Anybody else felt like this

[soooobroody]

Hi i would like another baby i have four at the moment 16,8,7,4 ..Spoke to my husband about it last night and he pretty much said no . I have been quite upset by this today ,also angry because i know some of the reasons my dh gave are right. Not sure what to do now ..(don't suppose i have a choice) . I just cant bear the thought of never being pregnant or having a baby again.

Please tell me i am not the only saddo who feels like this

yes. I have 4 and had planned 6 but number 4 was born severely disabled. DH has said absolutely not. Never etc.
I still grieve for the toddler number 4 should have been and feel like I've missed out. The first 3 were all within 3 years so I left a 8 year gap so i could 'enjoy' the next baby. Been an awful nightmare of hospital, SN and knowing she will die young. He doesn't understand I feel I still haven't 'enjoyed' the baby/toddler thing.
I know I should be thankful I have 4 but when number 4 was born he promised me if she died we'd have another. Thing is, she's now 5 and I'm 41. She will die but he has gone back on it.
And I know it would be very hard with a baby and number 4 because I have to sleep next to her in case she stops breathing or fits.
So he's right and wrong at the same time but I still want the baby I should have had. If that makes sense

Oh Riven. your story always breaks my heart. I cannot even imagine what it must be like waiting for your beloved child to die.

soo I can completely understand where you are coming from.

We have 5 dc's, (15, 12, 6, 4, 2 ) and had always said one more to make it 6.

Started trying last Septmember, Dh announces in November he;s changed his mind. Had mc at Christmas and I was devastated. I peaded with dh to at least think about it, as we'd always planned. Hi reasons all made sense, money, room, time for us, etc etc but my only reason was that my heart was telling me we're not finished.

January, he got ds, (6) to present me with a bottle of Gaviscon in boots, telling me, "daddy said you'll need this in a few months"

We are now ttc #6. I know he gave it proper thought and agreed because he wanted to, not because I was so upset.

I really hope you can manage to sort it through cos I know it can eat away at you, and some people never get over it.

Hi Thanks for your replys makes m feel better knowing i am not alone ...i will give it a wee while then speak to dh again but i might have to accept that it will not happen.

riven my heart goes out to you

I have just miscarried no 5 last week. Am absolutely devastated, but feel that I have no right to be so upset, or tell people how I feel as I do have 4 dc already and am very lucky. People will just not understand. But I cannot help how I feel.

so sorry to hear that reindeermum, you have every right to be just as upset as anyone else, anyone who tells you otherwise has no heart, sending you ((((hugs))))

Thanks bigcar. The yearning for another just gets stronger and now I feel like valuable months have been wasted and I am that bit older.