custody battle and relocating

[msS123]

hi I'm currently going through a horrible custody battle with my ex. he's trying to stop me from taking my child back to my home country and trying to get full custody and he's made awful accusations that i neglect my child and made out im a alcoholic. he is a drug addict and denied a drugs test when i requested one.he isn't cable of minding the child by himself he also works full time and wants to put him into a day care centre all day. I'm pregnant with a new partner and want to move home the quality of life is better for my child and i can't afford to live in London with another baby on the way I couldn't work. i can't afford a solictor has anyone else on here represented themselves in court for a matter like this? or anyone have a similar story about relocation with there child. just looking for some support.

Have you set out in detail your plans if you go? House, job, school, and most of all, contact with dad.

What stage are you at in court proceedings?

yes I had already went home for 3 months which he willing let me go with the child and paid for the flights and came to visit and is trying to claim it's child abduction. i have already organised a play school for him and all my family are around me and his family live there too so i would have loads of support. i have told the father i would fly over once a month with my child and he is welcome in my home any time he wants to visit. he has 12weeks off a year for work and i was willing to let him take him during his holidays. i was recently in court for a prohibited steps order. I'm unsure where i go from here as I've no money for a solictor and will have to do the paper work myself and represent myself in court.

Be warned the process is not cheap or quick and you could end up bearing the full brunt of access costs as in you pay for every flight you pay for the passport he could legitimately get ALL the school holidays. It was a case i was repersenting a friend whom wanted to relocate to hong kong for a job the court said they could go but she had to fund 8 flights a year and my friend would have them for every school holiday as judge ruled that was fair as she would have them the rest of the year worth of weekends took over a year to sort out in the end she had to give up as she was not prepared to be burdened with cost and not seeing her children for weeks on end and her arguements were he could move out and follow her....

I am not trying to stop you applying get proper legal representation and go from there. Just be prepared for a long process i wish you the best.

hi thanks for replying to my post. ya i found out today how expensive it is and will have to do all the paper work myself and represent myself in court not sure how that will go down but I have no other option. i am willing to fund flights back and forth it's only a hour away so isn't so expensive. i really do hope the judge allows me to leave because I'm stuck with no money and havr go to a food bank every few days with my child. it's no way of living back home i can well afford to live. thanks so much for responding xx

Lots of solicitors will offer a free half hour of advice. Ring a few and see if you can get an appointment.

Be prepared to battle in court for t least 9-12 months. I’m going through the same process to relocate within the uk. It is hard. And very expensive. If you can self rep. as much as possible to save costs but I’d really recommend gettting a direc access barrister for the hearings if you can.

If you can afford these flights you can afford a barrister. Talk to a solicitor and you may be able to get a barrister who is fairly recently qualified who won’t cost the earth but can do a good job for you. I know these cases are winnable but I would strongly suggest you don’t do it yourself. You stand a much better chance with professional advocacy in front of the judge. I also know a case where flight costs were not part of the judgement but Dad had been absent for years.