Hi everyone, Long time lurker first time poster.
I'm a bit stuck and have no idea what to do next. My story is a long one, but I will shorten it as best I can - any ideas on what to do are much appreciated.
8 years ago, after a very difficult and troubled relationship the father and I broke up. The break up was very bitter due to infidelity on my part, I was desperate for comfort after years of controlling and coercive behaviour. Ultimately I had a few problems when I left, around trust and confidence, so I wanted to get myself together before resuming contact with my child - who was 3 at the time.
There was a lot of hostility and bitterness on his part and maybe I didn't handle the situation as best I could. Having to start my life all over again, and still very fragile I was easily intimidated by him and his family. My work schedule was only released 1 week in advance and desperate for cash I couldn't change my shifts as I wouldn't have been able to support myself financially (or pay CSA), so occasionally I had to cancel or rearrange the visitation we'd agreed would be fortnightly. Eventually these broke down completely with wild accusations being thrown around on his part, it made visiting my child in a healthy environment and mindframe entirely impossible, so out of concern for my child and I withdrew from visitation until the situation calmed down.
I always tried stayed in contact with the Father and I sent presents and cards etc, but the intimidation and insults kept flying, so eventually contact with the Father became more sporadic. I wasn't being given any information about my child apart from 'they're ok' etc.
When my child turned 8 I started to get very frustrated and thought enough time had passed, maybe we could put everything behind us and work together for our child to know both parents - by this time the father has started a family with his new partner, so my child has half siblings, and has more than likely forgotten about me. I tried to be very civil with him, offering solutions to problems, trying to get more information about my child... nothing. More insults, more accusations, more intimidation. This went on for another 2 years.
I tried to attempt mediation with the father, but no he didn't want to do it. I had no choice left but to take him to court to get access. In the FHDRA he agreed that the child would meet me and it would be at a contact centre... great I thought. It never happened because they all thought the centre 'wasn't the right type of place' (based on my experience of him, to me this read - the father wouldn't be in control). So we went back for a final hearing and thrashed out a new order with the help of CAFCASS - after several attempts of his to muddy the water with things like - why aren't you paying CSA (I don't have an income of any kind - but that's another story). We managed to keep him on subject and he agreed to fortnightly visits in which I would travel a round trip of 600 miles to see our child, they would promote a healthy relationship between me and the child, and we would all listen to what the child wanted. For the initial meeting the step mother was to be present - all went well. Then in the intervening period after a few pleasant phonecalls with her (stepmother) backwards and forwards - things took a turn for the worse, with demands being thrown around that I would meet the step mother before my visitation with my child - I didn't think this was healthy as every other time the discussion always turned in to interrogation - not healthy before your visit with your estranged child.
After a whole week of instults and demands (all unreasonable on their part), the step mother shows up with her sister in law & my child, and in front of my child starts shouting questions at me. I managed to calm the situation down and protect my child from the worst of what was happening, but the two of the hung around hijacking my conversations and ruining the whole visit - at the end, both of them jumped up and infront of my child begin shouting at me, demandign I answer the questions they say the child is asking - questions about things that children just shouldn't know about - demanding answers to things like CSA payments and why my birthday present 'just wasn't good enough' etc. The sister in law started shouting at me and eventually snatched my child away, leaving the step mother hurling abuse at me infront of other people.
I apologised to everyone when they all left and asked the shop manager if they could be a witness for me. But I just don't know what to do now.
Please help