Surname change help please

[Dillinger]

Ive been googling and reading various bits of info but Im still really confused so any help would be very much appreciated!

Dp and I arent married, we have 2 children (6 and 4) and when we registered their births we gave them his surname, in hindsight I wish Id looked into things properly. Anyway..

If we were to marry we have said that we would both take each others surname but are undecided about hyphenating them as yet, I have read on here about using the two names without a hyphen so I guess mine could be 'there' somewhat, this sounds promising at the moment. I wouldnt want to be 'Mrs Dp's surname' and would like to keep mine. (Could he stay as Mr hissurname and I then be Mrs mysurname?)

I am most confused about the best way to go about things so that I can have the same surname as my children as I feel left out somewhat. If Dp and I got married would the childrens surnames change 'automatically' so to speak, or would we have to then use the deed poll service?

Blimey Im confused, apologies if Im rambling here.

It wouldn't be automatic in that you won't be sent new documents. But you could all just start using the new names for everything yourselves- there's no legal requirement for deed poll. Most people find it convenient to have some proof of the name change though. Its easier.

There's nothing to stop all of you changing your names without you and DP getting married either, if you prefer that.

Thankyou FlangelinaBallerina (love the name btw )

So if we did get married, we COULD go through deed poll to have the documents, but we dont HAVE to, am I correct?

Do you also then mean that we could all use the names we want to now (basically Id mean the children having my surname included in theirs) without having to go through any procedure?

Sorry if Ive made mistakes here, I need an idiots guide

We spoke about marriage for security reasons - wills etc though I may be confused on that too.

Would the CAB guide do?

www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/your_family/family_index_ew/change_of_name.htm

In your position, I probably would go for some deed or documentation, especially for you, just because banks etc tend to want to see it. It isn't a legal requirement, but that doesn't mean it won't cause you inconvenience not having it. If you get married, you can just start using your new name and most places will accept your marriage certificate as sufficient documentation/evidence. But that still leaves the kids.

There are a lot of threads about the legal benefits or not of marriage, so you could look them up. Olgaga and Scottishmummy seem to be on most of them. Whether marriage gives you more financial security or not arguably depends on your situation. If you gave up work to stay at home with the kids, it does, but if you're the higher earner, it advantages your DP. There are however a couple of things that you can only get from marriage, for example the inheritance tax provisions for spouses. A spouse can inherit all of their spouse's unusued nil rate band, a partner can't. Obviously this might not be relevant to you. If you're not going to get married, you'd certainly want to think about how else you'll make provision for loved ones (will, next of kin, pension beneficiaries).

Thankyou very much indeed for all of your help. Dp works whilst Im at home, so we thought marriage would be beneficial regarding the things you have mentioned. I have been looking on the cab website but I still had a few niggles.

So if we were to marry, which I think we will do, my marriage certificate would hopefully be enough certification for banks etc but it is probably then a good idea to also go for the deed as that way we can sort the kids.

I think that is probably the way to go, does what I have written make sense? I.e is it a possible route to take?

Thankyou again, I really appreciate it