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Original poster

My ex wants to sell the house me and the children live in

52 replies

jodie2304 · 03/01/2019 21:27

My self and ex partner bought the house approximately 11 years ago and we are both on the Mortgage. We split 6 years ago as he left for someone else when I was pregnant. I have stayed in the house with both our children, my youngest being 5 having disabilities and having had the house adapted for him by a dfg grant and he also has a lot of medical problems which means extra equipment in the house etc. My ex partner paid the mortgage since we split in leau of maintenance and has now decided he no longer wants to do this as it’s too expensive so wants £300 a month from me or He is saying either me and the boys move out so we can sell or I have to buy him out- I obviously can’t do that as I’m on benefits due to giving up my career to care for my disabled child and our eldest son. What are my best options please?
Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
jodie2304 · 04/01/2019 17:32

I’m expecting that he will be entitled to a share of the house and that is fine. I have an appointment on Tuesday with the solicitor so hopefully can work something out - thanks all

OP posts:
IceRebel · 04/01/2019 18:00

Hopefully the appointment provides some answers, what a way to start the new year. Flowers

TooTrueToBeGood · 04/01/2019 18:12

I’m expecting that he will be entitled to a share of the house and that is fine

It's really not fine. The money he has been paying has been to service his investment in the property. He's dressed it up as child support and suckered you. Bottom line, he's not been financially supporting his son. Good luck with the solicitor. I hope they are shit hot and get you every penny they can squeeze out of this situation.

SillySallySingsSongs · 04/01/2019 18:14

The money he has been paying has been to service his investment in the property. He's dressed it up as child support and suckered you.

He would be entitled anyway.

TooTrueToBeGood · 04/01/2019 19:02

He would be entitled anyway.

In the absence of any written agreement to the contrary yes. However, by ensuring the mortgage is paid (given that the OP couldn't afford it all herself) he's ensured it hasn't gone into arrears. My main point still stands - he hasn't been financially contributing to his child.

madcatladyforever · 04/01/2019 19:05

Appoint a legal aid solicitor, apply for a divorce and get as much as you can. It's highly likely he will not be allowed to selll the house until your children have grown up under the circumstances.
He probably knows that you are entitled to a lot more and is trying to bully you out before you find out.
What an absolute charmer.

Original poster
jodie2304 · 04/01/2019 20:28

Luckily we never married so I don’t need to worry about divorce - thanks

OP posts:
SillySallySingsSongs · 04/01/2019 20:30

he hasn't been financially contributing to his child.

He would have a strong case for saying he has by paying the mortgage.

PsychedelicSheep · 04/01/2019 20:35

'Appoint a legal aid solicitor' yeah because it's that easy!

There is no legal aid in the U.K. except in cases of domestic abuse, which this isn't.

IceRebel · 04/01/2019 20:41

It's highly likely he will not be allowed to selll the house until your children have grown up under the circumstances.

Is that really the case? Shock Even though the OP can't afford the property by herself and can't afford to buy out her ex partner?

Redtartanshoes · 04/01/2019 20:47

Has he been paying the full mortgage of £600 or his half?

RedHelenB · 04/01/2019 22:34

Can you afford the mortgage if he pays child maintenance of approx £400?

PsychedelicSheep · 04/01/2019 23:18

You can apply for a mesher order which would prevent the sale of the house until the youngest child is 18. You'll need the money for legal fees though.

OldPosterNewUsername · 04/01/2019 23:57

Maintenance for two children on his salary will be more than £300 a mouth surely
I just did a super rough estimate for CM on a weekly take home pay of £600 and it gives a figure of £96 a week for both kids

OldPosterNewUsername · 05/01/2019 00:06

You can apply for a mesher order which would prevent the sale of the house until the youngest child is 18
The OP and her partner were NOT married to each other.

GodknowsIwanttobreakfree · 05/01/2019 00:13

It’s not simple. When my ex left he didn’t pay a penny on the mortgage (didn’t when he lived there for that matter,) he didn’t pay a penny in child maintenance and I had two small disabled children who he refused to see.

After complicated proceedings the court ordered the sale of the family home so he could get his share. I could afford the mortgage but I couldn’t buy him out.

Everyone’s circumstances are different of course but I think some of the advice on here is outdated.

IceRebel · 05/01/2019 08:44

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation GodKnows I hope you're in a better place now Flowers

Singlenotsingle · 05/01/2019 08:58

You can't get a mesher order if you're not married.

Original poster
jodie2304 · 05/01/2019 09:07

Thanks for all the advice, I have booked an appointment with a solicitor on Tuesday so see what my options are. I have also put my name on the council list but unfortunately the area I live in has an extremely long wait for properties especially something that would suit the family needs etc. I am willing to pay the remainder of the mortgage after the maintenance has been paid (as long as maintenance rate dosent drop for any reason) it’s just the worry of him insisting the house gets sold. I’m not apposed to eventually selling and moving as long at it suits the children’s needs as it would be a full clean break from him. Thanks

OP posts:
Kemer2018 · 05/01/2019 09:11

My dad's solicitor got a charge order on my mum's house so when she sold he got 25% of the profits.

I hope your solicitor is helpful. Best of luck. Your ex sounds like he's not taken on much with the care of your children, that's rubbish.

IceRebel · 05/01/2019 09:20

I am willing to pay the remainder of the mortgage after the maintenance has been paid (as long as maintenance rate dosent drop for any reason)

I'm not sure i'd want to live with someone else being responsible for a considerable amount of the mortgage, even more so a EX partner. He could decide to get a new job, or step down to make it impossible for him to contribute as much in the hope that you'll sell. It would keep me awake at night with worry. Sad

Singlenotsingle · 05/01/2019 09:27

I have heard (from a mortgage broker) that interest only mortgages are coming back. Not sure when, but would that be worth be looking into?

Cherries101 · 05/01/2019 09:31

Speak to the solicitor and try to figure out an access agreement that allows him to have the kids more. He can’t have it both ways. If he wants to stop paying the mortgage he has to allow you to find work to pick up the shortfall — that means a 50/50 parenting / custody arrangement. Put it to him legally and you may find he stops bugging you to sell the house!

Original poster
jodie2304 · 05/01/2019 09:35

It would be my ideal dream to just buy him out but being on benefits due to my sons disabilities etc I probably wouldn’t get a mortgage. We owe £100,000 on the house and in a dream life I’d love to just get a mortgage in my own name for the remainder and sending him on his way but unfortunately it ain’t that easy

OP posts:
Original poster
jodie2304 · 05/01/2019 09:36

He’d never do 50/50 childcare. He only manages either one tea a week after school or a full day at a weekend. They stay over approximately 1 night every 5/6 weeks. He finds the youngest difficult to manage x

OP posts:
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