Preventing access what else can a father do....

[GregBishopsBottomBitch]

Im posting on behalf of friends DB, he has a nearly 18 month old son, him and the mother, split before the baby was born, and from a long time led him to believe he wasnt the father, since birth he has accepted he is the father, as she confessed she has lied.

She has repeatedly made it difficult for him to get access, refused mediation and ignored solicitors, he has been to court 3 times, first time he got 2 hours in a contact centre, second 2 hours at her house, 3rd time 2 hours to take him out and 3 hours at her house, hes been to parenting classes and has done what the courts have asked.

He pays maintenance, has PR, although hes not on the B/C. It seems after his refusal to get back with her, she seems to be very aggressive towards him, now wants to stop access, and has been less than kind to his family.

What else can he do to ensure access to his DS is maintained.

This is such a difficult situation I am afraid as I think the only real resolution in cases of implacable hostility is to change the chlld's residence - and of course there are huge problems with doing that when a child is well settled with one primary carer (who probably is not being remotely supportive of the non resident parent).

So I am afraid the situation looks bleak if one parent is absolutely determined to behave like a shit and the non resident parent hasn't already been given the opportunity to build up a proper relationship so that a change of residence is a reasonable prospect.

All I can suggest is that he keeps trying. Court orders are meant to be obeyed and there does seem to be a trend of judges coming down harder on parents who flout them for no good reason. but he may have to grit his teeth for a long hard slog. Keep the moral high ground, keep reasonable, keep saying you would be open to mediation/discussion, don't meet aggression with aggression or game playing.

The court can fine people, tell them to go on certain activities or even imprison them for really serious repeated breaches - but you can see that is likely to be counterproductive when dealing with the mother of a small child.

It is a desparately sad situation because frankly it is not a legal one, it is about the emotions, hurt, immaturity whatever of the adult parties. A child needs to know both his mother and father and any parent who stands in the way of this with no good reason is by definition a damaged and damaging person. And you can see that the law is a very blunt instrument to deal with this.