Can a child attend the school that a NRP teaches at?

[ThisMustBeMyDream]

Asking for my other half as he doesn't use forums like this.
He will be a primary school teacher. He lives 16 miles from his daughter. He intends to work in the area his daughter lives. The school he hopes to work at is directly behind the mums older childs school.
He currently has 5/14 arrangement.
He would like his daughter to attend the school he works at because it means that both mum and dad can be fully involved in her school life. If she attends a different school, he may never get to go to her events, where as her mum will always get to go (she doesn't work). There are also benefits to being a child at your parents school (I can testify to this as a kid who went to her mums school, and my DS who went to grandmas school where she was the headteacher).
He has compared the two schools start and finish times, and as they back on to each other with a direct route to the doors, drop off and pick up will be more than possible for mum when it is her days.
This will have to go to court as he knows mum won't agree to it.
Does anyone have any idea on what the court would view as better for a child? To be in a school that older sibling goes to, or to attend the school dad works at if both schools are next to each other and it isn't difficult to do the school run for the mum?

He needs to decide on what to do. As he could work somewhere a bit closer to home if the court are never going to agree to it. We don't know any other separated teacher dads to ask what happened for them!

My DC loves attending the same school - being able to talk about teachers, see each other in playground, watch each other’s assemblies etc.

I think there is more value to be gained for DD in attending the same school as her older sibling - she’ll be going there to drop off and pick up and be used to that environment. She might have friends through the sibling too if her DM is planning for her to go there.

Going through court means there must be a very combative relationship between your OH and his ex - I would say pushing for DD to go to a different school purely on the basis that her dad might work there. And even if he got a job, it’s not guaranteed that he’d stay - he may dislike it and end up wanting to leave and resenting DD because he can’t.

With two young children, one of whom has only just started school then it’s not that that unusual that she is not work. Nor would it be unusual if she decided to go back to work when her children are both at school.

Just because holidays and inset days have been the same for 3 years does not mean they won’t change in the future.

I have children at two different schools next to one another for this year. It’s a PITA. Keeping track of two lots of admin, two drop-offs, different mufti days, different Christmas fairs, etc etc.

Given he’s doing a pgce still and has no guarantee he can get a job in his preferred school I think he’s being unnecessarily difficult - particularly as who knows what will happen in two/three years.

I would be suspicious of any barrister who is planning on charging you money for arguing this particular point right now

Agreed

What about if parents evening or sports day or nativity play are at the same day/time at different schools?

Mum couldn't attend both and kids would be upset.

But if youve found a confident barrister and you're happy to chuck money at them then do what you're like. Youve had good advice here that not only will it likely be a waste of money but that it will set parents against each other who should be coparenting together in the best interests of the child. But sounds like you don't like that advice.

@ThisMustBeMyDream please tell us what the advantages woud be of insisting your dp's dd goes to the school he works at.

I guess the court would wonder (if they had any sense) why he was so manipulative and why he was putting his own needs and wishes ahead of what's best for the DD.

I'm a teacher's child and I hated being at the same school where my father taught. I was so pleased when he moved on to a different school. I still didn't really relax in school util I went to the grammar where no one knew him.

It's horrible being a teacher's kid. You can't step out of line without them hearing about it in the staffroom.

As a teacher I made sure I never taught at a school where either DC was, even on supply.

For the sake of his child, don't do this.

This doesn't sound fair at all. Siblings should be at the same school as each other. My youngest used to come to the school shows, sports days etc with me before he started school. He was so excited to start at the same school as his brother.

If your dp is so desperate to work at the same school as his child goes to then he should aim for the other school. He can't be fussy and expect everyone else to rearrange their lives around him. Courts etc just to get his own way. Unnecessary drama for all involved.

Other than this being a ridiculous story, has anyone thought it better the dc attends the same school as their sibling? I was always there for my younger sibling when we went to the same school. Assuming your school goes to year 6 the older child will be there a further 4 years of school if they’re in year 3 when the dc in question starts.
And personally two school runs would massively stress me out and I don’t work. Any extra stress imo on the residential parent should be avoided regardless how much you dislike them because in the end it always trickles down to the dc. I’m not divorced btw but I loathe seeing nrp ‘getting back at’ the rp.

For somebody who is training to be a teacher it's bizarre to so obviously be putting the interests of children last. If that's what he's like then I hope he fails his PGCE as teachers should put the needs of children first every time.

He seems to be putting his needs way above his daughters. I would be wary of a man who did that.

and equally wary of a barrister advising that it would be a good idea to fight in court to argue a 2 year old shouldn’t go to the same school as their older sibling.

And as an employer I wouldn’t be keen on someone using their job as a teacher as a way to get more contact time.

So you want to hire a lawyer now to debate the schooling of a child that's only 2, based on the hypothetical possibility of the father actually completing his degree and then getting a job at that school? Lunacy.

My son goes to my school, and it works well, but I think there could end up being a conflict of interest when parents are separated and in conflict with each other. It puts the child's teacher in a really awkward situation when dad, who is also her colleague, says one thing, and the child's mother says another.

How old is his daughter? He wants to try and force the mum to send her kids to different schools, for his convenience. Because she doesn't work, she should suck this up and accept different school pick ups/drop offs, because he's decided he's guaranteed a job in a school which he reckons is the best school for his child. But if he isn't successful in the application, will take a job closer to where you live, and presumably not give a shite she's now at a school he views as substandard because he didn't get in so who cares? Do I have the crux of it? He would probably need to apply to the court now, as it would be an extended process, and chances are won't be considered that highly as he currently has no ties and no ties guaranteed to the school. Court application would take months.

With one of mine, I gave them the option to attend the school their sibling went to (out of zone but would take them on a sibling placement) or the local that ALL of their friends were going to.

They chose the school where they knew no one but it was very important to them that they went to the same school as their sibling even though they were several years apart in age. What if this happens in your situation, do they just get ignored so dad gets his way? Is he more important than the child?

I think the whole thing is really odd anyway and I’m sure a court would. I imagine your barrister has eyes on the $$ as opposed to the outcome as it seems so bizarre that anyone would consider this to be rational.

My mum is a teacher and I would have hated to have gone to a school she taught at. She did some supply at my school when I was very young and that was bad enough. I know you have cited good experiences but that's really not always the case.

My mum taught at my primary school and my dad at my secondary school and it didn’t bother me in the slightest. I know plenty of people who have done it (and I’ve taught the children of colleagues) and it’s never been an issue.

BUT

He’s not a qualified teacher.
There’s no job available at that school.
She might not get a place at that school.
She’s 2.
If there was a job, he might not get it.

Is there really nothing else to concentrate on than this?

Why are there two primary schools right next to each other? That doesn’t even make any sense!

There are so many odd things about the op. I very much doubt it is the full story, as it makes so little sense. A reverse from the mother's point of view maybe?

Never it might be because one is a religious school and the other isn't.

The whole scheme is preposterous. The man that you have chosen to share your life with does not sound very nice to me. He sounds like a controlling fantasist and at the moment he has pulled you in to his nonsense.

Have you told any of your actual friends in real like this plan?

That poor child. This sounds like a high conflict situation.. courts often regard school as a safe sanctuary from warring parents and in my experience would be unlikely to grant this.

I’m interested in hearing when he decided he wanted to be a teacher.

Ilove if it’s the poster I’m thinking of, he’s been studying part time so probably well before the child was born. Such a weird story.

The school encourage you to have your child attend. It is an academy and they have a preference rule for staff children.

Why are you asking us whether it's legal then?!

You don't imagine it's forbidden by family law, surely?

OTOH, be careful of assuming that because you were okay with having a parent teach at your school, every child will feel the same. I was in that situation and I found it excruciatingly embarrassing.

he thinks he will walk into a job in his preferred school? Amazing.

I know this is not the point of the thread, but a male primary school teacher + the current recruitment and retention crisis = of course he will walk into a job in his preferred school. Probably be the head in 5 years.