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Original poster

My ex wants to sell the house me and the children live in

52 replies

jodie2304 · 03/01/2019 21:27

My self and ex partner bought the house approximately 11 years ago and we are both on the Mortgage. We split 6 years ago as he left for someone else when I was pregnant. I have stayed in the house with both our children, my youngest being 5 having disabilities and having had the house adapted for him by a dfg grant and he also has a lot of medical problems which means extra equipment in the house etc. My ex partner paid the mortgage since we split in leau of maintenance and has now decided he no longer wants to do this as it’s too expensive so wants £300 a month from me or He is saying either me and the boys move out so we can sell or I have to buy him out- I obviously can’t do that as I’m on benefits due to giving up my career to care for my disabled child and our eldest son. What are my best options please?
Thank you

OP posts:
Collaborate · 03/01/2019 23:10
  1. Divorce.
  2. Apply for financial remedy order.
  3. Ask the court to transfer the property to you, or at least meet your housing needs, as well as other orders (against capital, pensions, and spouse maintenance).

You can skip 2 and 3 if you can reach an agreement with him, but go through solicitors. Don't be short changed.

MrsBertBibby · 04/01/2019 01:55

I think OP isn't married. Is that right OP?

Kazplus2 · 04/01/2019 07:01

Have you worked out what he should be giving you in maintenance? Might be worth comparing that to the mortgage payments.

Weenurse · 04/01/2019 07:02

No advice, just 💐 I hope things work out for you

PersonaNonGarter · 04/01/2019 07:03

You can’t force him not to sell. Which is more expensive, the mortgage payments or maintenance?

Collaborate · 04/01/2019 07:07

@PersonaNonGarter What do you mean by this? It doesn’t make sense. The court can deny the ex an order for sale, whether they are married or not.

Original poster
jodie2304 · 04/01/2019 07:18

We are not married- that is right

OP posts:
PersonaNonGarter · 04/01/2019 07:18

Is that a permanent arrangement, though? It looks as though the OP is looking for a permanent solution.

Original poster
jodie2304 · 04/01/2019 07:52

I’m going to a solicitor next week once kids are back in school. I’m considering going to court for the order that he has to keep the house until my youngest son is 18. I’m just concerned if he then decides to stop paying his half of mortgage- drops hrs in work so maintenance amount drops etc and then it’s a large amount for me to find every month. Would I then keep having to go to court to sort the problem out? At present I can’t see any other way round this as council property or private rental in our area that will meet our needs are difficult to come across, plus I don’t think I’d get a mortgage to take his name off it due to me being on benefits - thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
jodie2304 · 04/01/2019 07:55

I don’t know is salary but 6 years ago it ranged from 28,000 (very basic) to 36,000 with his bonus’s etc. He only has boys overnight 1 night every 6 week approximately

OP posts:
PurpleWithRed · 04/01/2019 07:57

You really really need to see a solicitor. To make the most of your time with the solicitor have an idea of the value of the house, the size of the mortgage, who has contributed what to the purchase of the house, and XDPs income.

Original poster
jodie2304 · 04/01/2019 08:04

I have all the mortgage prices and rates ready as they still come to me in the post, I’ve done all the household upkeep since he left plus put in a new kitchen, new garden to make it safe for my youngest, new boiler etc. Thank you. I’m going to make an appointment today for next week with a solicitor. He thinks it’s just a case of I say ok and we sell. Il try and find out from him how much he thinks his maintenance payments will be as well - thanks

OP posts:
Vitalogy · 04/01/2019 08:13

Maintenance for two children on his salary will be more than £300 a mouth surely.

Vitalogy · 04/01/2019 08:14

*month

SillySallySingsSongs · 04/01/2019 08:18

Unless he is a high earner he won't be expected to continue to pay half the mortgage whilst also havining to pay for somewhere to live himself. Can you afford it on your own?

It isn't straight forward as you aren't married. You need legal advice.

Collaborate · 04/01/2019 08:18

Given the fact one of your children is disabled and your house is adapted, unless you could see it and buy a much cheaper (and adapted) house that is suitable hell would have to freeze over before a court orders that you have to sell that house. Apply to court though. You need it to be in trust. Without it being in trust his creditors could come after the property and force a sale.

cestlavielife · 04/01/2019 08:20

He can apply for an order to sell.
You can argue against and take into account child s disabilities etc
Discuss with solicitor.
Look at equity you would get on sale. How much other properties are etc.

Original poster
jodie2304 · 04/01/2019 08:22

Half the mortgage would be his child maintenance

OP posts:
SillySallySingsSongs · 04/01/2019 08:24

Just seen what you believe his salary is.

You need to be able to afford to pay the mortgage. How much is it a month?

Get legal advice.

PilarTernera · 04/01/2019 08:26

If you want an idea of how much the maintenance should be, use the child maintenance calculator on the gov.uk website. It will give you a more accurate answer than asking him.

Original poster
jodie2304 · 04/01/2019 08:29

Mortgage is £620 a month

OP posts:
ems137 · 04/01/2019 08:37

If he earns £30,000 (in the middle of your figures) he'll have to pay £400 a month maintenance. So you'd only need to pay £220 towards the mortgage.

See a solicitor and find out whether you can apply to stay in the house.

IceRebel · 04/01/2019 08:44

Goodness me this could be messy, I definitely second getting advice from a solicitor. The current arrangement isn't very stable, and i'm surprised he's agreed to pay for so long.

TooTrueToBeGood · 04/01/2019 13:40

i'm surprised he's agreed to pay for so long

I'm not if it's less than he'd have to pay in child maintenance. He also possibly hopes that he's entitled to an ongoing share in the equity in the house. See a solicitor OP, you really need proper professional advice.

SillySallySingsSongs · 04/01/2019 13:42

He also possibly hopes that he's entitled to an ongoing share in the equity in the house.

He will be.

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