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Need help with variation

2 replies

spaceyface89 · 25/05/2019 23:31

My ex took me to court last year for our child who turned three last week. The CAO has been in place since January.

My ex is a higher earner and cut money from his support payments substantially before the hearings. he paid more than the legal minimum to reflect childcare and his high income and my low income. He cut this without notice. Then he took me to court which has left me in significant debt.

During the court hearings, my barrister raised the fact I was looking for new accommodation because I just couldn't afford our old house. I have now found a place really close to my work and so much cheaper that will give us a chance of paying our d debt off and living a decent life. it's 35 miles away.

The court order states my ex will have child overnight once midweek from September which will obviously be difficult if I take this place. I need to take this place because I can't afford not to as I'm so behind on rent in my current place. The courts knew this was a probability but still ruled mid week overnights.

Should I take it back for a variation? What schedule should I suggest? Does something like every other weekend with third Sunday sound appropriate? So like:
Him Friday til Sunday
Me Friday til Sunday
Him Sunday day time
him Friday til Sunday?

To counteract the midweek contact? Does that sound reasonable?

OP posts:
LilyMumsnet · 26/05/2019 10:19

We're just giving this a bump for you, OP. Flowers

MissMalice · 26/05/2019 12:49

It would be worth attempting mediation first. Is 35 miles really totally unworkable? Is it fast roads or slow? 35 miles can take 30 minutes or over an hour depending on the roads.

Offering a daytime on a Sunday may seem reasonable to your ex and it may not. Have I understood right that you’re offering one day time contact to replace four overnight contacts?
Whether we see it as reasonable or not is neither here nor there really.

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