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Original poster

Told h we were divorcing last night, he's taken car keys and I need help re what are my rights

73 replies

Netcurtainstwitching · 27/08/2012 13:35

Long story short...

He has threatened to hit me once
Burned mine and the childrens possesions on two occasions
Spoken to me in a way that made me feel threatened/not safe a number of times over past few months.

I'm not whiter than white, he doesn't like the lack of housework, the tea not being on the table when he comes in, my pets, lack of disapline with the children (his opinion). Hes a real catch!

So asked to separate on 21 june...he refused to move out. I told him I was sorry last night but we were going to get a divorce.

Today he has taken the car keys. Slight problem as we live in a village. School is by car to next village. I did ring and check with him (incase they had dropped somewhere or were in his pocket) he has taken them as he cannot afford for me to run the car in the future so I may as well get used to not having one. And he needs to talk to me tonight about other things too.

Now I have seen a solicitor a couple of weeks ago, she doesn't do legal aid. I am not on benefits yet, he earns a lot of money (which he keeps in a savings acct only he has access too). I get housekeeping once a month for all bills and food etc just not the car.

We own the house.

There is nothing I can do is there? Just wait for the outcome of the financial side of the divorce?

Worried he will empty his account of savings. I do have photocopies of current bank statements of our savings. Anything else I can do to protect financial assets?

Any help appriciated

TIA

OP posts:
Original poster
Netcurtainstwitching · 27/08/2012 13:36

Sorry for spelling errors, bit jittery after speaking to him...

OP posts:
JuliaScurr · 27/08/2012 13:40

Keep calm, op
rightsofwomen.org
might take a while to answer phone.

make sure he can't empty bank account
good luck!

wine

JuliaScurr · 27/08/2012 13:41

I mean Wine

BlackberryIce · 27/08/2012 13:42

Is the car his?

HissyByName · 27/08/2012 13:42

Where is the car?

Could you call the AA/RAC/MEchanic and get a new key/barrel mechanism fitted?

those savings will be half yours when you divorce. Get legal advice pronto, get onto entitledto.co.uk and see what benefits you are entitled to.

Original poster
Netcurtainstwitching · 27/08/2012 13:42

How do I make sure he doesn't empty bank account? Its not in my name...

OP posts:
Original poster
Netcurtainstwitching · 27/08/2012 13:49

Have wine. Wink

Car in his name. I'm named on insurance. Car is open (cause he always forgets to lock it) in road outside.

Think changing car key thing would antagonise him and he could take it and leave at his looney mothers and fathers house.

House worth 200k, savings 60k. Solicitor says its 50/50 but bit more in my favour due to our two children living with me.

Don't think I can get benefits until he moves out. Which he refuses to do. Can go see CAB on tuesday...by bus...!

OP posts:
Bossybritches22 · 27/08/2012 13:55

You not having the car will impact on the DC's education, which is illegal as well as cruel.

You can claim some benefits if you legally seperate, which dates from the first time you see your solicitor I think.

If you can get him to agree to mediation, it saves a lot of time & expense sd you can thrash out a few things before going to the solicitors & even if it goes tits up it looks better should it go to court that at least you tried.

Have you access to any money?

BlackberryIce · 27/08/2012 13:58

I don't think you can touch the car then. Are they entitled to free travel from the council?

JannieDavis · 27/08/2012 14:03

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Original poster
Netcurtainstwitching · 27/08/2012 14:05

I can get lifts possibly for the children, could get bus but hardly worth coming home again before I have to set out to pre school again.

Got a free half hour at solicitor, but just to look at my rights, not to legally separate? Does that still count?

Does the mediation cost money? David and goliath here...his parents have muchos money and his mother is a looney and loathes me apparently.

I have my own current acct that housekeeping is paid into and a savings with about £200 in. I have enough to keep going for a month. Not inc car or solicitor expenses.

Can I lock him out...not sure if he's going to tell children to make me the 'bad one' or if he will take things or just generally be a total difficult twat. Why make this harder than it already is??? Isn't this bad enough without him being petty?? What does it achieve but upset me and by default the children can't go anywhere else in hols...I had wanted to take them camping.

OP posts:
BlackberryIce · 27/08/2012 14:06

Maybe you could get a place near school op?

mercibucket · 27/08/2012 14:07

Oh stop talking crap Jannie

mercibucket · 27/08/2012 14:07

Oh stop talking crap Jannie

SoupDragon · 27/08/2012 14:08

JannieDavis, you are are spouting nonsense.

Hotcoffeeisamemory · 27/08/2012 14:09

JannieDavis, you have not got a clue. Shut up.

Net curtains, google all solicitors in your area. Email all of them with your problem. Tell them you'll need legal aid. Although a bank holiday today, they will get the emails tomorrow and most will respond either by phone or email.

Good luck x

SoupDragon · 27/08/2012 14:09

He can't just empty the account as he will have to provide bank statements and these will show the withdrawals. He will have to account for where the money went.

delilahlilah · 27/08/2012 14:09

If he threatens you then you should call the police immediately. You need to speak to Women's Aid or similar who can give you the advice that you need.

BlackberryIce · 27/08/2012 14:09

Custody? It's residency. And the most he could do with it is 50/50. Op is 'main carer' and courts won't change that without there being welfare issues present

Hotcoffeeisamemory · 27/08/2012 14:10

You cannot lock him out or change the kicks if you are both on the mortgage.

MyLittleMiracles · 27/08/2012 14:10

Your solicitor can get your asserts frozen I believe so that he can't withdraw the money. I wouldn't mention to him about the solicitors, I would just keep it to myself.

I would try to move out if I were you. You can ask the council to rehouse you if you fear for yours or the children's safety. Whether or not they help is another matter.

Hotcoffeeisamemory · 27/08/2012 14:10

Right I just googled.

Google legal aid solicitors and then your area.

onemoreforgoodmeasure · 27/08/2012 14:12

OP, you've not mentioned his threatening behaviour since your first post. Are you worried? Could you stay with friend/family for a little while until you sort out what happens? I.e. the house might need to be sold anyway.

BlackberryIce · 27/08/2012 14:12

Councilsare more likely to stick you in a b and b, and it doesn't gave to be near your present schools either.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 27/08/2012 14:13

You really need to get the divorce procedure underway if you want things to change properly. If he has been violent or aggressive, that may be enough to get a court order removing him from the family home short-term. Long-term, you're looking at sale of property, division of assets, maintenance payments and so on. It's always better & cheaper if you can do these things amicably but, if you're dealing with an unreasonable person, you have to go the legal route & accept it's going to be expensive and difficult for a while.

Btw ignore 'janniedavis' and his misogynistic rantings. Hmm