Adoption, fostering and a bit complex!

[zeebrugge]

I was adopted as a baby in 1971 and lived with my adopted parents until March 1987 when they were both drowned in the Zeebrugge Ferry disaster. I was put in short term foster care and then long term foster care until I timed out on my 18th birthday.

I was allowed to visit my former home, on the day after the funeral, to collect my belongings but never stayed there again. When my aunt and uncle came back from Denver in 1989 they lived there for a while.

Now I can sort of understand why I wasn't in the will, being adopted rather than a birth child. But as somebody told me over Christmas, and why I am writing, surely I was left something. Did I really matter so little.

Ah misunderstood.

I'd be going to an independent solicitor and the police tbh.

and emoticon

zeebrugge, I'm sorry I have no useful advice to give, but just wanted to add my support. As an adoptive mother, the thought of something like this happening to my daughters makes me feel physically ill. Very best of luck to you xx

Zeebrugge. I have just come to this thread.

I'm completely intrigued and want the best possible outcome for you. I don't have legal training but I do remember the time of Zeebrugge very clearly ( I think we are about the same age), I also have an adoptive sibling who is 100% part of the family and will etc, and we also have solicitors in the family.
Suppose what I'm saying is I'm on your side! You go girl, stand up for yourself! And stand up for the memory of your parents! You are like a MN Harriet Potter and we are Hermione and Ron and routing for you!

Ummm just a thought here. It looks like Zeebrugge's parents had no mortgage? So, really we need to establish who legally owns the house now. I would suggest you do a land registry search to check who owns the house now.... might be enlightening. Anyone can do a land registry search, they have a website which gives more detail.

This is all very odd and intriging - I am a lawyer, but probate is not my speciality. I really hope everything works out OK for you OP.

And please write everything down. And contact a publishers or a Woman's magazine.

I was still thinking of this late last night, I too wondered if the Aunt & Uncle are friends of the solicitor, my experience of solictors is they put EVERYTHING in writing, I cannot email our solicitor they want everything personally signed.

I do think you need an independent person in this to watch out for you, it's so emotional to read about I can only begin to imagine what it is like for you living it.

I have some good news and some bad news. There is a box of photos of my Mum and Dad waiting for me at the solicitors office and I now know that they did leave me something in their will but nobody ever bothered to tell me!!!

The bad news is that the family solicitor cannot help me any more because of a conflict of something.

What happened was that a 4PM yesterday Aunt and Uncle phoned my solicitor to say they would not see him. At 415PM another solicitor phoned my solicitor to say that Aunt and Uncle had asked him to represent them and that a box of photos and a letter would arrive before the close of business. At 455 the box and a letter arrived addressed to me and my solicitor arrived. My aunt and uncle have said all sorts in the letter.

They decided it would be in my best interests to have a fresh start not in the home with so many sad memories. This was arranged with an experienced foster carer .

All the money from the Mum and Dad was put into a bank account accesable to me and them. They have the signed paper from 1987 to prove it.

This money was used to maintain the house which they do not dispute belongs to me.

They say I was paid a weekly allowance into another account under my sole control. The allowance was uprated each year to allow for inflation.

Since they were not living in the house through choice but to maintain it for me they have paid themselves an allowance as well.

They have no idea why I have made no attempt to live in the house or to keep in regular contact with them.

PLEASE BELIEVE ME ? I didn?t know anything about the house being mine. Nobody told me. I am sure they didn?t. I have never had any allowance from them either. Nothing ever. Why should they get paid from my Mum and Dads money to live in my house when I wasn?t there. For years and years.

I am going off to catch the bus so I can see the photos. I am really excited about that. I only have 2 at the moment.

I'm really pleased for you about the photos. You must be absolutely thrilled. I think you now need to find yourself another solicitor who can help you determine exactly what is rightfully yours and also whether the police should be involved.

Wow that does sound like progress.I remember the zeebrugge so clearly some of dp's neighbours died in it too it was so sad.I hope you get the phots and the house you deserve it all

I am not surprised that the solicitor has decided there is a conflict of interest. It is possible you have cause for action against them.

I am also not surprised that your aunt and uncle have engaged their own solicitors. They have a lot to answer for. The fact that they have done this suggests to me that they know they are in the wrong. The explanations they have given you sound like a load of self justifying cr*p.

I would have expected that your aunt and uncle's roles as trustees would have ended on your 18th or 21st birthday. At that point all the money and any other assets should have been handed over to you. Did the wills say something about the estate going into trust for you until your 18th birthday or similar?

I can see no justification for them paying themselves an allowance for living in your house. If anything they should be paying you rent.

I note that compensation from P&O, payouts from the public fund and insurance payouts are not mentioned. Did they claim these on your behalf? Or did they just not bother?

The money may all be sitting in bank accounts but it will be substantially devalued by inflation. I doubt sufficient interest will have been paid to cover those losses.

It seems to me that your aunt and uncle have, at the very least, failed to protect your interests and failed in their duty as executors and trustees. I would also question whether dumping you into foster care was adequate discharge of their duties as your guardians, for which they presumably paid themselves £10,000.

The LA may also have some liability as they would appear to have failed to adequately protect your interests. There may even be a case against the long term foster parents.

I hope the photos help but please don't stop. This is only the beginning. Find a solicitor who will pursue this to the ends of the earth for you. And keep us posted.

This all seems extremely fishy to me. "They decided it would be in my best interests to have a fresh start not in the home with so many sad memories." how on earth could they decide that the house that you grew up in had many happy memories in, be deemed as holding bad memories, I don't mean to sound crass but they didn't pass away there. The sad memories are that they died "full stop" taking a child away from everything familiar at a time like this could only sadden the pain, Surely any one "caring" would know that.
zeebrugge my goes out to you it really does, I am so glad that you now have a box of memories, I am sure you will experience every emotion when you open that box
but I must agree you need to seek another solicitor and get to the bottom of tho whole sorry mess.

OK I take everything I said back. I honestly can't believe it!

The fact that the family solicitor won't be advising you any longer is good news not bad news. He's involved in this (whether accidentally or not) and can't give objective advice.

Unless you actually have a letter from the family solicitor saying he's acting for A&O I'd assume he's not. Given the potential claim against his firm he should be staying out of this on both sides.

As everyone says, you need another solicitor. Don't do or say anything to anyone (including A&O and the family solicitor) until you've got independent legal advice. I don't know where you're based - is there a local law centre. If not, any local firm will have probate lawyers. There is someone out there who will persue this to the ends of the earth for you.

Sorry just read your post again and realised it's another solicitor that's representing your A&O. The fact the family sol has said there's a conflict of interest means he knows there's a potential negligence claim against him coming up.

Surely there is a houseful of memories (ie the contents of the house and all your parents' personal effects) that is rightfully yours, not just a just a box full.

I really hope you are strong enough to pursue this. I'm sure your parents would have been horrified and you owe it to them as well yourself to make sure that you get at the truth and the relevant people are held to account for their actions and inactions. Get hold of a solicitor who specialises in these things; after all you won't have to worry about the cost now.

I hope the box of photos and mementos is giving you some comfort. There is a lot for you to take in at the moment.

It looks like things are progressing here. It won't make up for the years of mistakes/neglect/ill-advice but looks likethings may be going your way.

Good luck

Keep in touch.

Posted on the other thread too but I'm so angry for you. Please Persue SS too as they should have acted on your behalf & if they didn't you can make a fuss about that. I am v dubious about whether they were involved , I keep wondering whether it was an arrangement made by A&U.

Get another solicitor & stamp your feet, they can't get away with this on an emotional level never mind the financial element

Please get someone to act for you! I am shocked your Aunt & Uncle are making out like they were forced to live there! Presumably they will have evidence of this allowance that was paid???

I am glad you will have more photos but I can't get over you have been robbed by your Auntie & Uncle who are now trying to put blame onto a 16 year old, truly shocking,

Coming back to this again, I am seriously angry now (yet again!) so I may go over the top here but it seems to me that your aunt and uncle may be liable for:

• any difference between the amount paid into the alleged joint account and the true value of the estate

• interest on the amounts in the bank accounts

• return of any money paid to them for acting as your guardians

• return of all the amounts they have paid themselves as an allowance over the last 23 years

• rent for living in your house for the last 23 years

• if they have paid household bills (gas, electricity, etc.) out of the joint account, return of that money

• if they failed to claim compensation, insurance payouts, etc. on your behalf, the difference between any amount that can now be claimed and the amount that could have been claimed at the time

• interest on all of the above

The family solicitor and the LA may be jointly liable for some of the above.

You still need to know if probate has been granted and the value of the estate for probate. You also need to know what the Land Registry has regarding your house.

As others have said, this may end up involving the police but your starting point is to get a good solicitor.

I've been reading this thread with disbelief, and am so sorry for your loss, and that your original tragedy has been compounded by the awful treatment you have since received.

There's been some great advice on here, and I would just like to re-iterate that you should engage another solicitor TODAY, and also that it sounds like you need to involve the police as soon as possible - but presume the new solicitor could advise on that.

Please keep us updated with progress, and all the best of luck.

I would visit another solicitor pronto and in addition to sorting out everything else start evication procedings agains them

So horrified reading this story. I hope that the intervening years have brought you some love and blessings to make uk for this terrible loss.

This is all overwhelming, but you now need to mentally dig yourself in and be ready for a fight.

Remember, your aunt and uncle have shown themselves to be individuals who will take little care of an orphaned child. They have almost certainly defrauded the estate of their brother or sister. Do not trust them. Do not believe them. Take no assurances from them at all.

Also, they have the advantage of forethought. Years ago, they must have decided to do this and mentally prepared themselves for what might happen when they were caught out. They are probably already anticipating the moves that you might make.

So you need to find someone who is going to 'fight this to the hot end of hell', as someone said up the thread. Someone who is going to make sure that all parties get what they truly deserve.

up not uk