stupid comments on sex of children...

[misscutandstick]

we have 5 children (aged from 15 - 2) and we are constantly fending off stupid questions relating to the fact that they are all boys.

awwww were you trying for a girl?

ohhh you will be trying for a girl then.

OOh 5 boys, dont you want a girl?

wow 5 boys! didnt you do well?

You must be proud to have 5 boys!!!

I dont know if anybody else is clever enough to physically choose the sex of the child before its conceived!?! I know i dont have the ability to. I dont really care to either. Whatever comes along is fine. We both wanted another child to add to our family, to watch them grow, to love, and be amazed at! Each and every one of them is as different as can be, why would it make any difference if any one of them was a girl? I get very annoyed at such comments. My usual reply is "ive only got one setting".

Do any of you have a similar problem?

Yes-the "Oh what a shame!" and the "never mind!" comments!

We were delighted with him and still are-and DS5 is 9 now!

Not exactly on the subject of the child's sex but Dh has just reminded me of when I was pregnant with DD4, a neighbour was discussing the number of children we had with another neighbour and was overheard saying "She's expecting again you know, it's a shame really" and the other women replying "yes, she seems such a bright girl as well, what a waste!" WTF!!

Obviously we must all be thick as shit to keep getting pregnant

My FIL is an evil monster, and thinks that I'm a dumb colonial, but I was assured after having my ds that FIL would be nice to me now that I had birthed a male. Just wait till he finds out our third is another boy - he might even say hello to me!!!

Also, I was told that he would pay for school for the boy, but not the girl, as it is a waste to educate a girl. I will not be using his money for ANY of my children, thank you.

olyoly-would you actually want such a sexist pig man to say hello to you?

i got lots of delightful 'ohhh,i bet that was a shock.what are you going to do?' comments when telling people i was expecting dc5.

er,yes,i was really shocked to discover i was pregnant after having rampant unprotected sex during my fertile time

oh,sorry,we arent meant to plan for more than 2 children,are we?

All I get is the ooo it might be a boy this time, chat. My dad helpfully trotted out some names the other day, all boys. And they were horrible!
FFS we only have 2DD's. It isnt like I am bothered what the sex is. I just wanted another baby.

yep i have just had my fourth boy and if i hear one more time "oh you must be dissapointed " or "were you trying for a girl" or "oh you've got your hands full"

whats worse was when i had ds3 and one RELATIVE told me how they were dissappointed he was a boy this time the first thing when told of ds4's arrival was to ask if we were "going to try again for a girl..........." my reaction is prob not one for the faint hearted.

dp and i always wanted four children, didnt care what sex, just glad that they are here and healthy, esp having had two miscarriages.

yesterday I got the frequently quoted "you don't need any more now you've got your girl"
my two boys are lovely
so is my dd
and family is complete because we think it is, not because of the gender of the children. Oh, and all the bedrooms are full now
as we all know on here... people say some daft things. We just smile and chat along with the conversation!

4madboys - I have the 'hands full' one too but I think that is because they are at a loss for words when they see me, my 4 childminded children (all under 2 and a half)and my 5DC's going for a walk with the dog

They stop me and say "they are not all yours are they?" to which I am tempted to reply "yes" just to see the cogs turning when they try and work out how I managed to have 5 children in 5 years!

This thread has really struck a cord with me! Am currently 37 weeks pregnant with DS2 and I've compliled a Top 3 list with DH to what's pissing me off!

In no particular order

1/ Not long noooowwwww..... (Yeah thanks, very productive!)
2/ them - Wouldn't it be lovely if it's a girl?
me - It's a boy.
them - Ahh what a shame, you'll be trying for a 3rd then?????? (ehh no thanks. Even if I did have a third and it's a girl, with 2 older brothers, what's the chances of her becoming a tom boy anyway!)

3/ when COMPLETE STRANGERS see you out and about with a toddler and heavily pregnant and they give you a pitying look and the whole, 'you'll have your hands full'. WTF do you know about it!!!!!

Rant over!

LOL JODIEhavingababy

You saying 'not long now' reminded me of when i was 40 weeks with DD3 and someone at work said to me "Oh, haven't you had that baby yet?!" and I was so infuriated by the amount of times she had said this I replied "DOES IT LOOK LIKE IT?!!!!!"

she never asked again!!

well i went two weeks overdue with all of mine so you can imagine i got "have you not had it yet type comments........."

I had the "not had it yet then" comments to which I replyed "oh yes but I like the fat look so much I shoved it back up my jumper!!"

I think every baby is a blessing wether you have 1 or 10 mixed sex or same sex.

Guess everyone gets hit with these stupid comments about gender and how you have to have one of each! Just a few hours ago I posted this below message on a email group I'm on, when someone was discussing a similar topic!

---

It really is utterly crazy the way people seem to think you need to
have one of each to have the perfect family. Does anyone have any
idea where such a myth came from??? I just can't see the logic of
it! lol I happen to have had a girl first and then a boy, so
everyone I meet seems to tell me how wonderful it is, and how did I
manage such a thing! So stupid! I met quite an elderly women when my
son was a few months old and she was just amazed that I got one of
each from the start, she said "How on earth did you manage that?!" -
and proceeded to tell me how she'd had to have 6 or 7 boys before
she got her girl!! Obviously the half dozen or so boys were rather
unwanted since it was a girl she was trying for! Poor children, in
my opinion anyway!

My daughter was only 7 months old when I got pregnant with my son,
so they're only 16 months apart. However, my son is now 15 months
old, and still no sign of another one! I presume it's because
of extended & tandem breastfeeding! LOL (tho they're not getting
many feeds these days). Anyway, if/when we do finally get another
one, I'm sure there will be plenty of shocked people, since
we "already had a perfect family"! Perhaps the longer gap would make
people think our family was finished, since first two were so close
together. But I love large families - I was the oldest of 7
children - 3 sisters and 3 brothers - it was wonderful! ....... My aunt has 7 sons and loved everyone of them - tho I do have to admit that she would have loved a daughter! But now she's got lots of daugther-in-laws and granddaughters, so I'm sure she's forgotten about her lack of a daughter! LOL

OMG 4madboys - I think I would have been tempted to tell a few pork pies about when my due date actually was if I were you
That way the pressure would be off you

Pregnant with 3rd. Anticipating lots of ooh were you trying for a girl type comments.

No. Wasn't trying for starters and like boys. People always look at me as if I'm a complete freak for not wanting a girl (could be that I usually joke that i'll have to have this one at hosp so I can give it back if its a girl)it's not like i won't love a girl but I like boys I understand them and can deal with them.

Oh well.

How to convince hubby to have a 4th...

I always got, from my aunt, in EVERY SINGLE CONVERSATION, while I was pregnant with DC3, "well, I just hope it is a girl, for DH's sake".....

why, why for DH's sake??? why make the comment anyway??? surely a healthy baby, another small being to love and cherish, is what we were aiming for, not for a boy, just for a new child.......

arghhhhhhh

made me mad. STILL MAKES ME MAD ((can you tell)).....and the worst thing......the comiserations when bump turned out to be DD3.....I ended up apologising to people when we rang to tell them, until one friend got quite cross and told me off, and quite rightly too!!

especially as it turned out she had been born with chicken pox (which I had been vaccinated for two weeks previously and it clearly did not work), almost killing her....we were very thankful for her after that, and still are.

of course, when I fell again, and she started the same comments, my HV gave me the best put down....."DH will get out exactly what he put in"....shut her right up

shame of it all really was that my family then disowned me when I had #5, just because I then clearly had no idea when to stop...

some people

I had an all out barny with my elderly and deffo senile nan in waitrose whilst heavily preggers with ds2, I was looking at blue things and she kept giving me pink stuff until I told her (again) that we were expecting a boy to which she replied-oh thats a shame isnt it, well to say I went for her is putting it mildly, the thing is tho I got all posh in my voice and actually said (oh the shame) "how very dare you" and other outraged things, my mum had to escort my nan from the building back to my car whilst i went and purchased many beautiful blue things in a bid to calm myself down.

Am expecting again and people still always go on about am I trying for a girl, I neatly reply that seeing as my dd dies before ds1 was born we would be happy with anything healthy.

Thing is tho so often the people spouting this utterly hurtful tosh are your close friends and they mean it well and dont wish to offend, but fucking hell offend they do-how do you handle that. I dont want to be having a ruck with my friends just because they say, ohhh hoping for a girl? so I just play along with secretly seething inside.

AS we have 4 boys and the age gaps are all realtively close 15,11,6,3 then we have had a few 'intersting' questions asked of us - and all were at least 2 weeks overdue. Never wanted or asked to know the sex - all came out as wonderful healthy boys and thats the main thing for us.

Best one came from ds3 (I think) - now that ds4 is 3 will you be having another one?

Put a stop to that in a permanent way .

Now many of the comments are that boys are easier than girls when it comes to teenage years - maybe its true but if you only have one type its hard to know plus they are all individuals but of course we love having all four boys wouldn't change them at all.

I think the sad truth is that unless you have one girl and one boy, it's not good enough for most people. Any sort of deviation from the "one of each" and you get all sorts of comments , regardless of what that combination might be.

Ah yes, that old chestnut! We have three girls and before the last was born I was constantly asked if we were hoping for a boy. When I was feeling really mean I would tell the person our history 'this is actually our fourth pregnancy, we had a miscarriage at 11 weeks last time and have taken 2 years to conceive this one so, actually, I am just praying for a healthy baby' it was a bit naughty but I hoped it showed them that the most important thing was to have a healthy child, we didn't give a fig what sex it was. (and, of course, dd3 who is now one month old is beautiful!)

I have 2 of each but people still make comments like...Oh have you stopped then? Did you find out what was causing pregnancy? must be time to have another.
And because I did have girl then boy alot of people asked why when I said I wanted more!

I'm not actually a larger family parent but had comments when pg with DS2 that 'you'll be hoping fo a girl then'. Am hoping for a DC3 in the future and know I'll get comments about trying for a girl.

Why do people have to say such stupid things. Do they genuinely have no clue that they are being really rude.

Also have heard parents of multiples having comments of, rather you than me, and other much ruder things.

People just don't know what to say, it's easy like the weather.