is there hope?

[GeorgiaT2468]

Hi guys,

Lots to my story so il get straight to my question and give details after if you need them to help advise me.

Question: can my partner adopt my son legally without my ex's consent? Xx

Yes by going to court, and the court agreeing to it. I think they'd agree if your ex wasn't part of your DS's life, but unlikely if he is, or is trying to be. Or alternatively if you can't find your ex and can prove you've tried you can get it.

Ok.. Well almost 3 years ago I had to report my ex and his partner to the police and social services after my son came home with chest bruising. After an investigation process no one was prosecuted, although they believed something happened they had no evidence it was them and although my son said they hurt him he was classed as an unreliable witness!!

I told them any future contact would be supervised at the very least especially after they told the police they all smack my son when he's "naughty".

They told me to EFF off and refused any contact at all.. Which suited us very well!! Bunch of child abusers have no space in my sons life!!

It's been almost 3 years and no contact despite the fact they know where we live.

I want to move my son on in his life officially and have my partner adopt him because he's been there his whole life and my son adores him!!

Xx

Do you think I'd have a chance and does anyone know if they will contact my ex during court ect to ask him if he wants to be involved? Xx

I don't know much about it to be honest. I'm fairly sure they'd ask your ex for his views, even if they went on to overrule them. He can't have his son adopted without knowing about it, no matter how crap a father he has been.

I need to do some investigating really don't I xx

I think you do.

There is also an option of your DP getting parental responsibility for your DS - which he could have alongside your ex (and you) still having it. But I'm not sure whether you have to be married to have that or not. Best ask a solicitor, or someone who knows more than me.

Yes, they will contact your Ex as he will have to consent to the adoption.

Here are the basic scenarios:

If you know where the father is; he must be served notice and consent or must be ruled an unfit parent and have his parental rights terminated. Simply being uninvolved doesn't constitute lack of fitness.

If you do NOT know where the father is; you must sign a legal statement saying you have no idea where he is AND no way to trace him (i.e., via family members or friends who might know where he is). You must send a legal notice to his last known address as well as publishing a legal notice of the proposed adoption in a newspaper in his last known area.

I think you need to consider the likelihood of whether or not he'll demand access if he knows you're trying to have your partner adopt. You'd also lose any maintenance you are receiving but that's also a bargaining chip (consent and you won't have to pay).

Here's another thing. Had a friend who adopted a stepchild. That didn't stop the child's mother from contacting the child a few years later.

Oh I see.. Thank you very informative.

Do you know at what age a child has the right to say they do not want to see a parent? Without them being encouraged and having people like mediators involved ect.. Xx

Thanks purple I will ask about that no thank you very much xx

I'm not sure there's an actual legal age per se or legal right to say 'no' but I believe that at age 12 a child's wishes are heavily taken into consideration by the judge. Of course that's barring any 'coercion' for the child to say he/she doesn't want to see the parent.

There is also an option of your DP getting parental responsibility for your DS

You partner cannot get PR unless you marry him. If your ex has PR, e.g. through being named on the birth certificate, his consent would be needed for your partner to get PR.