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Original poster

Parental rights question... Please advise

15 replies

JennyC80 · 08/04/2013 06:31

Hello, I'm 6 month pregnant and in the relationship. I have recently discovered that my partner had said to someone that he will take me to court over parental rights if we split up... I wasn't even thinking about splitting up but couldn't get any descent explanation from my partner when I asked him about what he said... Well, it did end up as a bit of an argument during which he said he will allow me to see my child as fathers have exactly same rights as mothers... I'm so worried now... All I wanted is to have a family but instead I
feel used and rather scared... I know ( and pray) it won't come to that situation but if it does what shall I do? Please please advise! Thank you xx

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 08/04/2013 11:35

It is not parental rights. It is parental responsibilities.

PR does not give him the right to dictate whether or not you can see your child. It simply gives him the right to be consulted on certain matters - your child's education, religion, name, medical treatment, etc. It also means you would need his consent if you want to take your child abroad.

fubbsy · 08/04/2013 12:05

Here is some basic info about parental responsibilty What is parental responsibilty?

Xenia · 08/04/2013 12:48

I would certainly recommend returning to full time work when the baby arrives and part of his responsibility can be paying 50% of the cost of a daily nanny.

lostdad · 08/04/2013 13:07

As prh47bridge says it is Parental Responsibility' not Parental Rights'. The latter doesn't exist in law.

I would strongly recommend you try mediation and avoid court like the plague. Google `National Family Mediation' and give the nearest branch for a call. They'll talk you through the process.

Have to say I am a little surprised by Xenia's post. Surely the OP's father has a duty to provide care for the child's father as much as he has a duty to provide financially?

Seems a circular argument - he can go to work to pay for a nanny and he can pay for a nanny by going to work. Surely it's better for the child to actually play a significant part in his son/daughter's life rather than assuming a stranger will do it??? Confused

Either way Jenny...in law you can't have rights over a child that isn't born! But try try try to sort this out amicably, eh - even if he's being a dick!

Original poster
JennyC80 · 08/04/2013 17:26

Thank you all so much! Xx

OP posts:
seriouslychocolatey · 08/04/2013 19:04

it is not true to say parents have no rights. As an example parents have a right to be kept informed about their child's education and all parents have a right to family life. The child's welfare is however always paramount and will 'trump' any rights their parent has if it comes to that- think of cases where a parent has refused medical treatment for their child and in court it has been ordered to go ahead. Generally parents have responsibilities and for court purposes both parents should always be looking at it from that point of view. In this case your partner is referring to PR. Maybe he knows of someone who had a very bad experience after splitting up from their child's mother? Horrendous things happen and it can take years for a parent to slog through court and get decent contact. Sounds like he is very stressed. If things are not going well try mediation and avoid the court like the plague. Children really need to see their parents get on, makes everything so much better for everyone concerned.

babybarrister · 08/04/2013 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

raspberryroop · 08/04/2013 22:14

EBF !

clabsyqueen · 08/04/2013 22:19

Sounds like your man is feeling a little bit out of control. It's easy to forget that men can go loopy too during pregnancy! I'm sure you'll have no need to use all the good advice you've been given by the other ladies.

Original poster
JennyC80 · 10/04/2013 05:32

Thanks again! Hopefully I won't need to use any of the advises but want to be prepared just in case...

OP posts:
WhoWhatWhereWhen · 10/04/2013 06:00

I know neither you nor anyone else has actually said don't put him on the birth certificate.

If for whatever reason you don't, I think most men would feel very vulnerable by such an action almost as if the mother is trying to deliberately diminish his value.

Original poster
JennyC80 · 10/04/2013 17:35

His name will be on certificate. Don't see any point of not doing that as knowing him he will go to courts to get right for paternity test etc so one way or another he will have his name on it...

OP posts:
LIZS · 10/04/2013 17:39

If you aren't married you would need to register the birth together.

IneedAsockamnesty · 12/04/2013 00:36

By saying he will let you see the baby,is he implying he will take the baby away from you?

If so your seriously intending on him having automatic pr? Why make it easy for him.

Is he in a position to take you to court? Financially I mean given that legal aid is now not available for this type of thing?

Hansard · 19/04/2013 23:27

If he is named on the birth certificate then he will have automatic legal rights. If not then he can apply for parental rights and access. For him to do this he must provide DNA evidence to prove that he is the biological father of your child. The courts will do what is best for the child not the parents and if your ex can prove that he has made an effort to be a father to the child then he may be successful. It might be better to work something out between you as it is your baby whose welfare is paramount.

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