4 kids?

[princesspeppax]

Just found out we’re expecting DC4, not unexpected but has brought up some feelings I did not expect and i’m flipping between happy/excited to wtf!! How much will life change!

can anybody please be brutally honest, how hard is the jump to 4? we have DD11, DS9, DS6. House is big enough, would maybe need to invest in a bigger car, that said we dont go places very far often.
I work part time DH full time, we do have a good support network.

please be brutally honest - how was it ? How is life with 4 ?

I have 6.
Going from 2 - 3 was the hardest for me - it didn’t get any harder after that imo.
Mine were not dissimilar age to yours 10, 7, 4.

It's mental ☺️ but I suspect you're pretty used to that with three! Also your bigger ones are all at school age so that will make it easier. You'll be grand 😊

2-3 was the big jump for me, 4 is great. You’ve got a nice age range. Congratulations!

4 was rough for me, far too many, sorry you did say brutally honest (youngest was not planned)

Fantastic as toddlers and little ones, overwhelming as mid teens with all the stress and moods and rebellion, hideously expensive as late teens with uni, driving lessons, etc and now can’t get rid of them as they can’t afford to move out (saving to buy).

It was no bother. Mine were 6, 4 and 2 when no. 4 arrived. For me, the big adjustment was 0-1. After that, well, we were doing it already anyway.

Surprise number 4, we had a bit ( a lot) of a panic and needed a bigger car and a bigger house. Would not have changed anything for the whole world as she fit in just beautifully, so very chilled from day 1 and adored by us and her siblings. Between 2 years 4 months and 2 years 9 months between them all. They have all grown into amazing adults who we are very proud of and she was and still is fiercely protected by her siblings. We have absolutely no regrets. Having a good routine and being organised was the main part for us.

I feel exactly like this. Although my boys are not adults yet, 15,13,11 & 8, this is the trajectory I am on...

I don't actually have 4 so please feel free to disregard my comment, but I wanted to comment as someone who has experience of having another baby after a large gap - which has been incredibly hard! Dc3 was also planned and agonised over the decision for years. My youngest was also 6 when I fell pregnant, he was 7.5 when dc3 arrived. Having a baby with older children is definitely easier in a lot of ways than having a baby with a toddler around, but that is fairly short lived. Finding activities to suit a big age spread is very hard and logistically impossible a lot of the time. Realistically with a 7 year age gap that will be the case for their entire childhood. I know you already have 3 so are alreasy used to being outnumbered so probably divide and conquer, but when you add in a big gap it makes it really challenging.

I really didn't think I'd struggle going back to the baby years but my mental health has really suffered (I have never had problems before). I think getting used to some freedom and then losing that is huge.
Starting again means that I will be doing primary school for 17 years straight. I worry about being an older parent, finances, missing out on opportunities/activities with older children and also really worry that I just don't have the same enthusiasm for parenting anymore. On the flip side, the older children adore the toddler and I don't think they've suffered at all. I am not worried about their relationships, it's different with them being older but I'm sure they will remain close and as adults it won't matter. I am quite relieved to read others found 2-3 transition hardest so it could just be that, but I'm fairly sure I wouldn't have the same struggles if it wasn't for the big age gap so definitely something to consider.

Iv got 10kids. When #4 came along i had a 4, 3, 1yr old and then the newborn. Wasnt really bad at all honestly. I had all my kids close togetherish, if your stable, already got a pretty good routine and all your kids are at school, id say the transition wont be as bad as you might think, the initial school morning juggle might take some adjusting and getting use to but it wont take too long. When all my kids were younger, it was so much easier, its now that majority of them are heading into adulthood its overwhelming, everyone needs driving lessons, dropped off to work, weekend with friends, needing picked up from parties or dinners out with their friends, everyone having their own appointments that I got to get them all too, like dermatology apps for acne and skin care, some gyno apps and well you get the drift and then i have to fit in my own life. But we also don't live near town which means they cant walk anywhere as walking to town is about 10hr walk. But when they were all young it was the best time in my life.

Thankyou for all these. Keep them coming!!! I know i could manage, just some thoughts creeping in now its real! DH worked a lot longer hours when 3 DC’s were much younger, and I managed then. Now they are all in school and he has a bit more flexibility I think it would be OK.

That said, I am used to dropping kids off on my days off and having the day to potter about, that will be a change! Not sure how easy childcare would be with work. We dont realy need my wage I tried being a sahm for a while but it was more mentally that I decided I needed to work rather than financially so will need to probably see how that goes…

Another thing i’m not sure on as holidays - are they much harder? We struggle to find hotels to accommodate 5 never mind 6 😭