3rd child with a large gap from dc1 and 2? How has it worked out?

[Louindevon]

I am having huge heartache with my decision to want a third child after waiting so long (my sons are 8 and 6). I can cope with the thought of all the other 'cons' that go with having a third baby after a large gap, but not one.

I am having big problems with the thought that if we have another baby now I will be depriving my older children of the activities and holidays that have and could have now. Is it fair to them?

Did your third child stop you doing things with your older children?

Just wondering how other people have coped with the things I have mentioned? Would be really interested to hear from people who have 'been there, done it!'

Loux (very confused...)

I'm having exactly the same dilema at the moment. have children the same age as you and trying to decide about a third. Hope somebody comes along to tell us its all ok

Its sooo hard isn't it? I feel like I'm on an emotional see-saw. One minute another baby/child is all I want and the next minute I'm wracked with guilt about the thought it might ruin my boys lives and stop them doing all the things we like to do (we're quite an outdoorsy/adventurous family!).

We had planned to go skiing next year and another baby would not just blow that out of the water, it would probaby mean no holidays... I know thats not massively important, but still....

Good luck!

I kinda have the same situation but slightly in reverse. I have a 9 yr old a 2 yrs old and a 1 yr old (last one, bless him, wasn't planned!). Needless to say, the first had years of it just being us and we did lots of stuff together and then the last three years things all just ground to a halt in a way, but she absolutley adores them both, she is delighted not to be an only child and she has someone to play/argue with (yes, even tho the middle one is only 2.6). I try to make a point of just having some me and her time, by either going out for an afternoon or taking her to the pics. I realise that we will have to wait to go on certain holidays that would benefit her more, but that's just the way it is. I think the great thing about it all is that she has been able to help and it teaches her responsibility. I also think it's put her off having children til an older age (i.e. hopefully no teen birth!).

I agonised over having the second but at the end of the day, they do say a baby is a blessing (within reason!) and I'm sure another would only add to the fun.

I certainly don't think it would 'ruin their lives' if anything, a baby will enhance it in a different way - and the one thing about our eldest's baby brother and sister is the stuff they do, leaves her in constant hysterics.

And that's no bad thing.

Good luck with your decision.

I have a 10, 8,5 and 6 month old. Yes it does stop you doing as many things with your dc but it brings different rewards they will have another sibling in their lives for a very long time. You can always ski later !!!

Thank you Fidelma, a valid point. Lou x

My 2 dds were 8 and 5 when dd3 was born, and then 9.5 and 7 when ds arrived.

What really 'blew me away' was watching the older 2 fall in love with their baby sister and then once again with their little brother.

I feel very blessed that they still enjoy each others company and all miss DD1 enormously now she is living away from home.

I was fairly mad after number 4 was born and found myself doing all the usual stuff, such as days out to museums, farmsetc, just with a double buggy in tow too.Or sometimes 2 single buggies one pushed by me and the other by my eldest.

We took up Eurocamp type holidays too as a caravan was a cheap way to accommodate us all and the kids loved it.

best wishes