Is having 3 kids really that bad?

[Mamabear256]

Currently pregnant with 3rd. Have 2 boys 6 and 3.5 years old. This pregnancy was planned but now I’m panicking after reading horror stories online (mainly Mumsnet) about how hard having 3 is compared to 2, loss of freedom, ruining family dynamics etc etc. is it really that bad???

Meh I have more than that. Stop caring what people think. I did lots of dc ago.

3 seems like a wonderful size family to me. Just enough to feel like a biggish family without being overwhelmed. I only have 1 myself but I grew up with 2 siblings and had a lovely family life. Congratulations and all the best.

No, people just like to make negative comments and scare you! I found 2-3 the easiest transition by far. I knew what I was getting into, had the confidence to go with my instinct. Also, the children were already used to sharing my attention, unlike when you have a second. You'll be fine, obviously we don't have favourites but my third is definitely the cutest (if the worst sleeper!)
Edit to say my age gaps are exactly the same as yours - it worked beautifully, my middle loves playing with youngest and eldest is so sweet with her and a genuine help (now aged 2, 5.5 & 8.5)

No, having 3 DC isn't bad at all. I'm on my own with 3 and we're all very happy.

It's excessive but you do you.

Nah. The laundry is insane though. You’ve got good age gaps - mine were almost 7 and 4.5 when no. 3 came along. They’re 10, 8 & 3 now and get on so well, play together every night before bed etc. Cute!
The schedule is mad - eg oldest is off with his friends, youngest needs supervising with everything, the spread of needs is vast and none of them are really into the same things as each other (although of course there’s a lot of common ground). So the juggle is real but 100% worth it IMO!

This is a good point. My only child niece came to stay recently, and it was really noticeable how difficult she found sharing toys & not having the full attention of an adult at all times. My gang have much lower expectations and are therefore much easier!

Congratulations! I only have one DC myself so can’t comment on how hard it is from a parenting point of view, but I’m the eldest of three children and it definitely didn’t ruin the family dynamic! My siblings are two of my best friends and I loved the dynamic of three growing up.

It sounds like you’ll have a bigger age gap this time than when you had your second? So that should make things a little easier, plus the older two have a playmate when you’re busy with the baby. Enjoy them! I’d love more.

I hope not 😂 I’m pregnant with my third too. My DC will be 5 and almost 3 when baby arrives.

I’m looking forwards to it, tbh it’s already chaos so what’s one more 😂🤪 I’m looking forwards to having a small rabble.

It’s a lovely number! I’m one of three and now have three myself (nearly 5, 3, and 1). We’re still very much in the trenches with those ages, and it’s definitely tiring - I don’t think I’ve slept through the night since 2020 as I was always pregnant again, and ruining my sleep, before the older one slept through! - but it’s so much fun and seeing the dynamic between the three of them is amazing.

There are lots of things that are hard - the washing machine never seems to be off, so much refereeing of arguments, someone always needs something - but I love having a busy, bustling house and I like that it’s a bit ‘messier’ than two.

I have 3 and never considered us as having a large family tbh. Our older 2 were 7 and 6 when the little one was born and they absolutely doted on their new baby sibling. Still do now they are 20 and 21!
as a pp said, and this was partly due to the age gap (we thought we were done until we were very surprised to find out I was expecting again!) that activities needed to be thought out because they were at different stages but he just tagged along to places suitable for the older ones until he was old enough to have his own preferences and the older 2 were just happy to tag along to what he wanted to do. There was always a bit of juggling to do with school/preschool runs and the older 2 went to a secondary in a different county to the youngest so every few years there was a different half term week to throw a bit of a curve ball into the mix.
However we love having 3, there was and continues to be a lot of fun and laughter in the house, it’s just all worked very well for everyone.
congratulations and good luck!

I love having three.
i have a four year age gap between each, so one in preschool before the baby came along.
it was a lot of fun when they were growing up.
they’re adults now and get on really well, very close.
no regrets at all
except not having a fourth

I personally couldn’t do it but a good friend is pregnant with her planned 4th because she loved it so much with 3

So far it’s wonderful and much easier than going from 1-2

I've got three with really close age gaps, just one year between each. It was great.

Sorry, I should have read the OP properly.

I have four. If I was younger I would have more. I found 2 under 2 harder than the current 4 under 11 😁

It's actually really lovely. I have a 5 year old, 2 year old and 6 month old.

No, it's lovely.

I do sometimes wonder if people are trying to convince themselves they have made the right decision in stopping after two.

I mean, we are all different. Some people are happy with one child, others want 5. Some people have dc that sleep well, others don't. Some people have dc with disabilities that mean they will never live independently. Some people's '2nd child' turns out to be twins or even triplets. Some parents have more energy than others. Some parents have more support than others.

I can only speak for myself - having 3 dc is lovely.

Three children is just lovely, and really no harder than two. In fact after four it really doesn't get any harder. Sincerely, a mum of seven and a half.....

I love having three, third wasn’t planned but was the best thing to happen to our family. You have nice age gaps as well which makes life easier. Mine are young adults now and get on so well it is lovely to watch.

Loads of threads on MN discussing having three. I shall say it again. Three completed our family. All adults now and have always got on so well. Age gap 6 and 4 when baby brother arrived!

I had three in just under four years and it's been great.

I thought two was 10 times harder than one at the baby/toddler stage. I dread to think what 3 would be like. But a lot of folk thrive on it. Depends what you want.

I have three, with very similar age gaps to you. I love it and wouldn't change a thing. Mine are teens and tweens and all get along quite well now, although they sometimes have "spirited" discussions. I've really enjoyed being able to savour each stage for longer - although my eldest is at uni now, my youngest is still very much a child, still confides in me, enjoys hanging out with me etc. I sometimes feel, looking at friends who have two kids two years apart, that they moved through each stage so quickly.

I'm also one of three and we're all pretty close and get on well too, so there were no family dynamics ruined in our house.