Contact with non-resident parent

[huskymum27]

Someone PLEASE help me

My daughter is 6 (7 in January) & 12 weeks ago started seeing her dad unsupervised every 2 weeks (3 sessions at 3 hours, 3 sessions at 4)

She came back a few times with unexplained bruises & was reluctant to say where they had come from, her behaviour also changed-she became angry, reclusive, stopped eating, wouldn't bath/shower etc etc & I took her to the GP who referred to social services

Social services came out once, for 3 hours, I heard nothing else from them & the case was closed.

Today I have had the CAFCASS report for court tomorrow saying that contact has to change from 4 hours to THREE DAYS!!! Am I the only person who thinks this is unreasonable?? She also wrote in the report that Social services have said I am emotionally harming my daughter (which is her belief) I have called Social Services who blatantly said "if we believed you were harming your child the case would not have been closed so everything is fine" so she has LIED in the report & based on those lies has said that a change in residency may be appropriate!!

She has also said I am "making up" the things my daughter does because she has seen nothing to imply my daughter is unhappy (she saw her once for around 1 hour) but then said it is my "emotional abuse" which is causing my daughter to be unhappy so she is contradicting herself constantly!

I'm at my wits end, I should be able to raise concerns (e.g. coming back with bruising, being withdrawn, the fact that her father has allowed her to have lunch TWICE in the 6 contact sessions) without being accused of "emotionally harming" my daughter

I don't know what to do! Surely anyone can see that a child going from 4 hours contact to 3 days is absolutely unreasonable!

Any advice please :(

what is the abck story?
was it supervised previously? if so why?

why did she continue to go to see him after your concerns?

presumably this is ongoing court case?
was thhere a court order for contact?

4 hours contact every two weeks is very little - so not a big leap to go up to three days per two weeks if no concerns.

however - you need to raise the concernes and also stop contact if she has bruises etc. what does your solicitor say?

Contact stopped between my daughter & her dad when she was around 2 years as she was coming back being very violent towards me & telling me that he was telling her to do it & saying he was going to take her away & she would never see me again & I didnt love her

around 1 year ago contact restarted supervised, 12 weeks ago it went unsupervised

I was told that I had no rights to stop contact when she had bruises, I raised my concerns & I was told that if I cancelled contact then I would be sent to prison or I would lose custody of my daughter.

I have also been told that the fact he does not allow her to eat is "of no concern" & he "has to learn for himself that he needs to feed her & it is demoralising of me to say he is neglectful of her because he does not allow her to eat"

Sorry, yes there is a court order in place

who told you that?
a judge or him?

you can put forward to a judge "reasonable excuse" for why you stopped contact.

then judge will decide if brusiing etc is reasonable...

if it is only four hours then not feeding her for that time might not be a big issue.

she could eat before and after.

It was CAFCASS who told me that, I sent her with lunches but he still wouldn't allow her to eat them, been to court today & judge said 3 days was too much from 4 hours in light of everything that's happened so a review at the end of March of all day contact,see what happens with food, bruises etc but CAFCASS are no longer involved so if anything un-towards happens again then its straight back to court