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Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

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Original poster

Desperate- can he really make me and our child homeless

84 replies

PhoenixIsRising · 10/12/2017 09:06

Partner of many years has had affair and now decided he wants to have a new life without me and our 2 year old with this new, much younger woman.

He owns the house. I have been visiting family in the last week (swapping xmas presents etc) and now says that as I have 'moved out' I have no right to return to the property.

Can this really be the case? I know I have no right of ownership to the property but surely he can't make me and his own child homeless like this?

Despite his astronomical salary I have always paid for everything relating to the child and all our food (but critically nothing relating to the house). This means I do not have a great deal of income as I earned significantly less than him and was also part time.

I posted originally in chat but was advised to ask in this board in case there was anyone with a legal perspective that could help.

OP posts:

retirednow · 10/12/2017 18:06

Good luck, will be thinking of you and your daughter and hope you sort something out soon, you will come out the winner.

Bluntness100 · 10/12/2017 18:15

I agree seeing a solicitor is a good idea op. Please post an update for other women who will be in your shoes and good luck.

FireCracker2 · 10/12/2017 18:22

The occupation order shouldn’t take very long to sort out.
from www.gov.uk website

'You can apply for an occupation order if you’re a victim of domestic violence and meet the requirements'

The Op hasn't been a victim of DV, so how does she qualify?

expatinscotland · 10/12/2017 18:28

Get in to see a solicitor asap, OP, because people like this very often get away with tossing out ex-partner and child to the wind. He may well have already taken legal advice, he was savvy enough to protect his house by making sure you never paid anything towards it, leaving you instead paying for your child, and may also move to take such measures as having his company hire him as a self-employed contractor to decrease his salary, marrying the girlfriend quickly to use her to hide assets, have another child or more than one child quickly to reduce maintenance, all sorts.

AdalindSchade · 10/12/2017 18:31

I really can't see how OP could get an occupation order!

cestlavielife · 10/12/2017 18:32

He has a responsibility to support his child but not the child s mother.
Call cms tomorrow child maintenance options

Whoyagonna · 10/12/2017 18:32

First appointment you can get in the morning OP. Sounds like the best place to start. Probably try to find one specialising in family law.

Battleax · 10/12/2017 18:39

This needs to be raised awareness off.

Christ almighty, what more can be done? If people want to be stupid, they will be.

Battleax · 10/12/2017 18:44

(Not that you're stupid, OP, I'm sure you chose to take a considered risk.)

Whoyagonna · 10/12/2017 18:47

Battleax, what do you actually feel you add to a conversation? Repetition?

MrsGrindah · 10/12/2017 18:48

Whoah Bluntness was only trying to help and didn’t claim to have any legal experience! This kind of thing happens on these threads .. people give the best info they can in the spirit of trying to help. No need to get sneery.

AntiHop · 10/12/2017 18:48

What an absolute shit. So sorry op.

Whoyagonna · 10/12/2017 18:49

Maybe we couldn't comprehend the first point made, so you had to translate it for us? You're so condescending on some threads.

Battleax · 10/12/2017 18:53

You just stick to your oh so original and insightful "Probably try to find one specialising in family law." advice who

MrsBertBibby · 10/12/2017 18:54

I really can't see how OP could get an occupation order!

And your family law experience is...?
OP is highly likely on the facts stated here to get an occupation order requiring him to let her back in.

She is on these fact unlikely to get an occupation order for exclusive occupation.

I have secured plenty of OOs with no violence. Ousters are much more of an ask, but even then, with evidence of developmental harm to the children, it can be done.

JaffaCakes4TeaNow · 10/12/2017 18:56

What an awful situation.

The only real remedy is to do something you cannot now do, which is to marry the man before you have a child with him.

WillowWept · 10/12/2017 19:04

mrsgrindah the thing is though this is legal populated by some experienced and respected lawyers

bluntness was pretty sneery herself in the face of good advice from experienced professionals.

PencilsInSpace · 10/12/2017 19:05

Thank you MrsBert, I thought this was a possibility but would have hated to give OP wrong advice.

It says on the CAB page that there is no fee to apply, is that correct? Also, how long would it take OP to get one and what level of legal help would she need?

Collaborate · 10/12/2017 19:10

It is not necessary to prove violence to get an occupation order, as any solicitor worth their salt will tell you.

I despair at times that it’s necessary to keep coming on here to correct the uninformed who confidently yet mistakenly assert what they think the law is.

PencilsInSpace · 10/12/2017 19:15

Thinking more broadly, it's situations like this that make me strongly in favour of equal civil partnerships. Many women want nothing to do with marriage because of its history and baggage, even though it's in their interests in terms of security. OP may not have gone for a CP either but I would have done, had that been a possibility. As it was, I brought up my DC as a cohabitee and could so easily have ended up in OP's situation.

Battleax · 10/12/2017 19:22

Many women want nothing to do with marriage because of its history and baggage, even though it's in their interests in terms of security.

That might be your reasoning and maybe of a subset of women, but I think mostly it's apathy and a determination to believe in "common law marriage" and tooth fairies.

"Never live anywhere that isn't, at least jointly, in your name" (tenancy or deeds) is a good rule to live by, regardless of marital status.

expatinscotland · 10/12/2017 19:36

There's already a way to get that security, Pencil, you get married. The other way is as Battleax says, to never live anywhere that isn't at least jointly in your name and to never, ever become financially dependent on another person who has no legal obligation to you whatsoever. Yet every single week there are threads about women discussing how they went PT or jacked in work FT to look after children with 'DP'.

expatinscotland · 10/12/2017 19:37

Or 'DP' earns more so I'm going to jack in work or go PT as 'can't afford to work'. You can't afford not to work if you're with an unmarried partner and not independently wealthy.

scrabbler3 · 10/12/2017 20:15

Best of luck, OP. I'm glad you have somewhere to go for now.

I really hope he loses a few friends over this. I definitely couldn't be mates with someone who behaved as he has done. Actually, I hope a trusted friend gives him a good talking-to, it's what the idiot needs.

Not necessarily relevant to the person who started this thread but .....perceiving marriage as an anachronism is terribly right-on. This is all very well if you're a middle-class professional. Unfortunately, in many cases the woman concerned is in a lower socioeconomic group and is kidding herself that all will be well, having bought into the myth of common-law wives and how marriage is a "piece of paper".

expatinscotland · 10/12/2017 20:18

Oh, yes, 'a piece of paper'. So's a will, or a passport, or a birth certificate.

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