Is having 3 kids really that bad?

[Mamabear256]

Currently pregnant with 3rd. Have 2 boys 6 and 3.5 years old. This pregnancy was planned but now I’m panicking after reading horror stories online (mainly Mumsnet) about how hard having 3 is compared to 2, loss of freedom, ruining family dynamics etc etc. is it really that bad???

I’m like you 4 th in 3 months and I would have a 5 th if I was younger but I’m 44 . I was alway a person that said I only wanted one then had number 2 14 years after my fist and I lived the organised chaos . I love seeing big families

I would have had another if we could have afforded to . The teen years are proving expensive and that’s before thinking about driving lessons and uni costs

We are paying out thousands for uni. We considered a third but so glad we didn’t now!

I have 3. It’s expensive when they’re older.

Nah it's fine. 2-3 was the easiest.

You should stop reading silly stories online. A bit like people who are unhappy are more likely to leave reviews, people who are having a bad time are more likely to write about their experiences online.

Hopefully it's just your hormones giving you a little spook and you'll be ok soon.

Three is great - so far! Mine are only 4, 2 and 1 though, so I’m hardly a veteran of parenting. Going from 2 to 3 was the easiest transition of the lot.

In fact, I only stumbled upon this thread whilst looking for a sense check on whether to have a fourth.

I have three, although my youngest is only four months old so I'm sure there will be rocky times ahead - but, I absolutely love it.

I am so much more confident and relaxed with this baby in terms of things like sleep routines, breastfeeding, bedtimes etc. My older two love their baby brother so much and haven't seen any regressions in behaviour or anything like that this time around.

Bringing my third home to meet his brothers and my mum was, no exaggeration, the best moment of my life so far. The whole room was full of joy, I can't explain it but I just knew my family was complete at last, and everyone was there and healthy and so happy. It was magic.

I have similar gaps to you - when my baby was born my eldest was 2 weeks off his sixth birthday and my middle was about 3 and a half. So the bigger two are in school/preschool while I'm at home with the baby. By the time my maternity leave ends, they'll both be in school so I'll only have to pay for one lot of chilcare.

My older two are pretty good at playing together fairly independently, and they're both now reliably toilet trained day and night, and sleep through most nights. I'm finding it a lot easier than the last time I had a 4 month old, when I was trying to toilet train an unruly 2 year old at the same time while dealing with a sleep regression in a heatwave!

I had a massive panic when I found out I was pregnant with him and it wasn't the straightforward, happy news I'd had when I found out with my older two. In fact we seriously considered ending the pregnancy. I'm really glad I didn't, although I am 100% done now and DH is getting a vasectomy, which I'm happy to support.

Don't panic OP! Mine are all secondary/uni age now and it's still fine. I honestly don't have any regrets about my three. I love the dynamics!

I have 3 children aged 9,6,4 so close in age and I don't think it's hard at all. Ok we all have days where we think "this is stressful"
"Omg the kids are so naughty"
"What a day it's been"
Etc etc
It's normal. It's life. It's a busy life. BUT we all get through it one day at a time!

Going from 2 to 3 children is easy you already know what your doing so it comes second nature.

Good luck with it all 😃

oooh I really want to have a fourth but it’s definitely a heart over head longing so I’m thinking I should stop at 3. Why do you regret not having a fourth?

Same 😅 and I was panicking just like the OP when I fell pregnant with my (planned) 3rd. Never ever thought I would be considering a 4th, yet here we are!

So many positives of having three here! Congratulations, OP

My third was the easiest, he just slotted right in! They are adults now, and we managed 3x driving lessons, house deposits. Only one went to uni so we got off lightly there! I love having three, I was one of three myself.

Of course not! Don’t be ridiculous

I have 3 dc boy age 15 and 2 girls age 6 and 11. The only things that bug me is that we don’t qualify for family tickets for things as there’s 5 of us 🤣 washing is next level and I do struggle slightly keeping on top of the house work. But 15yo and 11 yo pitch in. It’s honestly not bad at all. Good luck x

It’s bliss, I’m so happy with my family of 5.

3 DC is a very normal number in my friendship group, and the other mums are all really happy. A mix of full-time, part-time workers and SAHMs, we find time to hang out, do a workout, get coffees together despite having no family around (we all live abroad away from our home countries).

The main thing we all have in common though, is a supportive, excellent, loving, and capable DH. I think that makes all the difference.

Ok then, I’ll add that to my (short) list of pros of having a fourth 😅

I have four, all grown up now. It's just the costs that are eye watering, I think this is something I never really thought through properly. Love them all to bits though and don't regret a larger family.

Difficult financially but doesn’t make a difference to existing chaos of 2 IMO.

Its not actually all that bad. I have 3 boys and love it. It can be hectic household but overall not too bad. I had 3 under 3 though

Thanks everyone for responses. My elder 2 will be just turning 7 a few weeks after baby is born and the other will be 4.5 years old!

I had 3 boys 15 years ago and remember the horror stories well, both on MN and RL. I had 3 boys under 6 at one point. Even at its most intense, probably when they were 7, 5 and 3 ish, it was fine, perfectly manageable/bearable even on the most hectic day if you're a reasonably together person. Overall, it was great fun, they're great fun and very loving teens/young adults and I dont really know where the horror stories come from tbh with you.

Yep I feel like there is a lot of scare mongering about this! I am a very organised person as well so feel like it should be fine.

Three is easy, I have found four is chaos! 😆