Am I doing the right thing?!

[lucyfluff]

Any helpful advice would be appreciated please!!!

Background info - ex partner of 2 children had previous DV/contact orders/non-molestation orders. Hasn't seen the children since sept2011 or paid maintenance since June 2010.

He arrived on my doorstep yesterday wanting to see them (I am now married with a 3rd ds) and thought he didn't know my current address!! My husband dealt with the situation and told them we would allow possible contact after drafting terms through a solicitor so they can agree to them.

What I would like to know is: what shall I include in these terms? If they are breached do I automatically stop contact? Should I ask them to pay half costs? I know maintenance is irrelevant to contact but could it be included?

Thankyou x

Bump

Probably the reluctance of people to respond is due to the fact that without knowing your children or the family dynamics no one can possibly suggest what is right for your children.

Take in to account their ages, and make sure that any contact they have is safe.

Not sure what costs you're asking him to pay. Generally the answer is that you each pay your own solicitor's costs.

Have you thought about mediation?

You could talk there about maintenance as well. CSA is the way to go though.

Thanks collaborate, you are right I guess no one can suggest what to do to an extent!!

I have been thinking about it and will suggest contact starts with a few hours due to 8 yr old reluctance/anxiety.

Ex can not afford solicitor but has stated he will pay towards any costs we have in drawing up a contract?! Helpful NOT considering he's paid no maintenance through CSA for three yrs.....