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Original poster

3rd baby gender

74 replies

Spinachandrice · 13/02/2023 12:52

I am trying to figure out if I want the gender or the child, if that makes sense.

Those of you that went for the third, was it because you were not satisfied with the gender of your first two kids? If the genders of your first two kids were different would you still want a third?

I am just trying to figure out what need pushes me to want another.

For reference we have a girl and a boy but I would always want two girls!

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Icecreamandapplepie · 13/02/2023 13:07

We had a third because we wanted a third. We had a boy and girl first also.

We felt totally done after that.

TTCm · 13/02/2023 22:33

@Spinachandrice can I ask, why do you want 2 girls? The reason I ask is because my DH and I always said we would have 2 children, but I always envisaged one would be a daughter. I’m due our second son soon and my mind has been consumed by the feeling of wanting a third - yes to try for a girl. I’m interested to know, from a parent who has one of each, what the desire is to have another girl as I’m trying to work through my emotions on whether this feeling will subside?!

does your DH want another DC? If our second was a DD, I don’t think the thought of another would even be in my mind to answer your question! 🙂

Himawarigirl · 14/02/2023 11:59

We had a girl and a boy but wanted a third child. Since we had one of each already we genuinely didn’t mind which we had. As it was, we now have a girl and two boys, which is a combination we love. And if I’d had to choose I think that’s what I’d have gone for. If we had two girls we’d probably have still gone for a third but, much as I love my boys, I’m not sure we’d have gone for number three if we already had two boys!

Himawarigirl · 14/02/2023 12:02

And just to add, I think going for a third in order to get a boy or a girl specifically is way too risky. It’s hard work and you have to want them pretty unequivocally as there’s obviously no guarantee you’ll get the sex you want.

Original poster
Spinachandrice · 14/02/2023 12:45

@TTCm It’s only because I have a sister (no other siblings) and I would like my daughter to have this relationship in her life. I bet having a brother must be nice too but you can’t discuss about colouring your hair or whether to wear this or that dress, or exchange clothes between you, or go for shopping or talk for hours about your pregnancies and other halves… it’s not the same!

Also, I feel that girls are more caring about their families when they grow up and the relationship mum-daughter is so special! While having sons means having to deal with daughters in law…

I would like two daughters for these and many more reasons but these are the obvious ones. Of course, sons are special in their own way and I love my boy to the moon and back!

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Spinachandrice · 14/02/2023 12:46

@Himawarigirl Interesting view and opposite in a way to how I am thinking!

Out of curiosity why do you prefer boys than girls?

And if your third was a girl would you go for a forth one?!

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/02/2023 12:47

Thats how I have two sets of friends, each with 3 girls- didnt work out well imo, they are run ragged.

Original poster
Spinachandrice · 14/02/2023 12:49

@OnlyFoolsnMothers Omg I would love 3 girls! That’s a dream to me and the best scenario of all!

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autumnboys · 14/02/2023 12:51

I had a third because we wanted a third. We already had two boys and the number of people who thought we were trying for a girl was unreal. I was more interested by the sex of the baby with the first two,third time round I really didn’t care. Never give it a thought these days (they are all teens).

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 14/02/2023 12:52

Spinachandrice · 14/02/2023 12:49

@OnlyFoolsnMothers Omg I would love 3 girls! That’s a dream to me and the best scenario of all!

Yep except their husbands want boys. Moral of the story have as many CHILDREN as you want to handle. 3 children is my idea of hell, the ease of 2, 1 parent each, no one left out, cheaper holidays, 1 car etc- all works for me.

TheFeistyFeminist · 14/02/2023 12:56

Don't have a third child on the basis that they might have the sort of sibling relationship you enjoy. They are going to be their own people. If they fight, squabble or simply ignore each other, that's hard to manage too.

Himawarigirl · 14/02/2023 12:59

As above, sibling relationships can play out in all sorts of ways, their relationship with you and each other won’t necessarily be as you imagine. And I don’t prefer boys, I just meant that if I’d absolutely had to choose I think it’s nice for my middle son to have an older sister but also a younger brother to run around with. I love the range of dynamics and relationships it offers. But that’s the same for three children whatever the mix you have. But we only had a third as we genuinely didn’t mind.

Masterofcats · 14/02/2023 13:01

2 boys then a girl. It's perfect in my opinion. The boys have a buddy for life. I get girly time
Sisters in my family historically don't get on that well so for us this set up works well. The idea of sisters being close friends made me giggle. My grandmother and great aunt were sworn enemies for life. My mother and aunt are also awful together would never catch those 2 discussing hair colours.

Himawarigirl · 14/02/2023 13:03

Oh, and to answer your other question. No way to a fourth one. As soon my third came out I knew we were done with a certainty that had been missing before.

2crossedout1 · 14/02/2023 13:04

We had a boy and a girl, then the 3rd was a boy. I genuinely had no preference before DC3 was born, but I'm very happy with my tribe and DD likes being the only girl!

genome · 14/02/2023 13:10

I have four, three girls and a boy. I'm sure many would look at our family and presume we kept having kids until we had a boy, but we wanted another child and we didn't have any preference for which sex. I think trying for a child when you have a strong preference for a particular sex is a recipe for disappointment and perhaps problems with your bonding and attachment should they be the none preferred sex.

TitoMojito · 14/02/2023 13:25

Spinachandrice · 14/02/2023 12:45

@TTCm It’s only because I have a sister (no other siblings) and I would like my daughter to have this relationship in her life. I bet having a brother must be nice too but you can’t discuss about colouring your hair or whether to wear this or that dress, or exchange clothes between you, or go for shopping or talk for hours about your pregnancies and other halves… it’s not the same!

Also, I feel that girls are more caring about their families when they grow up and the relationship mum-daughter is so special! While having sons means having to deal with daughters in law…

I would like two daughters for these and many more reasons but these are the obvious ones. Of course, sons are special in their own way and I love my boy to the moon and back!

Everything about this is messy imo.

You can't guarantee the sisters would get along. They might never have that relationship you're describing.

What's wrong with daughters in law?? Presumably your daughters would be someone's daughters in law someday... also for all you know you could have sons who are gay.

It just seems like a lot of presumptions about what life will look like when actually children are individual human beings and don’t fit a mould we carve for them in our imagination.

Theoldwoman · 14/02/2023 13:27

I always wanted 3 girls, and I got three girls.

If you have a girl first, then a boy, then statistically your next will be a boy.

RoseFl0wers · 14/02/2023 13:45

Spinachandrice · 14/02/2023 12:49

@OnlyFoolsnMothers Omg I would love 3 girls! That’s a dream to me and the best scenario of all!

I’m the eldest of three and the only girl. I don’t have girl cousins either. I never felt I missed out on having a sister. I’m close to my brothers. I have two female friends. Both are one of three sisters. They are not particularly close to their sisters despite being close in age.

Because of the fact you wish you had two or three girls, I don’t think you should try for another dc. You never envisioned having a son and I get the feeling you’d be disappointed in having a second son despite already having one of each sex.

2crossedout1 · 14/02/2023 13:49

@Theoldwoman If you have a girl first, then a boy, then statistically your next will be a boy.

What? Why?

doingitalllagain · 14/02/2023 13:53

Another thread championing baby girls

Boys aren't a consolation prize

MarshmallowsOnToast · 14/02/2023 15:12

Spinachandrice · 14/02/2023 12:49

@OnlyFoolsnMothers Omg I would love 3 girls! That’s a dream to me and the best scenario of all!

I'm sure your son would be thrilled to hear that!

Mammyloveswine · 14/02/2023 16:14

I have two sons, always wanted a girl. Toyed with having another but id end yo with twin boys I'm sure Grin.

I love my boys, I am extremely close to them and they to me.

I hate the shitty myth that sons are never as close as daughters to their mothers, it's mean and spiteful.

It's bloody luck and doesn't make mothers of daughters any better than mothers of sons, see also fathers of sons!

ourflagmeansdeath · 14/02/2023 16:16

I have 3 - boy, girl then girl. I do think it was lovely for my daughters to have each other and build their sisterly relationship but I don't think you should have a baby to get a specific gender. We had a 3rd because we wanted a 3rd. And your comment about how having 3 girls would be the best scenario is a bit...If you get a 2nd boy, you need to make sure you'd be happy and fine with that before trying again.

Meandfour · 14/02/2023 16:21

I had a 3rd because I wanted another baby. I already had a boy and a girl.