How old were you and your partner when you had your third child?

[Zarah786]

Was the decision easy?
We're you scared of rocking the boat?

My husband and I are on the fence, we've discussed casually trying but because I am 36 and he is 41 I worry of all sorts...

Was the pregnancy different?
How did the dynamics change?

I was 41 (almost 42), DH was 40. I always wanted 3 - we were unbelievably blessed with him.

32 and 38, very scared of rocking the boat.
Not having a fourth for that reason.

We're your pregnancies any different at all? How did you 3 change the dynamics?

I was 28, DH was 31. I was a little bit as ds1 and ds2 were and still are very close. No regrets though.

Pregnancies mostly differed in length, DC3 turned up at 33 weeks. Unlike a previous poster, DC1 and 2 hate each other - they both love their little brother though!

I was 40 when I had my third. We love it and so often say to each other how glad we are to have him, and the dynamic between him and his siblings is lovely. Not all a bed of roses of course, very gruelling, relentless, stretched thin between what they each need etc. But despite worries we decided to go for it after constantly coming back to it and talking about it endlessly. My pregnancy was a mess as I had lots of issues with my epilepsy, having had none with the previous two, so had we known that we might have thought twice. But I recovered and wouldn’t change it. And that was more due to hospital confusions and being a bit relaxed about it due to it being fine the other two times rather than because I was 40 and having a third.

How old was your DH?

He was 43

I was 32 and DH must have been 35. Or just about to turn 35 I think. She’s 2 now. Older kids 9 & 6. Waited so long because reluctant, Covid etc. But cheesy as it sounds, the minute she was born it’s like the person who was missing had arrived and slotted right in and I was definitely done having kids. Love it!

Both 29. Very easy decision; we knew we wanted more. Very straight forward pregnancy like the others. DS1 was 20 months when DS2 was born and DD was 4. Their bond is amazing.

Another perspective - I'm one of three. I was 9 and my brother was 7 when our little sister was born. Him and her got on fine, but me and her didn't. Very bad age gap - I really wanted to be a big sister to her and help loads but struggled with her just wanting mum so was old enough to feel very rejected but too young to understand she was just a baby/toddler and it was not personal. We didn't get on until I went to uni. So it definitely rocked the boat for us. I'd recommend a much smaller age gap I think.

It's now I'm 31 he's 29

I had my 3rd when I was 35 & DH was 39.
I think how different pregnancy feels might depend how far apart your pregnancies/births are... my first 2 kids are 21 months apart, then 22 months between my 2nd & 3rd. So I wasn't significantly older than with my first two - but had been pregnant/breastfeeding/both for over 4 years without a break so I was tired in a way I cannot put words to 😆😆
Birth was a little different, my 3rd baby was a kilo heavier than either of the others, plus not in the best position, so we had a looooong ouchy labour and then a shoulder dystocia, but she was still born safe and sound at home.
Dynamics - I personally found every transition easier. No kids to one kid was a whole other world of WTF. One to two was harder obviously having to balance everyone's needs but I felt I knew what I was doing. Two to three - we'd not only learned how to parent a newborn, but also how to care for toddlers through that massive change, AND how to care for ourselves.
They're 7,9 & 11 now, the 7 & 11 fight like cats & dogs but I think that's personalities not age or birth order.
I will say though - I resigned from work when pregnant with my second, I honestly don't know how we'd have managed those first few years of 3 tiny children without someone fully dedicating their time/energy to parenting. Not that my husband isn't also a super engaged & capable parent, because he is!! Just that it takes a lot of pressure off, not having to worry about childcare and taking time off if they're sick and trying to fit shopping/cooking etc around 2 full time jobs.
I just wrote an essay. Sorry. But I hope some of it helps!!

I had my third at 31 and our fourth at 37 Dh was 43. There's a 10 year gap between my first and last and 6 years between third and fourth child it's been lovely they all dote on him, he was a suprise but a very welcome one.

I was 35, DH was 34. Pregnancy and birth were straightforward, but DC3 was not an easy baby - the worst sleeper of the three by miles, and a very tricky toddler. He's a lovely teen though!

28

I was 35 and my husband was 39. When they were younger I wouldn't have said it changed the dynamic but as a they have gotten older (now 7, 10 and 12) I feel the someone is always left out, usually the youngest. Everyone else we know has 2 kids to when we meet up with friends someone usually ends up being left out.

As they get older and they have more emotional needs with friendships/school etc it's hard to spread your time and also difficult with clubs etc. it's also very expensive and holidays are so limited as it just seems life is set up for 2 adults and 2 kids.

I love them all obviously but often feel life would be much easier if I had stuck with 2 but maybe I would always have felt something what missing!

Sorry posted too soon. I was 28 and it was an unplanned pregnancy. I was sterilised soon afterwards.

We had the space and finances weren't an issue but it effected our future plans and it was generally more awkward with three. It was one of those things where we just had to get on with it.

We were both 35 when we had DC3, and 41 when we had DC4.

No difference between pregnancies, planned CS births, recovery time or breastfeeding.

It is a bit scary that we'll be 60+ when DC likely finishes education though.

I was 24 DH 25 with first
I was 26 with second DH 27

I'm 33 now and DH 34 kids are 7and 8

I wouldnt have had it any other way

And I just read your question properly... Sorry

Just had our third 5 weeks ago. I’m 29 and DH is 32. We had actually made the decision to stick at 2 after being on the fence but found out a couple of weeks later that I was pregnant. We now have 10yo and 3.5yo DDs and 5wo DS. He has of course rocked the boat because he’s a newborn. His sisters adore him and haven’t shown any jealousy yet (surprised by DD2 as she is a massive mummy’s girl).

In terms of pregnancies, his was very different from my first two. I had previously had low risk, easy pregnancies with only low iron to contend with. Two straightforward spontaneous births at 40+5 and 40+2. This time, I developed Gestational Diabetes and had to be induced at 38w. My induction turned into an EMCS under general anaesthetic as I was haemorrhaging and DS’s heart rate plummeted. They had to monitor him for signs of brain damage after he was born (luckily he passed this!). We were kept in for a few days as he was on antibiotics and there were concerns about his lack of bowel movements - they took him for X-rays and we have follow up appointments for this. He also had to be referred for prolonged jaundice. He’s a gorgeous little thing but it’s definitely not been an easy ride.

I would of course not change his presence in our lives but it’s not been easy and we’re only 5 weeks in. He completes our family after I didn’t feel done with 2. I definitely feel done now and his traumatic birth very much cemented that feeling for both DH and I.

32 when I had my first, 35 for the second and 42 when I had the last one. All planned, all very much wanted and my baby has fitted into the family perfectly. It's like she completed our family - pregnancy and birth all relatively straightforward but I appreciate we were very lucky to have things so easy!

I was 32, 33 (almost 34) and 37 with my 3. They’re 5.5years from first to last. Conception and pregnancies all straight forward. We’re 4 years into having 3 and apart from the covid/homeschooling nightmare year it’s been great. Extra work to make sure everyone is getting what they need emotionally and practically but totally worth it.

I was 24! Had three kids under 6 and was glad to have them close together. Third pregnancy was a doddle as was the labour compared to other two. My two boys are lovely to eachother and the youngest has ASD.