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Original poster

Change at Christmas

28 replies

Lisa3578 · 21/08/2016 10:07

Hello,

I have two children to the same father and another younger to a different father. I currently have a court order where we hand over on boxing day but I want Christmas day as I don't want my youngest to miss out on Christmas day with the other two however the father of the other wont agree to this as they are with him this year. I am looking to take this back to court to get it changed.

Has anybody else had such luck?

Thank you

OP posts:
Heratnumber7 · 21/08/2016 10:12

Doesn't seem very fair on the kids' father or the DCs themselves. He is also entitled to Christmas day with hid own children, and they with him.

This is going to crop up every year - you should have thought about it before you had third child.

12purpleapples · 21/08/2016 10:20

Does he always have them on Christmas day or do you alternate years?

Tiggeryoubastard · 21/08/2016 10:20

^ what Herat said.

Original poster
Lisa3578 · 21/08/2016 10:26

they are alternated. I had them on Christmas day last year

OP posts:
notapizzaeater · 21/08/2016 10:28

Sorry but he has as much right to have his children in Xmas day

tribpot · 21/08/2016 10:30

Shame not to have them all together on baby's first Christmas but not the end of the world. Why not just celebrate Christmas on Boxing Day this year?

Tiggeryoubastard · 21/08/2016 10:34

So you had them last year, why the hell shouldn't he have his kids this year because of choices you've made? I can understand you'd miss them but you sound extremely selfish.

ThatsMyStapler · 21/08/2016 10:38

Have Christmas on Christmas Eve, they won't mind and then it's fair to the 2 older ones. Make Christmas day special with just you and youngest (and father if you are still together)

It's just a day, and will be as special as you make it.

I know this isn't in AIBU, but I think you would be very very unreasonable to try and get this changed, and unlikely to be successful

VimFuego101 · 21/08/2016 10:44

Just celebrate your Christmas Day on a different day. The baby won't know any different.

Original poster
Lisa3578 · 21/08/2016 10:51

the baby will nearly be 3

OP posts:
Titsalinabumsquash · 21/08/2016 10:53

Alternate Christmas is just part of a split family, their Dad has every right to have them on the day just like you did last year and will again next year.

Iguessyourestuckwithme · 21/08/2016 10:56

Yah totally unreasonable. Why should your children /father miss out on Christmas day together because you've had a 3rd child and now have to make access arrangements for a 2nd family

Temporaryanonymity · 21/08/2016 10:57

What arrangements do you have in place? My exH has my sons once a month and I'd find it incredibly difficult to agree to alternate Christmases as they wouldn't want to be away from home at such a special time. But if it's 50/50 then that's a different matter.

Original poster
Lisa3578 · 21/08/2016 10:59

Christmas is split half half

OP posts:
Original poster
Lisa3578 · 21/08/2016 11:02

each get 1 full week

OP posts:
VimFuego101 · 21/08/2016 11:02

A 3yo has no idea what day Christmas falls on. Just do it on Boxing Day instead.

ThatsMyStapler · 21/08/2016 11:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tribpot · 21/08/2016 11:49

So what is the court order you are seeking? That you have the kids every Christmas Day so that your youngest child doesn't miss out on Christmas with his/her siblings?

Lonecatwithkitten · 21/08/2016 11:50

As a single parent who also works on call on Alternate Christmas Days, Christmas really is the day you make it.
Of course we would all love to be with our children every Christmas, but in blended families that is never going to happen. Create a new special tradition for the years they are with you for new year that makes that time special in s different way.

Original poster
Lisa3578 · 21/08/2016 11:50

split Christmas day 50/50 and have hand over then

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 21/08/2016 11:53

Then he'll have Christmas with the other 2 when he's nearly 4.

What if their father had another child and didn't want them to miss out? Would you give up every Christmas?

ThatsMyStapler · 21/08/2016 11:56

well thats very strange, that was for another thread....? i'll report and ask to be removed..

please ignore my post above

tribpot · 21/08/2016 12:02

But you already split Christmas Day 50/50. I take it you want to do handover on the day so that you see them for part of every Christmas Day (either in the morning before the handover or in the evening after the dropoff) but that restricts his choices about how and where to spend Christmas with his kids.

As Lonecat says, this is just the reality of blended families. We had a complicated arrangement that had to be co-ordinated across three households that involved celebrating Christmas twice every year, once on the day and once around New Year. That's just how it goes.

IzzyIsBusy · 21/08/2016 12:09

You are being unfair.
You had Christmas last year and now its dads turn.

If you do go to court i hope the ruling is that it stays as it is as that is fair.

Eazypeazy · 14/11/2016 16:11

I am in a similar situation,as in I'm a father and the mother is trying to change things round in her favour. I am at a loss of what to do!!