Clean Break order - please help

[Saycheeseyou3]

Just looking for abit of advice please
So long story short -
Ex and split nearly 2 years ago. Divorce came through in the summer. 3 kids all under 7, all his.
No assets between us. I moved out of rented property into another. He left and moved in other womans mortgaged property.
He earns approx. £1200 a month and pays via CSA. (Now up to date)

I put in for a clean break with my solicitor (who I can no longer afford.)
because I am not interested in ex's money, and should I ever win the lotto (haha) I am not sharing it with them two! No, in all seriousness I don't want anything from him, he pays for his kids - that's fair.

The judge has deferred the order as Ex is now in a Mortgaged property (Not his though, his ow and her first ex husbands) and because we have 3 young children, the Judge feels it should be kept open incase he starts earning more, and I don't - and incase I need help.

Ex is only just beginning to see the kids (sorting between us but still in Court) and I am worried its going to mess this up. What can I do now?

You can go to court and tell the judge the reasons you want a clean break. He or she may talk you through the implications and if satisfied you understand them, make the clean break order you both want. Or he or she may say "despite what you say this court doesn't think a clean break order is just in all the circumstances" and refuse to approve the order. Now, you can agree whatever you like between yourselves - but until it is approved by the court nothing is final and either of you could reopen all of the issues at any time down the road. So you really do need a court approved order.

I think if the judge won't give you a clean break then maybe he or she probably has good reasons which they will tell you. They will probably make an order for £1 a year periodical payments from H to you - that gives you the possibility of you going back and getting it varied to £10k pa or whatever.

But just think what will you feel in 2 years time if H marries the new woman, gets a great job and ends up living in a mortgage free house owned with his new wife- while you are unemployed, recovering from breast cancer for example. Won't you perhaps want some maintenance? You have three small kids to consider...

The £1 periodical payment I don't think ex and his gf will agree to. I also think they then wouldn't marry, to stop me making a claim on their assets. She earns double what he does and gets other money for her child.
Although shes the other Woman, I get the feeling she thinks I am the problem and that I owe her from things ex has said. She has pushed him to spite me at any stage she's gotten. Well I might be abit wrong there, but when I speak to him alone he doesn't seem to be the spiteful nasty and vindictive person he sounds when he is emailing me with her.

I have a feeling its going to get nasty, drag out, and that they are going to think I am after his money.

I hadn't thought about that possibility - but any assets shes got that's not in his name I won't be able to make a claim on will I? They are very clever and I think it will all just go in her name tbh.

Well the OW could be run over by a bus, leave everything to your ex while you are made redundant and struggling on benefits....

Thank you for the replies.
I doubt he will agree to anything, and I can see it being left wide open :(

Your ex and his girlfriend don't have to agree for the court to make an order. And if he puts all his assets into her name to try and stop you getting a decent settlement the court will simply disregard those transfers and regard the assets as still being his.

TBH, it's a paper exercise & if both of you are adamant that you want a clean break then that is what you will get. You are not talking mega bucks here. £1,200 a month is peanuts so it's unlikely you would ever get more than CSA, plus you would have to apply for a variation order which relies on your ex being upfront about money.

Saycheeseyou3 - it sounds as if you would rather get shot of him than retain any chance of getting any money in the future. If this is the case, go ahead but the advice is right - get a "nominal periodical payments order" which is £1 a month and keep your options open. Clean breaks are great where there are assets to split or no assets but no kids too. You sound articulate, sensible and very together. Represent yourself if you can no longer afford a Solicitor. Get a friend to be at Court with you. They can sit next to you. They are called MacKenzie Friends. You can even get ones with legal experience to whom you pay a set amount to attend and you can say to the Judge "your honour, may I have a moment to talk to my Friend". Most Family Judges in this country are brilliant and the ones at the main London Court are second to none. They have seen it all and frankly, our Court system is the envy of the world because of the Judges. I know I sound like I love Judges but the fact is that they are that good. So finally, I agree with the advice that you have received and I would suggest that you have a little more faith in yourself because it sounds like you are enviably strong.

Just to me clear. I am not a Judge! Nor am I likely to become one.