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Legal matters

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Original poster

Child support advice pls

9 replies

FrankenFranny · 03/02/2013 07:04

My ex is "self employed".
He has only declared that he earns £140 per week and this is the figure The CSA have got from the Inland Revenue, so they are sticking with this figure.
I tried disputing this but I needed evidence which I didn't have, I just know he's lying because he has dodged paying for years and he is very dishonest.
Last night my teen son told me (quite innocently) that his dad now DJ's every other weekend at a pub and gets paid anything between £100-£300 per night. (He loves to boast).
Should I report to the CSA? How do I prove it?
Also my son will get bollocked by his dad for giving me this info, he doesn't communicate with me , he's very secretive and I don't want to break my sons trust in telling me things.
He keeps getting away with this stuff.
He got given a car by a relative (who he works for) so he didn't have to declare any pay rise.
He lives in a big house and I just know he can afford more than £12 per week.
He has a daughter who he will be paying for very soon.

Sorry I wasn't sure where to post this.
Any advice will be great.

OP posts:

RedHelenB · 03/02/2013 09:10

Hard to prove as you have discovered. Unless his lifestyle is wildly at odds with what he declares then the CSA won't do anything. HMRC might be interested in the dj situation though!!!

kittycat68 · 03/02/2013 10:51

there are alot of PWC in exactly the same situation as yourself. You can contact the csa and tell them his lifestyle is inconsistant with his income but without any hard eveidence they will do nothing. you have to wait for them to refuse the apllication then appeal to tribunal. tribunal will then ask for copies of bank accounts etc. this is quite a long winded process though and can take several years to get the case heard as they have a big backlog and NRP will use every trick in the book to avoid the hearing by changing venues or hearing dates etc. even then there is no guarntee that they will rule in your favour however it will upset your ex :) and casue him alot of agro!!. the down side is with the child in the middle this causes stress if one parent informs them of whats going on etc.
while its frustrating for PWC not to receive adeqaute child support there seems to be a custom in this country of NRP getting away with little support for there children and its unlikely to change with all the Fathers for justice groups telling fathers how not to pay child support to get back at there ex.

Original poster

FrankenFranny · 03/02/2013 21:00

Thanks.
It seems that everything the CSA have done is to benefit the ex and not my son. They are more worried about his rights than my son's needs.
So unfair.
He seems to know every trick in the book but doesn't have the intelligence

to see that he is short changing his son (that he would do anything for apparently). He just hates paying me.
I'll have to have a rethink.

OP posts:

mademred · 04/02/2013 16:00

We are in the same situation as you, only my ex won't pay for three children because he's too busy paying foe his tarts kids, who she gets maintenance for .have been chasing the csa for years now, he's put his vehicle in someone elses name to avoid paying.im seeing a solicitor Friday to see if I can take him to court.

babybarrister · 04/02/2013 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Zigzagwanderer · 05/02/2013 22:54

Mademred good luck, it's so unfair.
I got a letter today saying my payments were being doubled, it's a start but still not enough.
It still bothers me that he can choose when to pay and how much.
I don't get it, why do they pay less because they live with children who are getting child support from their NRP? I think that shouldn't be allowed!

toosoppyforwords · 06/02/2013 09:56

I agree he should pay for his son and i hope you manage to get the CSA to support you in this.
However, in the meantime, i wondered whether he may be more likely to perhaps pay money into a bank account in your sons name (maybe one that can only be accessed at 18 or something)? While that doesn't help in the interim in terms of general cost of living, it would at least show willing that he is giving his son something! It seems more that he doesn't want to give money to you and might go a little way to alleviating some of your despair that he is not contributing to your son?

Collaborate · 06/02/2013 10:42

Child maintenance that is only accessable when the child reaches 18 is not maintenance in any sense of the word.

toosoppyforwords · 06/02/2013 14:50

I know and i'm not suggesting it is. However, he is clearly doing all he can to minimise what he has to pay in maintenance - if the CSA say they cannot do anything about that (have no idea what they can and can;t do) i just wondered whether the OP could at least get money for her son's future paid into an account, i.e. if the father would be 'more willing' to hand over his cash if he knew mum couldn;t get it. Just a thought that's all. Its not ideal but at least something is better than nothing

I agree that the OP is due maintenance and in an ideal world he would pay up and provide for his son, but he clearly doesn't seem to want to do that without a fight with the OP and CSA.

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