · 12/06/2019 17:55

ChequerBoard I suspect it is. And on that thread it was clear this man is the priority.

It's so very sad for the children.

Frouby · 12/06/2019 17:59

You need to make some choices OP. If you are the poster I am thinking of, I think your dcs father has them mon to fri while you get help for your own MH issues and you see them at the weekend.

You can recover from your own issues, begin your life again and see your boyfriend mon to fri, and see your dcs at the weekend.

Or you can work to get your dcs back, have them mon to fri, let their dad have them weekends and see your boyfriend then.

If you ignore SS you will lose those dcs and end up seeing them a few hours a week in a contact centre.

SS won't sign off a convicted sex offender with MH issues on permanent licence to be involved with a woman with children. You need to make some serious choices.

Shequakes · 12/06/2019 18:09

If is that poster, she either got lots of support on that thread by not disclosing his crime to posters. That fact would have changed the advice massively.

Or she didnt know. So he hasnt even been honest. Even when she found that out, it didn't change her mind about him. She still wants him around the kids.

If it is the same poster, then its clear she cant make good decisions when it comes to her kids and I doubt she will have full care of them for long.

starlamp · 12/06/2019 20:06

Going to be blunt here but how much of a desperate and selfish person can you be to choose a sex offender as a boyfriend!
Then if that isn't enough, you want him around your children!
Hopefully social services get these children removed from your care and place them with their father or a loving family who can actually care for them and protect them!

I actually don't know what goes through women like yours heads!
Too often now the news reports tragic stories of very similar circumstances that haven't ended well.

Shequakes · 12/06/2019 20:44

Or you can work to get your dcs back, have them mon to fri, let their dad have them weekends and see your boyfriend then.

I doubt this would be enough for SS. If OP can not see that someone who committed a very serious sexual assault is a danger to her, then she isnt making good decisions.

Not ideal quality in the main resident parent.

ChewbaccaHutchinsCool · 12/06/2019 21:06

And actually, you are wrong, some offenders are not legally allowed a family life as they are a danger to children in particular. So sprogging up with him will mean the child is removed at birth, too.

Pacificallythespecific · 12/06/2019 21:10

I thought this was going to be the poster who’s only allowed to see her kids at the contact centre and moans that she can’t have them around her new partner.

Compared to you she’s a fucking saint, come back contact centre OP, all is forgiven

ASauvignonADay · 12/06/2019 21:21

This is bonkers!

You need to prioritise your kids.

Chocolate50 · 15/06/2019 09:13

Its hard to tell from your posts the exact problem that SS have BUT as an ex SW I would say that sometimes stupid decisions are made I agree but I would advise you to go along with it - DON'T get into a head to head unless you have legal support - I would write to them saying that you agree to their recomnendations regarding (name your partner) not being part of the family for now & ask them what he can do to reassure them about his safety around them. I would also seek some legal advice as it seems that what they are saying is based on historical information and what your ex is saying. Try to show that you are both willing to work with them. Ask for a meeting to clarify the situation and how you can improve it for your children. If they don't agree to meet or make recommendations so that your new partner can be around the children and you still feel strongly that your new partner is being treated unfairly then you will need advice from a solicitor- maybe his probation officer can get involved by writing a letter to say that he is no longer a risk & stating the reasons why ( he may have worked hard personally with other professionals & the SS aren't aware of this for example).

There are lots of people who have contact with children that have criminal records & MH issues - maybe his GP could support the family by saying that the mh issues are well managed?

Chocolate50 · 15/06/2019 09:34

OP I would also ask yourself whether this man is really worth it & whether you need the extra stress. I get that you want to spend time with him and that you think that he's safe but read up on men who have history - they can sometimes target vulnerable people and you may be vulnerable yourself - ask yourself is he able to look after you when you need to be? If you can't say 100% for sure then be brave & move on. Because if he can't look after you then he won't be able to do so for your children. I don't think anyone on here wants to see you make a huge mistake...

LIZS · 15/06/2019 09:44

I think the mere fact that you are investing time and energy into this is itself a huge concern to Ss and other professionals involved. Your time spent with dc is limited and your support mechanisms not secure. Please focus on getting well, your relationships with your dc and creating a stable home environment for your family. This man is a big unnecessary distraction and you are vulnerable. He has a past on which he can put spin whatever he chooses and ongoing issues himself. Listen to those who are less personally involved.

Verily1 · 15/06/2019 09:52

It’s him or the kids- your choice.

Omzlas · 15/06/2019 21:27

I see the OP hasn't been back. I'm shocked

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 15/06/2019 21:41

This is scary. I hope beyond hope you're not the posted having inpatient treatment at the moment.

Your partner has not been rehabilitated or paid off his debt to society or whatever if he has a life licence. It doesn't work like that. He is dangerous- to you and to the DC.

Flip

1 2 3 4