stupid comments on sex of children...

[misscutandstick]

we have 5 children (aged from 15 - 2) and we are constantly fending off stupid questions relating to the fact that they are all boys.

awwww were you trying for a girl?

ohhh you will be trying for a girl then.

OOh 5 boys, dont you want a girl?

wow 5 boys! didnt you do well?

You must be proud to have 5 boys!!!

I dont know if anybody else is clever enough to physically choose the sex of the child before its conceived!?! I know i dont have the ability to. I dont really care to either. Whatever comes along is fine. We both wanted another child to add to our family, to watch them grow, to love, and be amazed at! Each and every one of them is as different as can be, why would it make any difference if any one of them was a girl? I get very annoyed at such comments. My usual reply is "ive only got one setting".

Do any of you have a similar problem?

[stillstanding]

I am one of four girls and whenever this comes up someone (always a bloke) says either (a) "Oooh your poor father" or (b) "Your folks must really have wanted a boy".

It drives me INSANE. Still haven't come up with an appropriate retort.

[AnAngelWithin]

we have 2 of each and want another. we get comments all the time like 'oh why do you want another one?? theres no more sorts to have' or 'oh well the middle one will get left out'

[lunavix]

I know I'm not a larger family (one ds and one dd) but I'm SO sick of people saying 'at least you have one of each'

or the best one as a single parent 'never mind, you have one of each so there's no point worrying about any more'

[ButterflyMcQueen]

my 5th son is 12 days old

met a 'frien' in tesco on thurs who said 'poor poor you'

does that beat them all?

[bratnav]

I have to say that I am dreading this when DP and I eventually have a baby together. I have 2 DDs and he has a DD, I shudder to think....

My parents actually said to my DSis (in my earshot) who is expecting her first DC shortly 'well we might be lucky with this one and have a grandson'. So what the heck are my 3 girls, chopped liver

[Eddas]

I don't have a large family so shouldn't be in this section, but

I have 2 dc, one of each, and often get the 'oh that's perfect, one of each, don't need any more' etc etc comments

When pg with dc2 I always got asked if we wanted a boy. My reply was always 'no dh wants another girl. I just want a healthy baby'

I couldn't have been less bothered which sex the baby was as long as they were ok. Really odd thing for people to comment IMO.

Sadly it seems when discussing children you are supposed to want one of each

Very rarely do I now get asked if we are having another. I doubt we will as I'm not sure I want to. Dh doesn't want anymore, but i'm sure we'd talk it through if I did.

[myermay]

i had one women on hols ask me if we were going to have one last chance at having a girl - i was gobbsmacked i couldn't even reply.

Yesterday women in the bank asked about my kids and i told her i have 2 boys and would love another - she replied, "well i've got one of each, so we don't need to have anymore", what a wierd thing to say! you either want 1,2,3 etc kids regardless of the sex they are surely, frigging wierdo!

Think i might start replying with something equally insulting along the lines of " You have one of each? i would hate that, it is so boring and annoyingly twee" - wonder if that'd shut them up, to chuck an insult back at theM?

[tulip31]

I have 4 beautiful boys (11,8,3,1ish), and found out with the last 2 what I was carrying ( as the older 2 boys wanted a sister and I was dreading the we don't want that put it back comment!). I constantly get were you trying for the girl then, and am now being asked as ds4 is 1 next week if we will try again!
To top it all my nan has come out with a classic, my cousin is expecting her first (any day now as she is overdue), and my nan has commented that she has told my cousin that she (my nan) wants a little princess this time not a footballer! When told this I replied - I don't do girls, maybe the 3 I lost were my princesses!!

[frazzledoldbag34]

I've got 2 girls and we're trying to conceive again. Hoping for another girl. When DD2 was born I had a few comments like 'oh shame, your husband must be disappointed!!!" and 'oh well, you'll just have to try again'!!!!

Excuse me!
Was delighted as we've both always wanted 2 girls. (and now would like a 3rd to complete the family).

Waiting for the comments when I announce I'm pregnant.
Hate the way people expect you to want one of each or

'THE FULL SET' as one of my friends said to me recently. She actually said 'oh, we're not having any more kids, I've got the full set!!!!" - she's got a girl and a boy. Lucky, lucky, clever her.

Anyway, its v annoying and I hope to have a healthy child (of either sex actually, but another girl would certainly not be a disappointment to us!)
Despite what everyone will think.
Sorry am ranting - this annoys me greatly

[goodasgold]

I think I would go even further than some of you. When people asked me about our third child, after two of the same gender, and I said I really don't mind what gender it is, they would say 'no as long as it's healthy'

Well even if he wasn't healthy, (and we weren't sure until he was 12 weeks old) it wouldn't stop me loving him beyond belief would it? I would still have looked after him and loved him. I would have rather had him in any condition than any other baby.

I hope you see what I mean.

[frazzledoldbag34]

Absolutely agree goodasgold.
Obviously we're hoping that we have a healthy child, but if it turns out not of course we'll still love her/him to bits.

People should really think before they make these assumptions and then say these things (especially to sensitive pregnant ladies!)

[cheapskatemum]

I have 4 DSs. When pregnant with DS3, got all the usual comments, as quoted above. 2 of my friends were pregnant at the same time, one had 2 DSs, another had 2 DDs. By the time I gave birth, neither of my friends were pregnant, or had a 3rd baby. One gave birth to her 3rd DD at 24 weeks, the baby survived for a day. The other friend discovered at an early scan that her child had spina bifida and had a termination. I told this to everyone who subsequently made any comments about the sex of my children. As to them being healthy, DS2 has ASD and SLD, but he is extremely healthy and had 10 fingers & 10 toes when born!

[alardi]

I had girl followed by 3 boys, and I never minded if someone asked if I was hoping for a girl each time (I'll tell anyone I would have liked one of last 2 to be a girl). It's weird that on MN people are often offended at the implication that they care about baby's gender, but in real life I meet loads of people who have a slight preference.

Further, I would like to be mum to a rocket scientist, an Olympic gymnast and a brain surgeon, but I doubt I'll get those wishes fulfilled either.

I also don't mind if people say they feel sorry for DD having so many brothers (I pity her, too, I envy women who talk about how close they are to their sisters, I didn't have one either).

But I agree there are more and less tactful ways to ask -- "Do you care if it's a boy or girl?" is much better than assuming "You must be hoping for a girl, then!"

[PinkyDinkyDooToo]

PMSL at Myermay turning it back on the perfect girl and boy families. Do these people seriously get pg just to have one of each.

When DB's partner had a girl my Mum said she was pleased becuase she had a granddaughter now. I know she lpves my boys and idn't mean anything by it, but it still was a bit

[Miaou]

When we were expecting ds2 (at that point we had two girls and a boy), the midwife showing us round at the hospital said "what are you hoping for?". Dh said brightly "a giraffe!" She ROFLd and acknowledged it was a bit of a daft question

I only get irritated by people who go on and on about the sex of my dcs. I tend to get the comments in first though, "yes, two girls and then two boys, aren't I clever!"

[4girls4chickens]

i have 4 girls and one particular woman kept on and on at me that i must be so disappointed (dd4 was 3weeks old) and in the end i said 'no, god i'm so glad i didn't have a boy they're disgusting!' she hasn't asked me since....
i have nothing against boys of course, i didn't 'choose' girls, they're what i have and i love them very much. i've never been disappointed that they were all girls and equally i wouldn't have been disappointed had any or all of them been boys.
will i try for number 5 in case i'm 'lucky enough' to get a boy? give me a few years and i'll see but believe me i won't be 'trying for a boy' i'll be 'trying for a baby....'

[sparklesandnowinefor11days]

i haven't read the whole thread but yes i do get fed up with stupid questions

we have 3 boys and a girl (boy, girl, boy, boy) and i'm pg again. people keep saying things like 'ooh i bet you'd like a girl this time wouldn't you' my response is 'am i missing something? i thought i already had a girl!' stupid feckers

[scorpio1]

(11 days!!! Really??)

[NotAnOtter]

sparkles i had your family once!

[sparklesandnowinefor11days]

scorpio1 - its my countdown til my due date

.....hoping to start drinking a bit of wine again soon

[sparklesandnowinefor11days]

NAO how many DC do you have?

[NotAnOtter]

fab sparlkes when is d day?

6 btw!

[sparklesandnowinefor11days]

next friday

[sugarpear]

Totally agree.

When i had dd3 i also had my 2 ds with me as i had 3 dc in 4years.

Everywhere i went i used to get' bet your pleased you got a girl after 2boys'

My answer was always the same 'actually she is my 3rd dd my other 2 dd's are at school and i also have another ds who is at school.

Then id get'ooooh 3 of each arent you clever'

There really is no hope with some people. I dont think they do it to be mean i think they really dont get how insulting it is.

A child is a precious gift whether a boy or a girl.

I have 6 beautiful children but i have also lost 2 sons and a daughter.

So grit your teeth smile and walk away quickly.Taking very deep breaths as you go.