Change surnames

[Jenni1010]

I need to change my sons surname from his dads to mine. His dad has moved country for good and my son wants my surname. His dad will not consent to this. how can i do it so its legal?

You will prob need to go to court. You can't just 'change' it unless a judge agrees it's in your sons best interests

I was afraid of that. im a lil skint (my childs dad is basically out his life n doesnt help at all)

(thank you though x)

Does the father have parental responsibility?

If he has PR you need his consent to change your son's surname. If he will not consent you can go to court for a Specific Issue Order to resolve the matter but I'm afraid your chances of success are low.

If he does not have PR you are free to change your son's surname without his consent. However, he could apply for a Parental Responsibility Order to get PR and a Prohibited Steps Order to stop you from changing your son's name.

PR... im guessing he does as hes on the birth certificate... but other than that he may as well not be on it as hes not around.

If the birth was registered after 1st December 2003 he has PR, I'm afraid. Even if he doesn't have PR, he would probably get it if he applied for a Parental Responsibility Order.

so how do i change my sons name? or can i not?

You can try going to court for a Specific Issue Order but, as I say, your chances of success are low. Alternatively you could try to get the courts to remove his PR but again your chances of success are low. Unless the father will consent the only way forward legally is to go to court.

The other option is, if you wished for various reasons, you could change your surname by deed poll and then have the same surname as your son? I however do not know the circumstances so cannot say whether this would be right for you or a good idea. I hope i havent caused any offence. x

I have a friend who just started using her own surname for her DC after his father left them when DC was only a baby. It worked without a hitch until DC was about 16 and they had a few problems with official stuff but by then they discovered he was entitled to change his name by deed poll which he did very easily. So my advice would be just start using whatever name you want for your DC and it will cost you nothing.

Thanks everyone, I never thought of changing my own name. But i dont think i want to do that. And in respect of just changing it im worried about doing that. Passports will need his proper name in it wont it? then like you said at 16 will start to get problems with exams and stuff.

Yes, thats exactly where the first problem with my friends DC came - exams but up to then no problems. It made life so much easier for them with nursery, friends etc and it just continued. All she needed to have done was to remind the school that DC name was not his official one but she forgot. Of course you need to keep the passport in the official name and be careful to book plane tickets in that name! I am almost certain it is 16 that a child can change their own name by deed poll though but its easy enough to check up.

My children are known by my name for all the usual everyday stuff. Their passports have their legal name but it's no problem other than I have to prove they're my children whenever we travel! Absurd, don't really get why the course system are so inflexible on name changes, every situation is so different.

Under the Children Act 1989 the welfare of the child is the paramount consideration. Courts won't grant permission to change a child's name because a name is an important part of a child's identity, and children who are insecure about identity and their natural parentage tend to have low self esteem leading to emotional and behavioural problems later on. Therefore the difficulty is demonstrating a change of name is in the best interests of a child.

Just to be clear, even if you want to change the child's name informally whilst leaving the legal name unchanged you need the consent of everyone with PR. If you change the name informally without the father's consent he can go to court for a Prohibited Steps Order to force you to change it back again.

It is also worth noting that schools are more aware of the issues these days and generally comply with official guidance which says they need to see written consent from everyone with PR before accepting a change of name for a child. Having said that, I'm sure some schools get it wrong.

I have to hide my sons passport as he gets upset if he sees his fathers name on it. My son rejected his father due to dv, a very different situation to a child in a loving relationship with an absent father. I just think it's all very sad and sometimes there is no right or wrong answer. In reality things are very different to how they come across on a mb and in the eyes of what our antiquated legal system thinks. I'm doing everything I can to bring my son up the feel happy and secure and I think I'm doing a pretty good job considering the circumstances.

Santa5l1ttleHelper - The courts look at each case individually. Whilst there is a bias in favour of leaving the child's name unchanged there are cases where a change of name will be allowed. As STIDW says, the primary consideration is the child's best interests. If you could convince the courts that it is in your son's best interests to change his surname you would be able to do so legally.

Thanks for your advice prh & stidw. I'm at the point where I'm exhausted with the whole court process & the name isn't something I have the energy to argue about. The name is a specific issue in the proceedings even though the legal name is used everywhere official.
Sorry for hijacking your post op!

its all quite nasty. My boy wants to have the same surname as me and my family, his dad left the country and only talks to my son once a week for about 15 mins using skype. It upsets him when he tells me his name using my surname and i try to correct him. He is only 3 but its already causing grief. And then with holidays and me having to prove im his mother it would just be so much easier to have the same name!!! I am currently trying to convince the father to at least consent to double barrel my sons surname that may make everything a little easier. I dont think hes going to agree. It angers me how he has PR but isnt even in the country to see his son nor does he pay any maintenance!