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Original poster

Is having 2 kids harder than you anticipated?

65 replies

ellecf21 · 14/02/2023 21:38

Not sure if we are 100% up for another, we will let our instinct decide! Our DD 7mo is amazing, and so far it's been pretty smooth sailing and it feels manageable to have one. There is a lot of familial and societal pressure to have another (it wouldn't be any time soon) and I just wondered how people really felt about going from 1-2?

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Toloveandtowork · 14/02/2023 21:41

In my case, I rember thinking that I had opened the gates to hell.

eighteenthirteen1 · 14/02/2023 21:42

Im hating having two (at the moment, it will pass).

motleymop · 14/02/2023 21:44

Toloveandtowork · 14/02/2023 21:41

In my case, I rember thinking that I had opened the gates to hell.

😂😂😂
Oh god, that did make me laugh!! But I know I'll be laughing on the other side of my face soon, with a mere three weeks to go until my second one arrives.

Original poster
ellecf21 · 14/02/2023 21:44

Toloveandtowork · 14/02/2023 21:41

In my case, I rember thinking that I had opened the gates to hell.

Crikey, noted. What is the age gap? Would that make a difference?

OP posts:
TheExistentialistCafé · 14/02/2023 21:46

I wasn't prepared for the bickering between siblings. Other than that, no, not really

LBOCS2 · 14/02/2023 21:47

One to two was much much easier than none to one, but I will caveat that by saying that I had a 3.5 year age gap between them. I'm 99% certain I would have not felt the same had my first been 2 when I had my second. Two year olds are very hard work. Like, lovely. But also very very hard work.

Simonjt · 14/02/2023 21:49

No, but we have a 6ish year age gap, this really helps as they’re in such different stages they won’t need to ‘compete’ for the same toys etc, if also meant my son was fairly independent before his sister came along, so morning routine etc was still relatively easy as we only had one baby to feed and dress as my son just needed reminders etc.

Aria2015 · 14/02/2023 21:50

I have a fairly decent gap of 5 years and didn't find it particularly tough. Oldest was independent for basic things like going to the toilet, feeding himself etc... And could help with simple things like fetching nappies and wipes once number 2 arrived. Oldest was at school during the day when I was on maternity leave so felt like the first time around, just having to juggle the one during the day. Downside to a bigger age gap has been that they have different interests but they do still play. I think when your sibling is your only choice, you make do!

FrodisCapering · 14/02/2023 21:50

18 mo this between mine. It's absolutely fine.

Toloveandtowork · 14/02/2023 21:50

The age gap was 4.5 years. I should have had just one. The signs were there that the relationship with my ex wouldn't last, and with the pressure of two kids, it didn't. I wasn't thinking straight.
It's still hell a lot of the time ten years later.
Might be different for you though.

WorriedMum13 · 14/02/2023 21:51

I have a 30 month age gap and wish we left it a few years. A baby and toddler at the same time is much harder than I imagined but I kept thinking how great the age gap would be years down the line.

nightfeedtime · 14/02/2023 21:51

There's 2 years 2 months between mine - youngest being 8 weeks old - and my god it's hard work.

It takes an age to get everyone ready/ fed up and out. I'm bf so lots of time spent doing that of course throughout the day. Quite a bit of sibling jealousy. Toddler tantrums in general. Getting up with a toddler in the morning when you've been up all night with baby and having no chance to "sleep when the baby sleeps" or even just put feet up with Netflix. I love having the two but I think a 3 year age gap would be easier because the older one can communicate/ understand much more.

TokyoSushi · 14/02/2023 21:52

It's fine (apart from the fighting 🙄) but any more than 2 looks a LOT!

roarfeckingroarr · 14/02/2023 21:52

So much easier than expected (so far).

TokyoSushi · 14/02/2023 21:52

22 months between kind but they're almost 10 & 12 now

TokyoSushi · 14/02/2023 21:52

*mine!

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 14/02/2023 21:53

1 to 2 was an absolute doddle.
it was 2 to 3 that nearly killed me off!

CinderellasBoot · 14/02/2023 21:53

It's as expected: Absolute chaos😆
But sooo worth it.

HerbalTeaAndCake · 14/02/2023 21:56

I adored having two, three years apart. It just felt like we were complete when DS2 arrived. We decided that (after my 2 CSecs) DH should have a vasectomy then. That took him about 5 years! I have loved watching how close they are to each other. Yes they argue sometimes. But the love is strong. I could have totally gone for a third tbh. Which is probably why DH finally got his VSec!

HerbalTeaAndCake · 14/02/2023 21:56

Toloveandtowork · 14/02/2023 21:41

In my case, I rember thinking that I had opened the gates to hell.

🤣🤣🤣

Cuppaand2biscuits · 14/02/2023 21:56

2.5 years between mine, one boy and one girl and even now, 10 years later they get on fantastically well. Mine have never fought and I really can't say adding one more was difficult.

Tamtam86 · 14/02/2023 21:59

I found 1-2 so hard!! But they are only 19 months apart, 2nd was born just before we went into lockdown, and I found 0-1 easy so I think I was expecting it to be easy again.

Saying that, I am now considering a third so it's totally worth it!

DrJump · 14/02/2023 21:59

Three kids is much harder than I expected but two kids was as hard as I thought it would be. I found one relatively easy.

ÉireannachÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ · 14/02/2023 22:01

Zero to one was hardest. One to two a breeze.

ChuckMater · 14/02/2023 22:03

I found 1 - 2 harder than 0 - 1 as the mum guilt just ate me up, but I'm 20 months in now, and it's bloody lovely