Main breadwinner going from 3 to 5 - any tips?

[LongStory]

Hello,

Am new to mumsnet after hilarious article about it in newspaper this week. Over the moon to find intelligent larger families thread. I have 3 kids (8/7/4); is fab but never again i said - then got the signs. Termination unthinkable, although had mini rebellion of my own sort but got my head round things then at scan I said a very bad word when found out two cooking.

Is everyone with larger families a SAHM? My full respect ladies but I couldn't do the hard work and rely on my man (he has worthy low paid job + tends to flit about job-wise). Guess the corollary is that many career mums with unplanned pregnancies terminate? Tell me it's not always true!

Done with running from reality, 22 wks now, need to project plan. Career just getting sorted, need reliable £. Am thinking:

• 8 months off then back to work 3 days/week for sanity and long term security
• keep my domestic support even if it kills me financially (cleaner, nanny 3 days) plus try to find a local teenager to help with after school e.g. listening to reading & cooking tea while I/nanny drive to [v minimal] clubs
• pay rise and lots of love to nanny and cleaner so they don't abandon me
• breastfeed out of laziness, and to make sure i have time to bond with new babies
• immediate drop in housework and other standards
• seek commission from vasectomy referrals (we are the cautionary tale)
• learn to love chaos
• less chat rooms after 11pm

Sorry this is so long - encouragement/ tips most welcome!

Sounds sensible,except "Less chatrooms after 11 pm"

Welcome to mumsnet.

A late night mumsnetter

My friend has just had twins,she now has 4 under 5 (total respect emoticon)

I only have 2,though 1 has special needs..realises is on wrong thread and goes to watch Obama/McCain on More 4.

darling, you sound like you've got it all under control and a cunning plan in place.... you don't need us, but do stick around anyway!

Agree with FJ, all sensible apart from no chat rooms after 11. You will only have time to come on here after 11 by the sounds of it, and you'll be ready for the light relief (or a fight depending on your mood). You'll get both here most nights, as well as lots of TLC if you need it.

Welcome

Yeah I agree,.... but I'm still here and it's nearly 12. Let's see if the sensible mums who go to bed at 10 agree??? I'm not making sense now. I won't be around early as I've got to vomit copiously then do school run and go see my consultant for the first time before 10am. BTW I have a pathological hatred of hospitals & injections, all 3 born at home no problem, but am thinking secret homebirth of twins may not unwise...

I would imagine the home birth of twins would be fine if they allow nature to take it's course. every mum of twins I know has been induced for no other reason than it's twins so you may have a battle your hands there.
You sound marvellously organised, I'm very impressed. Can you promise you won't lose the baby weight in a fortnight and be giving your husband oral the night after the birth or else we might have to hate you

Love it! I think you may have helped me diagnose the real problem. I do strategic planning for a living and can think ahead / be a control freak about solving long term problems. Which is probably why I'm so freaked out by 3+2. The word 'organised' has never applied to me - the school run and making tea for 5 of us can easily reduce me to a quivering wreck, and I don't think I've ever once turned up to the right school event on the right day with the right fancy dress item (to my daughter's permanent shame - although she knows i love her to bits and just have huge blind spots). I've avoided serious mishap thus far but think reality is going to catch up with me.

Do I get any sympathy now???? Must get on to the tea...

Your plan sounds ace. I have a sort of 3 + 2 11,10 and 7 then 2 and 1. Things I have found helpful -

go back to work - sanity requires it

if possible split your days, with so many one is always ill and you can dose with calpol and keep your fingers crossed if you know its only one day.

Cleaner essential even if feeling skint

Older ones getting used to being self reliant on mornings, walking selves to school if possible. also allowing them to watch the babies while you make tea etc. its much easier with older ones they do help so much - the babies will be less demanding of you as they have so many other people.

we have a babysitter for the babies for three hours on a sat pm, lets us do something with the older ones

I like the sat pm idea a lot... and I completely agree about the cleaner (would rather go without food). Splitting days like Mon/Weds/Fri is an interesting idea, I haven't tried that, I currently work a long block of 3 long days and don't really see the youngest from Mon bedtime to Friday morning. It's tough but we know where we are with it, then there are four lovely days all together.

I would worry that the kids would get confused if I took a day on, day off approach. Also I might get confused myself about scheduling and be insomniac with work stresses every night rather than on two nights a week. But does it work for you?

Heather