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Original poster

Desperate- can he really make me and our child homeless

84 replies

PhoenixIsRising · 10/12/2017 09:06

Partner of many years has had affair and now decided he wants to have a new life without me and our 2 year old with this new, much younger woman.

He owns the house. I have been visiting family in the last week (swapping xmas presents etc) and now says that as I have 'moved out' I have no right to return to the property.

Can this really be the case? I know I have no right of ownership to the property but surely he can't make me and his own child homeless like this?

Despite his astronomical salary I have always paid for everything relating to the child and all our food (but critically nothing relating to the house). This means I do not have a great deal of income as I earned significantly less than him and was also part time.

I posted originally in chat but was advised to ask in this board in case there was anyone with a legal perspective that could help.

OP posts:
PencilsInSpace · 10/12/2017 09:15

What an arsehole!

You can apply for an occupation order.

ivykaty44 · 10/12/2017 09:22

I would also advise you go on Monday morning to the district council offices and tell them what he has done and let them know you are homeless with your dc

Ask them for as much advice as possible, take with you I. D and bank statements along with child benefits etc

What do you want? Do you want to try and stay in the house or do you want to move on and make a new life?

I would contact the new csa as well pronto and give them details of his earnings etc

He is being callous

You could do with getting yourself sorted to make sure you get maintenance for your dc and asap

MrsBertBibby · 10/12/2017 11:20

Conceivably you could have the use of the house until your child is grown if you make an application under Schedule 1 Children Act, but you need to take advice first.

In the mean time any court should order him to let you back in under an occupation order.

Legal Aid is available for an occupation order application. Call a legal aid family solicitor First thing Monday.

Bluntness100 · 10/12/2017 11:27

There is some terrible misinformation here, they are not married and her name is not on the deeds or tenancy agreement.

She can only apply for an occupation order for a short period if she suffered domestic abuse, and even that’s not a given. As they are not married and she has no claim to the property he can indeed force her to leave.she has no legal rights sadly.

Whoyagonna · 10/12/2017 11:30

Fuck. That's shit. Surely he'll have to pay maintenance for his child at least? Can you not just walk back in or has he changed the locks?

Bluntness100 · 10/12/2017 11:31

Yes he needs to pay child support...

RestingGrinchFace · 10/12/2017 11:32

I take it that you are not married? Even so you will likely have a beneficial stake in the house but probably quite a small one. He would of course also be expected to give money for the upbringing of your child. Go back to the house (if possible) and refuse to leave. Meanwhile get yourself a very good family lawyer.

Bluntness100 · 10/12/2017 11:33

Even so you will likely have a beneficial stake in the house but probably quite a small one

She really doesn’t, I’m sorry.

glow1984 · 10/12/2017 11:36

I agree with Bluntness. As I understand it, if he owns the house, and you are not married, you don’t have a right to live there. I think you need to start making plans.

Really sorry you’re going through this Flowers

Whoyagonna · 10/12/2017 11:36

What about all your possessions in the house? Can you collect them? Even better, could you legally pretend to be collecting them and then plonk your arse there until he comes up with some sort of a better solution for you? God above, not long out of a break-up myself, and men never cease to amaze me at how nasty and cruel they can be.

glow1984 · 10/12/2017 11:37

Oh but you are entitled to child maintenance, so you should contact CMS. I believe they have a calculator on their website so you can check how much your child is entitled to

Blackteadrinker77 · 10/12/2017 11:37

I have no legal knowledge at all so can't advice on the house.

Do you have family around you to help you through this? Can you stay at your parents?

Heratnumber7 · 10/12/2017 11:37

Bluntness is right, unfortunately.

There are so many misconceptions about the rights of common law partners, when really, there are no rights at all.

Bluntness100 · 10/12/2017 11:40

The police can organise her collecting her belongings. She can’t just sit in his house. He can call the police to have her removed. She has no more right to sit in his home and refuse to leave than she has to sit in anyone else’s sadly.

Op, I’d organise collection of your stuff. Sort out child support and find someplace to live. Speak to women’s aid and shelter.

Whoyagonna · 10/12/2017 11:41

I really hope bluntness or someone wiser than me has a better solution, but maybe get you, your daughter and a backpack with whatever you have with you down to the council office in the morning. Tell them you're now homeless. Fill in income details as they are now i.e. not in receipt of maintenance now etc. Ignore his income as it is not yours now as things stand. Council should have to look at your circumstances as they are NOW. (I think). Then again, in an ideal world, life would be that simple. Reality has unfortunately taught me that it rarely is. What a fucking blow 2 weeks to Christmas.

Whoyagonna · 10/12/2017 11:43

Bluntness (speaking from experience on this one), police won't get involved in this as it is their favourite sentence ever 'it's a civil matter'.

Bluntness100 · 10/12/2017 11:44

God, I’ve no solutions , sorry, other than I think the council has to provide emergency accommodation and he has to provide child support.

Whoyagonna · 10/12/2017 11:47

Is child support a percentage of his income or a fixed amount per child (never claimed it myself). If it's a percentage of his income, is he a PAYE employee where he can't hide his income? I hope so!

Auspiciouspanda · 10/12/2017 11:47

Whilst the police won't get involved he is entitled to use 'reasonable force' to remove an unwanted person from his property which wouldn't be a great thing for her child to experience.

My suggestion would be to present your self to your councils housing options department as soon as they open and they will be able to advise on your options.

Whoyagonna · 10/12/2017 11:48

Do not, under any circumstances tell the council that you have somewhere to go (i.e. couch surfing with family or similar) or they will ignore you. You tell them. Here we are. My and my 2 year old. Homeless. Kicked out by boyfriend from his house. Relationship ended. Nowhere to go.

Auspiciouspanda · 10/12/2017 11:49

Child maintenance is a % of income. Can be hard to get if the father refuses to pay though.

WhollyFather · 10/12/2017 11:49

Pencils linked to the Citizens Advice site which makes no mention of DV being a prerequisite for an Occupation Order whilst the Gov.uk site seems to, though the form you have to complete doesn't ask any questions about DV in the context of an Occupation Order, only a Non-Molestation Order.

Looks like an urgent trip to solicitors is needed.

WallisFrizz · 10/12/2017 11:52

Do you think he would be likely to provide you a deposit and fees for a private rental to avoid his child having to go into council accommodation. That is what I would be asking for now. Or could you move in with family for a few months and save some of his maintenance money as a deposit. Good luck. What a giant bell end.

grobagsforever · 10/12/2017 11:54

Do you own the furniture? Anything else of value that is legally yours that you can take?

I'm so sorry. PP are right. He can do this. It's awful.

Whoyagonna · 10/12/2017 11:55

No reflection on people who work so hard in emergency accommodation, or on those who indeed desperately need it, but fuck me, what a blow, to land in a hostel or something for Christmas with a baby. Lord above. Talk about having the rug pulled from under your feet and a slap in the teeth along with it. The bastard.