In answers to your questions
Initially to pay off debts and then towards a deposit to buy a house.
I've already changed working arrangements to suit us: early start and finish. Ex employment situation is not stable so I can't afford to risk my job.
He is on the birth certificate.
I can't commute from my parent's home to my current job. I'm on two months notice. I've got a lot to sort out at the moment so may consider doing so if I could find a suitable job. But will proably move closer in the longterm for support as ex is unreliable.
My salary is £38k so I wasn't eligible for benefits, I suppose this may be different now I'm single. Ex visa restricts this as well.
If we stuck to our budget, cash available after monthly expenses from which I'd need to service the debt, minimum repayments c. £280, leaving £320 for savings and non essentials. From this I needed to save enough money in six months to get a deposit/rent in advance/reference fees which is probably at least £2.5k. Add childcare into the mix based on previous rates it would be £300 per week I would need to find until Ex was paid. It was nearly impossible to find a childminder who would take a child at 6.30am. I was hoping after a couple of days he would decide it wasn't worth it and initially tried to reason with him about waiting until we sent our daughter to my parents.
I think he has effectively moved out, but he still has stuff here and hasn't returned the key.
Before splitting sending daughter to my parents had been discussed. Initially he said no, but after some thought he agreed. It would us to clear the debts, save for a deposit, finish my professional qualification and he could do a PM certification. He has been struggling to find a PM job as he doesn't have UK experience/recognised qualification. This would set us up for the future.
We had been arguing about his job and childcare. Daughter had taken herself to poo on the potty and made a mess and tried to clean the poo from her knickers in with all the others clothes. It spurred me into taking immediate action. He said he could manage and was refusing to get childcare or only take a few shifts, every other day so he could rest. I suggested i take our daughter to my parents that Friday evening 22/6, rather than wait until the already agreed end of July. But he wasn't ready and was saying no. I said ok, but I was going anyway to take some stuff to store there. When I was there I made the decision to leave her there. He was angry about this. Said I had kidnapped his daughter and then he would sue me. At this point I had had enough and thought fine it's over. Said ok I'll await hearing from you. I left thing to settle. We weren't talking for a while. Then he was talking to me as though nothing had happened and didn't mention the situation, but then he was speaking to me as though he had accepted the situation as what we had planned to do as he had been offered two permanent roles, which he wanted to do trial shifts for, but would then do the temp night shift straight after. He conceded that it was best that our daughter wasn't with us as it gave him the ability at short notice to do the trial shifts. Two weeks after taking her I was going to see her and he said he would join us from the saturday after his shift finishrd in the morningand stay overnight at my parents. He asked if i could wait for hime and go together i said no i want to that evening. He saw me packing up all her stuff, he got angry as he wanted to keep some things with us in case she came to stay, I said no as we're moving out of the flat as soon as we get ourselves sorted and somewhere to live. He got reallt angry and nasty , saying that I would be keeping her away from him. He stormed off to work and I left it at that. I assumed he wouldn't be coming. Next day he sent a message that he was on his way. I met him with daughter and then it became apparent he still expected to stay at my parents. I said no chance after his behaviour. He had booked a return coach for the next day, so he was insistent that he would get a hotel room for the night with our daughter, but I said no. He could do bedtime and meet up in the morning, he wasn't interested as the coach was at two, so it wouldn't be worth it! My concern was that he had knowhere to stay and would consider staying out all night with daughter to be difficult. After his blow up on the Friday I didn't want him staying in ,y parents home. He got nasty, agressive and inches from my face and was blocking me physically from leaving. Since then we have both been at home and ships in the night. I was walking home on Monday and he was on his way to work and tried to grab my face and kiss me, which I rebuffed. He said let's go for coffee and discuss, he didn't dicuss and it was though nothing had happened again and said about the two off us renting a flat. I put him straight and that would not be happening. We left and that was it. I didn't here from him or a couple of days. Then get an angry tirade that my parents want let him speak to his daughter. I asked my dad to check all mobiles and landlines to corroborate this, but they had one missed call on a mobile. When they evtually facetimed daughter was tired from not sleeping well as a result of hot weather so didn't want to speak to him after saying hello. Ex is now accusing us of poisoning her against him. He has threatened all sorts but I'm sure it's a lot of bluster. I asked my parents to get her to call when she was in a better mood. They did try but she is refusing to and getting upset. My dad now thinks ex has done something to upset her as she is fine when they day speak to mummy. They asked her if she wants to see ex, no she wants to see mummy and daddy, no to just ex. But she is fine when they say just mummy. I think this because ex doesn't pay her much attention. She would ask him to get me from the station after work. When I got in she would be exited to see me and keep asking me to take her out.
Sorry long post.