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Original poster

grandparents contact

13 replies

rickeys16v · 02/02/2017 02:46

hi guys this is my first time posting so please go easy. im looking for some advice. in aug 2015 we had a family holiday which included mil and fil it didnt go as planned and things got a bit tense nearing the end. anyway to cut a long story short we havent saw them since even when our youngest got burnt and her son had a breakdown not once did she call to.see if they were ok. in 18 months not a visit a card or anything to any of the kids. and two weeks ago my husband and i were issued with a summons to court for contact. my question is has anyone else had similar problems.

OP posts:
girlelephant · 09/02/2017 16:29

Bumping for you

Suggest you add country of residence as my understanding was in many countries (incl uK) GPs do not have access rights

BonnyScotland · 09/02/2017 16:32

UK Law

Family courts do recognise the invaluable role that grandparents have to play in their grandchildrens lives and it is very rare that the court would refuse a grandparent access to grandchildren unless there is evidence of abuse or violence.

seek legal advice soon

MrsBertBibby · 09/02/2017 18:18

UK law?

Original poster
rickeys16v · 09/02/2017 18:46

yea sorry northern ireland

OP posts:
Ilovecaindingle · 09/02/2017 18:51

Mediation is a legal requirement before a court will consider hearing a case. Just Googled this!! Lots of info on there!!! If they haven't tried any form of contact since then I wouldn't be too worried. How old are the dc? Would they still know them?

Original poster
rickeys16v · 10/02/2017 07:14

10, 7 and 3 the older two dont want to have contact the younger i would doubt they would remember its been 18 months

OP posts:
wingingitmomma · 10/02/2017 07:33

Being a grandparent is a privalliage not a right. If your children don't want contact with them then this will be noted in mediation. Even if they were advised they could have some contact as far as the court is concerned ultimately it's up to you and your DH whether this actually goes through.
What grandparent would want to actually upset their GC by forcing them to spend time with them. They sound like a piece work I would LOVE to know what happened on this holiday. Sounds juicy.

Original poster
rickeys16v · 10/02/2017 08:06

she told me she didnt approve of us spending money the way we did and we had words basically i said they were our kids we would buy them what they wanted we saved long and hard and they dont get bought through the year. she never spoke after this. we are having to submit statements and the judge will look at them and decide it has caused so much upset

OP posts:
wingingitmomma · 10/02/2017 08:13

Wow she sounds like such a fun GM! Well done for speaking your mind it's a hard situation to be in. Sit down with your DH and write your statements together and get them in the last thing you want to do is look like you're not co operating. Explain that your DC do not want contact. They don't have any real legal rights. Not all GPs play an invaluable role. Have you tried to contact them since this summons to find out what they are even playing at?

KarmaNoMore · 10/02/2017 08:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tracey300884 · 10/02/2017 08:23

Karma Yes they do have rights?! Not sure what made you think that!

wingingitmomma · 10/02/2017 08:31

Grandparents do not have an automatic right to their grandchildren. A court does recognise the role but usually visitation is awarded IF it is in the child's best interest. OP has already stated her children do not wish to have contact with their grandparents so in this case they will not have any rights. The whole grandparent and their rights is usually for children who have been adopted (no legal rights at all) or when the grandparents are the parents of the parent who has passed away and then the spouse has legally adopted the child.

Pitapotamus · 10/02/2017 08:46

I looked into this once because I was worried about a similar thing. If you google you can find quite a lot of info. It's a while since I looked into it but my understanding / recollection was that they can't just take you to court, they have to get leave to take you to court and that's probably the stage you're at at the moment. If I were you I'd get legal advice for your response to what you've been sent so you can stop the whole thing in its tracks now rather than be dragged into court which would be more costly.

I think the grandparents rights are aimed at situations where grandparents have played a long term role in their grandchildren's life and have a strong bond and then the parents divorce / one dies and the other puts a stop to their relationship. It's also always determined in the best interests of the children. You can imagine in some situations where grandparents provide loads of childcare and take on a quasi parental role and then they suddenly fall out with the parents it would be very hard for children just to have no further contact.

It doesn't sound like you've actually told them they can't see the kids - they've just never asked since you fell out so I imagine a court case would be considered premature in any event.

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