Advice please for wanabe no 4

[Henrietta]

got
dd1 4yrs 3rd degre tear on back
ds 2 1st degree tear on stool (labour in water)
ds2 10weeks 4th degree on all fours
WANTED no 4!!!!
but told have to have section next time but after bing stiched told muscle had not been afected so may not be necessary

is it too risky to have another "normal" birth or how do you cpoe with 2yr olds after c sections???

am seeing consultant and physio next wk so want to be armed with questions

had a c section for number 4 and dd was 18 months, dh took month off work and did everything as i couldn't especially as got an infection afterwards in the wound. I had to go to theatre to be stitched up after dc 3 due to 4th degree tear, but was told it would not mean i couldn't have a natural delivery for the next one - it was his size that meant i had a c section and dd having shoulder dystocia largly due to her size hence the tear.
lots of people have torn and then gone on to having a good birth with no tears.

Anybody else? vaginal birth after 3 bad tears (recovery good from all 3)

Bump probably mad to be even thinking about no 4 with history of 3 tears