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Legal matters

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Original poster

Court Order

10 replies

rubin · 30/06/2011 14:44

Hi,

Myself & our DC's father have a court order in place since March. Essentially children stay with their father every 2nd weekend. We were both agreeable to the terms - times, dates, etc.

Now, their father is becoming increasingly difficult, demanding he have them for longer periods, leaving them back late, etc. He accuses me of being unreasonable & went so far as to say I'm not fit to be their mum.

I have never renegged on any of his weekends - always had the boys ready in time. In fact, I have frequently let him change his weekends when requested.

He's now insisting that he is going to bring me back to court in the Autumn & get the agreement changed to longer periods with him. I'm so tired of it all. He dragged me to court in the first place for no good reason, as I had always agreed with the contact terms. It cost us both a fortune & for no good reason it fees as he is now refusing to accept the terms!

Can he do this? How will the court react? The children are both under 3 yrs old, so the original agreement was drawn up allowing for how young they were.

Any advice welcome.

OP posts:

Collaborate · 30/06/2011 15:54

If he seeks advice he's likely to be told that he'd have to show a change in circumstances so soon after the order was made.

Of course the younger chidlren are the faster they change, but it seems a bit too soon to me.

You can't stop him applying to court, but if he applies repeatedly the court might eventually get fed up and make an order inder s91(13) of the children act that makes him have to ask for permission before bringing it back again.

GypsyMoth · 30/06/2011 16:02

i got a section 91(14) to stop re applications without leave of court. it was worth it!!

STIDW · 30/06/2011 16:41

I wouldn't worry about going back to court, it gives you the opportunity to raise the issue of bringing the children back late and the court may make a contact activity direction to attend a Parenting Information Programme which encourages parents to put the needs of the children first. With private children cases there isn't a lot of law involved and one option to avoid the costs would be to represent yourself. If you have been to court you will already know a bit about how they operate.

Original poster

rubin · 30/06/2011 17:41

What is section 19 (14) ILoveTIFFANY? Tried googling but not much joy.

If he does bring me back to court, I probably will represent myself.

I just feel that he is forever going to threaten court, but good to know that, unless he has valid reasons to reapply, it's likely the court would get fed up with him!

OP posts:

prh47bridge · 30/06/2011 17:49

An order under s91(14) says that the person against whom the order is made needs the permission of the court to apply for any other orders in respect to the child.

Truckrelented · 30/06/2011 18:15

Is it a problem if he sees his children more than two days out of fourteen?

STIDW · 30/06/2011 18:38

The problem is irregular and inconsistent contact isn't good for children and the order was made in the interests of their welfare. The father acknowledged it was in the children's best interests just a couple of months ago by agreeing to the arrangements. Circumstances haven't altered to to justify a change.

Original poster

rubin · 30/06/2011 20:25

Thanks STIDW.

The contact arrangements were orignially created in order to increase contact very slowly & gradually with the children. I had split from their father since before their birth, so they have never been used to being away from me.

Their father had fully agreed that every 2nd weekend (one of which would be slightly longer) was fine, but now makes demands as & when it suits him.
For example, his birthday is in August & he has decided that he won't be able to see them that month as he'll be out of the country (celebrating) but was demanding that he had them for longer the following month!

OP posts:

STIDW · 30/06/2011 20:38

It isn't unreasonable to agree alternative contact to fit around holidays a couple of times a year. If the problem is that you think it is too long couldn't you compromise and offer another weekend? Or is the problem that he is trying to alter contact on a regular basis?

Original poster

rubin · 30/06/2011 21:06

He is altering contact all the time. And I have agreed to these changes as long as he is keeping it to the same amount of time. I am always open to working around holidays & his work, but anytime that I have asked for certain weekends he accuses me of impinging on his time.

At one point, he discussed just seeing them once a month but for a slightly longer time & I agreed to that.

But now he's demanding that he should be seeing them for longer all the time.

OP posts:

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