What does CMS cover?

[PieCannon]

Please help me settle a discussion with the father of my child.

If a father is paying the amount of maintenance the CMS says he has to, then does he have to contribute to anything else? It's his choice to use an after school club on one of his contact days rather than collect his child straight from school, so I assume he has to pay for that. What about school uniform? Is he obliged to keep some school uniform at his house, or is Mum obliged to buy enough for the whole school week and send it with the child to Dad's house? What about school trips, or private tuition?

I've posted on Legal rather than Chat or AIBU because I want the legal answer, not the moral one - Dad is determined to pay the legal minimum and not a penny more. Thanks.

There is no legal answer. The law does not define how child maintenance is to be used. However, he should pay for the after school club on his contact day. That is definitely not your responsibility. Private tuition would be the responsibility of whoever arranges it. So if you arrange private tuition, you should pay for it. You can't force him to contribute towards that. School trips should generally require a voluntary contribution rather than a compulsory charge. Clothing is a grey area. Unfortunately, if the relationship between the parents is poor, clothing can easily be a bone of contention. But the law won't get involved. You have to sort that out between you.

Thank you. Is there a reference I can point him to which explains this?

I don't think so. But if you start using the CMS to collect maintenance he will immediately discover that they won't allow him to deduct money for things like after school clubs, private tuition, etc. He has to pay the full amount of the assessment. You will find the few items that are classed as "special expenses" that are taken into account in calculating maintenance on p37 of this guide.

Is he paying a lot, or not?
If he isn't I would list all your child's clothing, how much it cost, show it is way more than he pays and ask him if he wants to up his payments ...

He's paying £570 a month for 2 children. His argument is that he has them half of all holidays, and 5 nights a fortnight during term-time, so "I'm paying almost £150 a night". Helpful to know the legal position at least - thank you.

He pays less because of the time he has them.

Don’t engage with him over this.

He isn't obliged to pay for anything else, no. Personally I view the maintenance I receive as a contribution to her living costs that he doesn't have to pay because she lives with me. I buy most of her clothes, toys, give her a roof over her head running a bigger property than I would need, feed her all week. He has her every other weekend and doesn't keep a room free for her.

I expect him to chip in for big expenses like shoes (we like her to have properly fitting inevitably expensive shoes so we alternate buying them).

I look at childcare as joint, we both work 5 days a week so neither of us can look after her all week without giving up work so why should that be me?

I also see activities as a joint expense too, why should I foot the entire bill for her enrichment? If he wants the glory of her successes he can contribute towards them!

Luckily her dad happily pays for his half of the childcare etc over and above the maintenance. I don't engage in arguments about what it covers, I treat it like a business arrangement.

And no, I don't co parent amicably with him in a fluffy shiny rainbows and unicorns way - I can't stand him, he's not too fond of me, it took a few years but now we can both focus on the child rather than getting at each other and we don't have resentment about the cost of her/who is paying for what.

To OP

Every case is different. However, for information the outcome of a recent tribunal initiated by ex wife over child maintenance was as follows:

The CMS assessment was correct (ex had challenged the figures) based on zero shared care and the gross earnings, inclusive of all unearned income, as detailed on the HMRC Tax Return.

CMS figure is the legal minimum I have to pay and the maximum that can be enforced.

Child Maintenance is to contribute towards the child's essential day to day living costs.

After school hobbies, clubs, trips, annual holidays, Christmas and birthday gifts are not considered essential (ex wife wanted more than CMS assessment to cover such costs). Tribunal view was that as shared care was zero then such costs should be borne by ex wife as her choice.

I did not fully agree with the Tribunal definition of what is not essential. So I pay direct for such items.

Good luck.

Thank you all for your comments. @prh47bridge and @collaborate, I am particularly grateful that you give up your free time to share your expertise on Mumsnet; thank you.