Gone away without letting me know.

[littlemissminime]

Ex has once again taken our DC away on holiday without the decency of letting me know....AGAIN. DC is absent from school....AGAIN.
All the while we have a child contact court case pending where hes going for "full residense" (as he puts it) of our other DC, so he goes away, doesnt tell me, doesnt even invite other DC and he expects them to go with with him!
To say Im raging is an understatment. Anyone know where I stand in court at the next hearing with this one?

If you both have PR he has to get your permission.

I'd file a urgent petition to the court stating he's taken your children out of school and the country without letting you know. I'd be so worried!

I wouldn't wait for the next court hearing. I can't imagine the court being pleased that he's just taken them away. I'd also phone the passport office and ask them to put a note on the DC's passport to say you have to be contacted if he tries to take them away and a note has to be given.

GL

Does the child concerned normally live with him? Has he gone out of the country?

If you both have PR he has to get your permission.

That is only true if he has gone out of the country. If he has taken the child for a holiday within the UK he does not need permission.

Lives with him (by choice not court order) and out of the country. Wouldnt mind he sat there the a few weeks back and blatantly hard faced said he was going away in front of SW and when I asked for details REFUSED them! Didnt know I could ring the passport office - Im on it, thank you.
Do I bring it up at the next hearing? I expect it will be going in the CAFCASS report anyway, will they put something like that in?

I think you need to be careful. Unless there is a residence order or child arrangement order in favour of one parent stipulating the child lives with that parent, strictly speaking consent from all those with Parental Responsibllity or permission is required from the courts to take a child abroad. However consent isn't required if it's unreasonably withheld. The courts usually regard enjoying the usual family holidays with a parent for one or two weeks a couple of times a year as being in the best interests of children so they may consider it unreasonable for you to object to the holiday.

Personally I wouldn't take children on holiday during school term but there differences in parenting and many parents do holiday in term time because it saves money which they think can be used to benefit the family in other ways. Or perhaps othey believe missing school isn't that important because the children are educated first hand about different cultures, languages etc. With many parenting issues there is often no black and white, just parents with different attitudes doing different things. Like parents individual judges and CACASS officers have different attitudes and it isn't at all uncommon for the court's permission to take children aboard during term time to be granted.

However if children are regularly absent from school whilst in your ex's care the issue can be raised in court proceedings. And it would be reasonable to ask for conditions for future holidays to be attached to the final child arrangement agreement/ order so everyone knows where the, stand. Eg conditions could be that both parents can take the children abroad during certain times, details of travel arrangements and where children are sleeping should be passed to the other parent and passports exchanged a specified number of weeks in advance.

Id raise it. It's not benefitting all of your kids when he's leaving one behind, it's not benefiting your DC being taken out of school for a holiday.

I'd raise it with the court you should be giving you details of where he's going, duration etc. so you can make sure he lands/arrives back safely. Especially since yesterday! For all you know he could of been on the Malaysian flight and you wouldn't know because he's just upped and gone.

That's not on OP

I certainly dont want to stop his holiday, I just feel its reasonable to know when hes out of the country and yes croc, like you say, especially after yesterday. Im sick of having to cover his arse to other DC about where he is, we were supposed to be meeting up with DC who lives with EX tonight, other DC knows this, now Im having to make shit excuses as to why we arent and once again Im gonna get it in the neck....sick to death of it.
I'll certainly be raising the issue in court, its not fair on either child, one feels neglected and left out and one feels guilty that hes gone and the others left - sickening.
Ive contacted the passport offioce, they re going to see what they can do, doesnt look hopeful but thy did take all mine and DC details so we'll see what happens, due to call me back soon.

Did they call you back?

I'd be upset with him too in fact outraged. I'd make a big point of it at court as well..

Could you get your younger DC to write how he feels when this happens? Give a copy to dad maybe send recorded delivery so you have proof and then take one to the court?

They didn't ring me back no, however I got a very late night message from dc who lives with him askin did I wanna meet up today!? Turns out he hasn't gone !!
How can you sit in a child protection meeting with officials and say you're away on holiday and blateny lie!?

Keep the text Littlemisminime That's absolutely horrid!! Would he of done this because he knew you would worry? I'd raise it with CAFCASS as well as the court!

Course, either that or because we were trying to arrange contact, he clearly doesn't want the kids he just wants to get at me, despite going to court for full residence he still sat and made piss poor excuses as to why he couldn't have them! Pathetic. Only got a directions hearing coming up so I imagine I won't get to bring it up but no doubt once I mention to SW it will go in the section 7, it's just unbelievable the crap he comes out with. I used to sit and laugh but I'm actually worried for his state of min now, sick in the head!

At the directions hearing can't you list the reasons why you disagree to him wanting full custody. If so I'd list it there

Not sure?! Can I? To be honest I'm just waiting for te section 7 and then I'm seeing my solicitor. Up to now I hate had legal representation however if the section 7 mentions domestic abuse my solicitor will come with me as I'll qualify for legal aid. I've no idea how it works at the hearings although I'm pretty confident the section 7 will have all this info in it, as I said, he has done it before. Fingers crossed eh!

I have got legal aid due to domestic abuse so I get a barrister

You'll have to give reasons why you disagree to your Ex having full custody and that is something I'd defiantly include it and say something like "You're ex has previously refused contact on the basis he's taking DC's away, he's left the other DC at home, refused to provide you with important details regarding flights, location etc and then your DS told you he never went away in the first place. You're worried about the effect it's having on your DC and they've expressed concern, How old is your DC who lives with you? They may take his opinion into account as well.

Start making a list of the reasons you feel he shouldn't have your DC full time and your solicitor will help you write it all up

Passport office just rang (Sunday!) nothing they can do, they said it would be a border control issue? But he doubts they would so anything either, suggested maybe contact the police, I did that last time, whilst they were sympathetic, cause i only wanted flight details etc they would be breaching data protection and couldn't give me any info.....roll on court that's all I can say.

That's not the news I wanted to hear!
Will the put a block on him trying to get new passports for your other DC's? They did on my DC so it can be done.

When are you due in court? I wish you all the luck!

He's refused to give me the other dcs passport so I have to declare it lost and apply for new. Suppose I could cancel the other but then it's be me that would end up in trouble since it's not actually lost! Nightmare. No long till court.

I'd do it for all you know it is lost as you don't know where it is !

I hope things improve