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Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

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Original poster

Didnt know where to post this?

21 replies

EllenandBump · 03/01/2012 14:50

I have an appointment with a solicitor tomorrow. AIBU to ask the solicitor to inform my ex husbands that all correspondence will be through them and to make sure that he does not have my phone number and to ask that when i move he does not have access to my address? Or does he have the right to these as i am looking after "our" child. Or am i just being slefish wanting an easy life? x

OP posts:

Angelswings · 03/01/2012 14:51

Will he have access with your child?

Original poster

EllenandBump · 03/01/2012 14:58

He will have contact but only through a contact centre.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2012 15:00

Is that definite? Or is it the reason you're going to a solicitor?

If it is definite then I'm sure your address can be kept from him but if he has PR and there are no injunctions against him, I think he probably has the right to know where his child lives.

I'm sure the Solicitor will explain all.

Eglu · 03/01/2012 15:02

If he has contact only through a contact centre then I would think it is possible for him to not know where you live. Your solicitor will know.

Original poster

EllenandBump · 03/01/2012 15:06

I am going to the solicitors regarding custody. My ex was very abusive and has threatened me numberous times, hence i do not want him knowing where i live when i move in fortuantely i am staying with mum atm ad therefore he knows where i am. Can they also keep my phone number from him? As i have had very unpleasent messages in on facebook page and that of my friends etc, despite blocking him. (he set a new one up. again blocked)? He currently does not have it and nor does his solicitor. It is only VERY CLOSE friends and MY family that has it, for obvious reasons. x

OP posts:

Neuromantic · 03/01/2012 15:12

There is a legal section. And a divorce and seperation section. And a lone parents section.

Kayano · 03/01/2012 15:13

Take a print out of the FB messages and any nasty texts and show your solicitor tomorrow. They would be able to better advise
You on what you can do. How are you feeling about tomorrow Ellen? Have you got all your questions sorted? Remember to take a pen!

Original poster

EllenandBump · 03/01/2012 15:16

I have a pen and note book and diary already in my bag. He fortunately hasnt been able to text me as he doesnt know i have a phone (he sold my htc desire s) so no texts just FB messages. Feeling nervous and stressed and really need reassurance. I have about a page of questions. Firstly what is the difference between joint custody and contact ? Which obviously could make a huge difference. x

OP posts:

Angelswings · 03/01/2012 21:52

As you will to have to meet him for your child to see him, then I would think its perfectly possible for him not to have your details, but going through a solicitor would get expensive. Could a friend not act as the go between of messages about contact times?

Lueji · 03/01/2012 21:57

Firstly, I'd say you have a right to safety.
You could make a formal complaint to the police about the threats and harassment. Definitely get an injunction.

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2012 22:00

I remember you now

Did you not take the advice to make your wall friends only and stop adding new people?

Original poster

EllenandBump · 03/01/2012 22:03

I have. No more ex. He changed his name but now its only friends that can see me! Which is great. I dont plan on seeing him ever again. He can no longer get to me but was worried he could request my address and phone number etc or his solicitor could give it to him? I am trying to make sure he cannot contact me anymore. I kept the FB messages in case i needed them.

OP posts:

Original poster

EllenandBump · 03/01/2012 22:05

And ufortunatly he was getting on my friends pages and they were telling me about what he had said, unstable person, crap mother!!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2012 22:06

Well sadly no-one can stop people spreading shite about them...I'm sure your friends know the truth.

I'm sure your info would be covered under data protection actually.

Original poster

EllenandBump · 03/01/2012 22:12

Glad to hear it. Want to make sure it doesnt get slipped to him as i have been very careful with my phone number and its a sim only contract so a bit difficult to change number!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 03/01/2012 22:17

Actually, I can't think of a reason why his Solicitor would need your phone number anyway? And your Solicitor won't give it to him.

Eglu · 03/01/2012 22:25

I was just going to say what worra said. His solicitor has no need for that info either.

Original poster

EllenandBump · 03/01/2012 22:39

Good. Its just its over custody, so on any court papers etc it wont have my address details of where the child is currently living etc. Have a weird feeling he may well take it as far as court if i refuse to see him which of course i am under circumstances. x

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catherinea1971 · 04/01/2012 11:38

If contact is only going to be through a contact centre then he has not need for your number, if the contact changes then I would strongly suggest that you set up a new email account specifically for contact issues, I think that the courts can actually set one up for you in certain circumstances.

But for now it may be an idea to only have any contact between yourselves through your solicitors.

catherinea1971 · 04/01/2012 11:40

I would also suspect that he will take it all to court, my ex did this (he still has me in and out of court now 8 years on) it is just another way of trying to keep some control. Good luck.

Original poster

EllenandBump · 04/01/2012 17:43

I went to see my solicitor today. She suggested a contact centre and has said that if he does take it to court it is likely that they weill recommend a contact centre and refer him there. My nearest one is very fortunately within walking distance. And apparently he will have to lodge any court hearings in the court closest to where the child is residing, which is also within walking distance. All of which is a relief. He isnt likely to be able to get any of my savings since seperating as i had none previously as he is on legal aid and they wont issue proceedings for sums under £5,000. Currently my saivings are about £120 so not much but at least i am no skint constantly and worrying about how i will cope. x

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