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Legal matters

Where does my DS stand?

91 replies

elizadoestoomuch · 06/03/2011 17:25

Can someone advise me please?
i will try to be clear but apologies if not.
DS dad (my exp) died at the end of January.
He owned his flat and told me a couple of years ago that should anything happen to him he had made a will and got the correct life insurances etc so that DS would be provided for if anything happened to him.
Got a phonecall a couple of days ago from ExPs family saying that paternal Grandad would like to contribute to DS "upkeep" (for want of a better word). I think this is a lovely thought but no mention has been made of what provisions have been made for my DS. Don't kow for sure what the will says.
I have to phone them back but really don't know what to say.
I'm thinking of something along the lines "such a kind offer but as ExP assured me that DS was provided for then it really is unneccessary." But that sounds so cold?
Relations haven't been great between them and us for a year now because of DS dads begaviour but I don't want to make things worse.
On the other hand I would like to make sure my DS recieves what he is entitled to.
Again I think it is a very generous offer by DS grandparents but it seems wrong if DS is supposedly provided for.
Am I making any sense? Such a hard issue. Don't want to be cold or callous to anyone just tired of not being given the correct information (the family have form on this- didn't notify us for over a week that he had died).
I guess my question is what do I do if there is a will and what do I do if there isn't?

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Maryz · 09/03/2011 16:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

melvinscomment · 09/03/2011 17:32

@ Resolution and @ Maryz :- This was the Act relevant to the case I was involved in. Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975. I haven't checked but would have thought elizadoestoomuch's son is a dependant child :-//www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1975/63/contents So are you correct to say or imply that the Inheritance Act is the wrong Act?

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Resolution · 09/03/2011 22:36

You wouldn't apply under the inheritance act if the son has inherited it all anyway. You ask, under the IHA, for reasonable provision out of the estate.

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melvinscomment · 10/03/2011 09:06

@ Resolution et al :- Fair enough, it may be that any claim would be made via the Trustee Act rather than the Inheritance Act but it's still going to cost about £150 per hour and take a lot of hours and involve a lot of stress, the final bill being payable by the estate or elizadoestoomuch or both, which is why it will be better to do a deal if possible.

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Resolution · 10/03/2011 09:33

Before she 'does a deal', as you put it, it is important that she knows what the law is, what her righta are, and what the position of the court is likely to be if it gets that far.

That is why she needs to take professional advice from someone suitably qualified.

ie, not you.

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elizadoestoomuch · 10/03/2011 10:56

I'm not looking to do "a deal" all I want to find out is whether my DS is provided for.
ExP assured me in the event of his death DS would be provided before but I BIL is now telling me this not the case so all I want is clarification. As they won't have a conversation with me about it then my only option is to seek legal advice.

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melvinscomment · 10/03/2011 11:01

@ elizadoestoomuch :- Fair enough, maybe something useful may come up on this other thread :- "How can you find out the terms of a will that you may want to contest?"

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norwegianwood · 08/05/2011 01:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlmightyCitrus · 08/05/2011 02:26
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myBOYSareBONKERS · 10/05/2011 21:14

any up date on this OP?

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elizadoestoomuch · 13/05/2011 21:45

myBOYSareBONKERS sadly not as such. ExDPs family have confirmed that DS is in the will but refuse to expand on that. Solicitor writing to them again to say that this response is unacceptable. I don't know whether just to say "enough is enough" and let it go - every solicitor letter is costing me. But on the other hand I don't believe they truly have my DS best interests at heart.
Whatever I do, I don't want DS to hate me in the future and me unable to explain my actions.

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elizadoestoomuch · 01/08/2011 22:58

Ok update. My solicitor has recieved a copy of the will. DS is entitled to 70% of the estate. The estate is really only the flat plus a little bit of savings. The trustee has now decided that he would like to buy the flat (to keep it in the family, I assume). The flat is valued at £115k.
If this goes through what next? Do I ask for a reasonable monthly contribution or go cap in hand every time my DS needs new school shoes/football boots (my solicitor is so far recommending the latter).
Any advice greatly recieved.

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mamas12 · 02/08/2011 21:23

If they are buying the flat are they buying it from ds therefore discharging his trusteeship?
If so then you don't need to go cap in hand surely the money would be going to ds/under your control.
What does another sol.say?

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elizadoestoomuch · 02/08/2011 23:35

mamas12 - I haven't seen another solicitor, do you think I should? I think they (ExPs BIL) have only only considered buying the flat since they recieved letters from my solicitor. I have a feeling they were going to keep the flat (ie not rent it out, not sell it) till DS turned 18 - I have no idea of the ramifications of that.
Not heard from any of ExPs family for months tho I haven't contacted them either. I regularly talk with DS about his dad, which he enjoys (IYSWIM) but DS appears to have no feelings/thoughts re his GP, he had a very awkward relationship with them. We have recently moved and I was considering sending them a letter with our change of address but no idea how to word it/what to say.
On a plus side DS has finished Year6 - got way above average in his SATS and got an award at the Leavers Assembly for achieving so much in the face of adversity and for being such an important part of his class. I was so proud of him (& me a little bit because ExPs family have made me out to be such a shit mum).
Just read through the thread I posted last year (link upthread) and I am so sad it has turned out like this - I knew something wasn't right and at the time I felt I did all I could but now all I can think is I should have done more to make his family see this was going to end in tears.
My gorgeous DS has lost his dad. We don't know where his ashes are. And here I am moaning about money.

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sparks · 03/08/2011 10:27

Well, this is Legal matters, so it surely is the place to moan about the crap way exp's family are handling the estate! As you said, they don't have ds's best interests at heart, so you (and your sol) need to fight his corner.

You are right to be proud of your ds's achievements. He obviously has a lot going for him.

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mamas12 · 03/08/2011 21:58

you should be proud of what yu both have acheived.
I think re: sol. if he has been yur family sol for years then maybe he might be as specialist in every field so maybe get some specialist advice ????
Doesn't sound right that the executors are buying form the estate and yet...
I dunno hopefully someone on here will know something more.

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