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Original poster

Need urgent advice please

63 replies

aluvss · 28/01/2013 12:50

Yesterday night my BIL?s wife called the police and left the house with their daughter aged 2. She called the police whilst they where arguing, she told them that he had hit her and her daughter. The police came and took her and her daughter. The y did not leave anything with my BIL. We have no idea where they are and we have no clue on what to do, would really appreciate some help and advice. Thank you.

OP posts:
courtsareadisgrace · 28/01/2013 12:52

So your BIL is a violent abuser who has been violent towards his wife and daughter. The police have removed them to a place of safety and not told the violent abuser or his family where this is.

What exactly do you want?

Daddelion · 28/01/2013 13:01

Where does it say he was violent?

courtsareadisgrace · 28/01/2013 13:03

It says he hit his wife and daughter. I'd call that violent?

Original poster
aluvss · 28/01/2013 13:04

He did not hit her, my husband and my MIL were there at the time. She made the accusation that he hit her but he did not.

OP posts:
courtsareadisgrace · 28/01/2013 13:06

Do your SIL and BIL live with you?

If your SIL was removed by the police (presumably to a place of safety with her 2 year old) it must have been a humdinger of an argument. Usually the man would be asked to leave.

Original poster
aluvss · 28/01/2013 13:09

Yes, they live in my MIL's house.

OP posts:
courtsareadisgrace · 28/01/2013 13:09

oh that poor girl. homeless with a baby.

What exactly do you want advice on?

Original poster
aluvss · 28/01/2013 13:12

How my BIL can find out where his daughter is and what he can do to get her back.

OP posts:
courtsareadisgrace · 28/01/2013 13:13

I am sorry but I am incredibly shocked at the fact that you want a baby returned to someone who has driven a mother and young child out of their home.

I assume, since the police were involved, that Social Services will now be taking an interest. Perhaps your BIL could contact them or the police?

mumblechum1 · 28/01/2013 13:14

The chances are that =:

  1. The police will arrest him, and then bail him with conditions attached not to return to the house until the matter's been dealt with one way or another
  1. She'll get a solicitor to apply for a non-molestation injunction (so he doesn't assault, threaten or harrass her, usually for a year) and probably also an occupation order to force him out.

Whether either of these things happen depend on whether the courts believe the wife.

mumblechum1 · 28/01/2013 13:15

The wife/mum will probably be housed in a refuge until it is safe for her to go back to the house.

Actually,just realised they don't have their own home so the occupation order bit won't work.

courtsareadisgrace · 28/01/2013 13:16

mumblechum1 will the do 1 even though it's MIL house?

courtsareadisgrace · 28/01/2013 13:18

I just cannot understand how the OP would think that the police would remove a young child and mother from their home after a row, and "leave something" with the other party to the (potentially violent) argument - what? Telling the BIL where they took them? That wouldn't be very sensible of the police now, would it?

Original poster
aluvss · 28/01/2013 13:20

The police have not arrested him, is there anything he can do to get to see his daughter.

OP posts:
Original poster
aluvss · 28/01/2013 13:23

As I stated before he did not hit her, she phoned the police and made that accusation when she realised things weren't going her way in the arguement.

OP posts:
PureQuintessence · 28/01/2013 13:24

Has he hit her in the past?

courtsareadisgrace · 28/01/2013 13:24

I said (potentially violent) in brackets because that's what the police were told and it must have been a pretty heated argument for them to lift her and the toddler and take them away.

Why can't he ring the police? Or Social Services? I suspect it may also be helpful for him to talk to a solicitor.

Original poster
aluvss · 28/01/2013 13:24

And she has phoned the police before during an arguement and the police left a card with my BIL to contact them for information, that's why I thought they would leave something.

OP posts:
PureQuintessence · 28/01/2013 13:25

Do you know what the argument was about?

courtsareadisgrace · 28/01/2013 13:26

Well, surely he can look up the number of the local police station and ring it?

Original poster
aluvss · 28/01/2013 13:26

No, he has never hit her. I will get him to contact police and social services. Thanks

OP posts:
PureQuintessence · 28/01/2013 13:26

Poor woman, she must have felt really desperate, and ganged up upon, by all her husbands family.

Do you have no empathy for her?

courtsareadisgrace · 28/01/2013 13:27

Seems to me that that poor woman has a set of very interfering in-laws.

What about leaving it to her and your BIL to sort out?

Original poster
aluvss · 28/01/2013 13:28

Yes, they want to split up so my DH went there yesterday to sort everything out, but she wants to take her daughter abroad where as my BIL doesn't want that. She wants him to pay for her and the child to go abroad.

OP posts:
courtsareadisgrace · 28/01/2013 13:30

My advice to you is step away and let them sort it out themselves.

God that woman must feel so so under attack. MIL BIL DH and uncle tom cobley and all off the family against just her.

Unfuckingbelievable.

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