contact agreement

[daughterlovingdaddy]

Hi everyone,

I was on a few months ago about my daughter being at my ex house and coming home to me smelling of smoke, hygiene didn't exist,tatty hair etc.

I finally took the step and applied for full residency 2 days ago. Now her mum has told her solicitor that my lg goes to her house with cuts and bruises and she has stopped me seeing lg.

We have a contact agreement through solicitors signed and sealed. Can I do anything about it or will it just have to go to court? I'm numb

A voluntary agreement isn't binding so you will need to go through the courts. Unfortunately court applications tend to cause resentment and resistance and are best avoided if possible. Did you try mediation first?

Sometimes a parent is struggling financially and coping with children on their own and the best way to look out for children is to support the parent in their parenting rather than be critical of them.

Courts are well used to allegations and counter allegations but unless there is independent evidence children aren't surviving satisfactorily a judge will have difficulty choosing between two versions of events. If your daughter is at nursery or school have the staff raised any concerns?

Thank you for the reply. We haven't tried mediation because we had trouble even signing this contact agreement last year and there is just no talking so legal proceedings are beginning today.

Yes I understand but lg mother has been caught out lying again and again. Financially I have offered to go through child maintenance but lg mother has declined on few occasions,I have been supplying nappies wipes and clothes and food etc yea mother can go get tattoos and out few times a week with her friends drinking.

Shared residence at the moment but I have lg 2 hours more.

That's why this has kicked off, I have my daughters best interest at heart viewing nurseries and getting information I need but lg mother has done nothing bar wait hand and foot for me to provide information. It's a long story involving so many more factors as to why I want full residency,I don't want no hate because people will assume I'm being nasty etc

I wouldn't worry too much about who does what. All that really matters for your child is one parent does it. In some ways it's better to find the information yourself rather than both parents finding it then arguing about it.

There's a cliche that everyone lies in family cases. That is an exaggeration but a separated couple's perceptions of events can be very different, a bit like two people watching a film together and interpreting the story differently.

It's a bit of a struggle changing the status quo unless there is independent evidence a child isn't surviving satisfactorily. If your daughter hasn't started nursery yet has the the health visitor any concerns?

Assuming you have a solicitor as you were sharing care roughly 50:50 it would be a good idea to have a word with them if your ex acts unilaterally and stops contact. With abridged notice your case can be heard more quickly. Otherwise you may be disadvantaged if a new status quo is deemed to have been established, it could be confusing to your child to change back.