Those who decided NOT to go for a 3rd...any regret?

[SoMuchIndecision]

I've seen so many posters wobble about whether or not to try for a 3rd. The advice always seems to be 2/3rds hell no (really hard, increased risk of SEN etc), 1/3rd yes it's tough but worth it. My circumstances are- approaching 40, 2 DC, always wanted 2 DC but can't stop thinking about another baby ever since younger DC turned 2. I'm telling myself to ignore it, blaming my hormones etc, but I can't stop thinking about how lovely it might be. I'm thinking I just need to wait this out but but...what if I regret it?

I have 3. Don't do it. Honestly, it's so much harder and more complicated than 2!! Love my youngest as much as the others but 3 is tough.

We were so sure we wanted to stick with two that DH had the snip when our youngest was 6 months. DC are now 7 and 5 and recently I have started feeling very broody when I see babies. But logically I know I don't actually want a third child - the idea of having to potty train for a THIRD time, listen to boring Biff, Chip, & Kipper books for a THIRD time, just fills me with utter dread 😂. The hormonal urge will pass.

I have occasional twinges of regret that my deliberate choice to leave having children to very late ruled out a third. But I absolutely don't regret the timing decision. So....!

No regrets, just wistful wonderings sometimes!

I have 2 and I always wanted 3. But we held at 2 because whilst my heart wanted 3, we live in the 3rd most expensive country in the world, and we have no option but to send kids to private school

We could have had 3 and sucked it up without much bother but we wanted to be able to have a good standard of living and plentiful experiences and vacations that we would otherwise had to have limited.

I also work FT in a senior role and DH has his own business so I felt we'd have spread ourselves thin with 3.

But the most fundamental thing for me was that once my youngest hit 3 years old, I never felt there was anyone missing...

I was literally coming on to post something like this so it’s been really interesting to read the replies. My head says stick at two but my heart wants a third so badly. My sister is currently pregnant with her third and I’m hoping the urge passes once I see her and her husband having to juggle three under four…. I am 35 and my mental cut off is 37 so we need to decide soon ish. I think realistically we will stick at two but I can’t throw away the baby stuff just yet.

I think the PP who said about how you know all your family members now hit the nail on the head, that post Christmas Day feeling. But at the same time I just feel like there is a member of our family missing.

I'm one of 6. I like having my siblings, as adults. But I would never never never do that to a child. I didn't realise what I had missed out on, as one of a big family, until I saw what DH (one sibling) and his parents have between them that I never did

I agree. Two parents are going to have more time, space and money to spend on two children. So much of life is geared to a family of 4 (cars, restaurant tables, hotel rooms, some sports etc) so children may well benefit from being part of a family of 4.

I always wanted 3 but we were going to stick to 2 due to ease and expense when I found I was pregnant with 3rd (contraceptive fail - real surprise!).

I do love having 3 at times and I have a lovely relationship with my third at the moment, but there's always someone to take to a club, 3 lots of shoes, uniform etc etc. holidays are generally way more expensive with 3, cars etc.

And of course time and money is diluted. I think I would have been just as happy with 2 but I guess I'd never know that.

Plus there's always someone who seems to be left out.

This excellent post exactly sums up my current feelings and thoughts around a 3rd child (have been deliberating about it for about 2yrs now and still can't make a decision!) I'm 37 so feel I need to soon but it's so hard as I sway from one feeling to another depending on the day! Are you any further along in your decision making?

I think you have to imagine you'll be a single parent one day and then think of how you only have two hands. Your eldest will always walk alone! Every single day they will have to wait for their siblings... It really isn't necessary.

Absolutely no regrets not going for the 3rd

Teens now we frequently say thank god we stopped at two. Ours are lovely but far more is expected of parents these days in terms of financial and emotional support for teens / young people. The thought of parenting a third teen through gcse/a level whilst deep in peri menopause makes me want to cry. Not to mention 3 sets of uni costs eek.

Zero regrets not having a third.
We aren't outnumbered and it's much easier to divide and conquer them between myself and dh.

@SoMuchIndecision Logic on every front definitely points to sticking with 2, but those pesky hormones just won't go away

That's the problem! It's hormones telling you to have another - quick! - before- it's- too -late .......

As my lovely mum used to say "if you're not sure,then the answer is always 'no' "

You may not like the answer, but it's your subconscious telling you the answer - and I don't think I've found that advice ever to be wrong

I was you - very very torn. We decided to go ahead and I got pregnant but unfortunately lost the baby nearly immediately - it was a whirlwind of emotion but relief was mixed in and we haven’t tried again yet because of that. I’m not sure we will and I might regret it later but I feel it needs to be a 100% for it type decision.

No, no regrets.

A neighbour had a surprise pregnancy and all we could think was tf it wasn't us.

Can feel stretched enough as is it. Very happy with our 2.

Zombie thread

I don't regret not having a 3rd. I am still perfectly happy with the life choices I made that meant I have two. But I do sometimes wonder what it pulls have been like to have more.