thinking about no 4

[racmac]

I have 3 ds's and always said that was it for us, they are 9, 4 & 2 BUT im starting to feel all broody again.

I jokingly said to dh lets have another one and he said ok.

I keep thinking of lots of reasons why we shouldnt
Id need a bigger car
I have actually no where to put a baby
its hard work having 3 let alone 4 especially when they are playing up
DS2 will be going to nursery pt in Sept and Ill be starting to get some time back to myself
Ill have to stop running which i love
I can imagine all the comments i will get
IT may he twins - there is a strong history in my family

BUT that said Im broody! and have moments where i think it would be lovely - i always said i wanted lots of children (I am an only)

Please give me your opinions - the benefits and the disadvantages

wait until DS2 starts nursery and see if you are still feeling broody. You may find that with 2 at school, you have the capacity to cope with another - or you may prefer the extra 'breathing' space! As for running, I like to run too and I know that it is safe to continue in pregnancy (with precautions of course - more info and a thread can be found on the runners world website). Space could be an issue, but kids can share rooms - mine still do for the moment (though that will change soon)

I am really broody and waiting to start TTC #3 so probably too biased to give balanced advice

I had no.4 last June and I can honestly say that for me the dynamics of 4 work better than 3. I think in part that's to do with no.1 and 2 being just 16 months apart, with no. 3 then 4 years behind. The idea was to try and add a little symmetry, and so far so good! Work wise, it doesn't feel that much more work, though we have been blessed with a very easy no.4! It's harder getting everyone out of the door in the morning, and returning to work was tough, but now things are settling down I can honestly say going for no.4 was one of the best decisions we made!

I could be you OP, my DCs 2 & 3 are a bit older (7 & 5). I wasn't thinking about a 4th until I had a miscarriage last summer after an unplanned pregancy. Now I can't stop thinking whether I should have a 4th.

My thoughts against having another one are:
-I have 3 healthy DCs, why rock the boat?

-They are past the baby toddler stage and seem to need my support more (homework, activities etc)

-The more DCs you have, the less 1:1 with parents they get (and money to spend on them).

-I don't like the idea of being an older woman with a teenager.

...but I am so broody!!!

Good luck with your decision

You could be me. Even down to the running. My kids are a bit older though 10, 8 and 3.

thank you for all your responses sorry not been back before.
Had big chat with DH this weekend and all the things i thought he would come up with he suprised me for saying the opposite

Id need a bigger car - dh says he just wont come in the car ever again - seriously apparently our car becomes a 7 seater if we turn seats around

I have no where to put baby - well it will be in our room for first few months and by time baby comes along the 2 youngest can go in bunk bed and baby go in with them until extension built (which is about 2 years time)

Ill have to stop running - well i wouldnt actually have to stop - thanks tanmu I looked at runners world and it seems to be ok if youve been running a while

The other reasons im still considering

Im also on depo so it may take a while - but im no closer to a decision!

Im thinking 3 - 4 kids doesnt actually mean that much more work given 3 can be hard work anyway

Yipee

What car do you have?

merc

I mentioned it to dh today and didn't get much response...

I wish we had gone for it when ds2 was younger because if we do go for 4 then it would be a 4 year plus age gap.