Social services decisions

[user1485708720]

Can social services decisions be challenged?
I have recently had a decision made by my social worker meaning my partner can not see my children. Ex bad tried to block him and has started brain washing our kids against me and my partner. We've been told twice by SS that partner can set the

So this man committed a sexual crime so serious that he received a life sentence (which is rare for rape so there must have been aggravating factors), and has had significant mental health issues, but your first thought is how you can challenge social services decisions.

I think if you try to challenge their decision, they will question your ability to be protective.

This is either a wind up or you deserve to have your children removed from your care.

Is this a joke? If my ex started dating a sex offender who committed such a bad crime they were on license for life I would go apeshit!! Good on SS and good on your ex for standing up to this.

You have young kids
And you’ve picked a sex offender to be your partner?

I wish all of the luck to the father who seems to be the only one of their parents who is putting their needs first. I hope he gets full parental responsibility and the OP is only allowed supervised contact (without the criminal boyfriend).

Wow op I'm another one shocked that you are posting this.

To put it bluntly- he is a dangerous man. One you have actively chose to bring into your innocent children's lives despite knowing what you know.

You may be a good mother, i don't doubt that in the slightest but I do judge you for making such a shitty decision which could ultimately mark your children as being in danger and that's the best case scenario.

The worst case scenario doesn't even bear thinking about.
Your head needs a serious wobble.

There are multiple issues at play here and you are out of your depth massively. I hope you and your children don't pay the price for what I would call your naivety or possibly stupidity

What the actual fuck?

I know someone who is in prison for rape. It's someone in my exs family.

He raped twice and filmed it. He was deemed a danger women. He was sentenced to 10 years. When he comes out he will, I believe, always have a probation officer.

He is a danger to women. That's why he will always have to report to a probation officer. And he has been told he will never allowed to be around kids. Despite his crime being against an adult.

They dont give sentences out like that all the time. I very much doubt that SS arent that fussed about his criminal record.

And you dont have a personality disorder then not have it and all of a sudden not meet the criteria.

Either he was misdiagnosed, so that's not the reason he committed the crime or he is managing it, currently. Currently being the operative word. That doesnt mean he will always manage it well and wont relapse.

SS are concerned, because when it comes to this man you clearly arent thinking straight.

My dp has a criminal record. My kids dad social services who made one visit. Dps crime was to drive without a license at age 18. So over 20 years ago. His father was a prolific criminal and abused him and used to threaten to beat him or his sisters if he didnt do stuff like steal a car, drive to the shop for booze for him etc

After that dp moved away, the sisters were rehomed and non contacted their dad again. Dp has never been in trouble since.

Ex also misinformed SS that DP lived with me.

SS werent in the slightest bit interested and closed the file straight away.

SS clearly have lots of reasons to be concerned about your boyfriend. And they are right to be.

I've never said this in all my years on MN, but you are not a good parent. You are the opposite. Knowingly having a sex offender in the lives of your children is the absolute epitome of terrible parenting. It's shocking. The fact that you think it's ok shows that at best you are completely lacking in judgement. If anything ever happens to your children as a result of this, it will be 💯 your fault. You are selfish and put the needs of your children below your own. He's not someone who burgled a few houses or stole a car, he's a serious sex offender. Have a fucking word with yourself.

OP, I'm afraid with your attitude towards this man you are going to lose your children eventually. And please don't even think about getting pregnant with him, because that baby will also be removed.
This WILL happen.

I would imagine your children will be removed if you continue with this man. It happened to my neighbour.

I hope ss are getting legal advice as we speak someone needs to protect your kids. I'm glad your ex has raised this and he will be advised to use his PR and gain custody of your children who you are failing to safeguard.

OP, open your eyes.

He’s spinning you lies and you’re putting your children at risk of serious harm if you continue to believe him and prioritise him over your children.

Op your kids dad is probably terrified something will happen to his kids because of this man, of course he wants them out of their lives.

I know you won't listen but please reconsider your relationship. Even if there is a tiny possibility he could hurt them, do you want to risk it?

OP, you are risking losing your children here. They will be putting your children first and any risk to them is too much. They will decide you are not capable of putting your children's needs first. I doubt any judge is going to overrule them given the personality disorder and life long sentence. Surely no man is worth your children being removed?

Is he actually worth this? You need to prioritise your children here.

@user1485708720

You need to put your children first and end the relationship. Even if you truly believe he is no risk to you or your kids Social Services obviously think he is.

I work in Children's Services and have seen children removed from their mothers care due to them being unable to prioritise their children over a toxic relationship/drink/drugs etc.

If SS have serious concerns and find out you are allowing contact they may decide to use an emergency protection order to remove your children.

OP, unfortunately SS has decided this man is a potential risk to your children and with very good reason.

You’ve repeatedly asked for opinions on this forum and repeatedly been given them - just not the one you wanted to hear.

I would urge you to consider the very real prospect that your judgement on this situation is way off and that the reason SS are stepping in with stipulations to protect your children is because you are unable to do so yourself.

I’m sorry if you think that is harsh or judgemental, but really your children are the priority here, not your feelings about your relationship and certainly not your boyfriend.

I don't think it's a wind up. It's depressingly common for women to choose their boyfriend over their children. I've known too many kids have to live with their extended family because their mother won't break things off with a dangerous man so it's not safe for them at home. Poor things.

FFS really? Is anyone this reckless and stupid with their DCs?

OP give your head a wobble and prioritise your DC. No wonder your ex is shouting about your 'DP', most sane people wouldn't want a convicted sex offender around their DC. But you crack on OP, it's because he can't live in and doesn't want to see you with someone else. Obviously not that he's worried sick about his kids.

You've posted this before - you didn't listen last time, so why are you asking again?

This guy sexually assaulted someone so severely that he is on licence FOR LIFE. And you want him around your kids?

FFS be a better parent. Your "partner" is a monster and cannot be trusted. Raise your standards OP.

Op do you know how difficult it is to get a conviction for sexual assault it's beyond low.
The fact that this man has been CONVICTED for the crime should have major red flags everywhere with flashing lights.
Yet you want to bring him into the lives of innocent children?
Dump this idiot and find someone who isn't the lowest of the low.

I dont understand how the conviction doesnt bother the OP. AND how she believes SS arent bothered by the conviction either.

Theres no way that SS dont think it's a problem.

FFS, you again! Cock before kids classic.

What kind of parent would seriously consider that having a convicted sexual offender around their children is normal or safe?

You have a duty to protect your children and as PP have stayed, a personality disorder first just evaporate, it's still there, regardless of how long agothe conviction was.

Your post sounds very very familiar, are you currently receiving medical treatment for yourself? (That's not a sly dig, I wonder if you're the OP who posted something else a few weeks ago)

Of all the people in all the world ! Really ? If you can't see that this is a clear demonstration of your exceedingly poor judgment- fuck MN judgement ! Ours matters not a jot but if your 'ever so much better poor misunderstood mentally ill serious sex offender partner' - suddenly decided the 'drugs weren't working ' and the mental health nurse was not available.. (normal) decided to rape you or your child at knife point out of pure frustration.. that would be just fine would it ?

I can promise you one thing . With him around the above scenario is a possibility.

Without him there it's not. It's your duty to avoid any possible avoidable threats of harm. You are currently not doing this .