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Original poster

How do you afford more than one baby?

32 replies

Flowerybox · 09/01/2018 10:41

Hi! So me and my partner have been discussing the possibility of having a second baby. We currently have a 17mo DD. The only thing that is making us both panic is the cost. How do you afford two babies? DD is currently in nursery a few days a week and I now only work part time but if we were to have another I have no idea how this would work because I would still want DD to go to nursery so she can interact with children her age. How do you manage?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

PasstheStarmix · 09/01/2018 10:54

Watching with interest

Callamia · 09/01/2018 11:51

Wait until first child is on free hours at nursery. It makes a world of difference, and allows you a few years to save up again for mat leave.

There’s a three year age gap between my children, so I will be paying nursery fees for six years straight, but not two at the same time.

Battleax · 09/01/2018 11:54

Yes, put off TTCing until 9ninths before your DC1's free hours start. Then that voucher will subsidise her continuing PT place through your ML and beyond.

Battleax · 09/01/2018 11:54

9 MONTHS.^

ems137 · 09/01/2018 12:01

I'm currently a SAHP since our 3rd child who's now 2.4yrs because I didn't want the stress of working and childcare for 3 kids. We've since had our 4th (and final!) baby.

I'm not sure if this would work for you but our toddler doesn't go to nursery and like you, I still wanted her to get that kind of experience so I send her to a playgroup. It's 2 hours per day and I send her 3 days and it only costs me £18.

I've found it's all about taking control of costs. To us, having 4 children was the priority so we don't smoke, hardly ever drink, I meal plan and am careful what clothes we buy. I'm a good bargain hunter!! We still go abroad every year and have a 1 year old car but we don't have Sky or expensive phone contracts etc.

MelanieSmooter · 09/01/2018 12:05

Lower expectations, term time working with DC in school/funded childcare.

Princesspinkgirl · 13/01/2018 23:46

Im a stay at home parent as weve a 1 year old and a newborn due march the childcare is expensive so i wish we'd spaced them out

statetrooperstacey · 13/01/2018 23:57

I had a 5 year gap berween each of my last 3 and a yr ish mat leave with each. So only one in childcare at a time.
Worked well.

idontlikealdi · 14/01/2018 00:01

I had twins which shat all over my childcare plans.

You either wait to ttc 2 until 1 is in school or accept you’ll work basically for free before you get them to school.

MyDcAreMarvel · 14/01/2018 00:02

I have 7 dc and am a sahm. We live in a cheap part of the country, mortgage is £380 a year for a six bed. Holidays are in the UK approx £4 a year for four weeks in total.
We don't smoke , hardly drink use national trust membership/merlin for days out.
Cook from scratch, clothes often from friends , ebay or sales.

whatsittoyou · 14/01/2018 04:15

I'm a sahm with 3dc as none of mine went to nursery until they were 3 and it was free. They had plenty of opportunity to mix with other children before that at toddler groups, with y friends children as it allowed me to make new friends and be sociable too. That time at home is precious and it's lovely seeing them grow up together and bond.

Prusik · 14/01/2018 04:19

I'm planning on working evenings until the boys start school. I've squished them together so that there's only one academic year between them. That way it will minimise the number of years working evenings. To be fair though, I've been working evenings for a number of years anyway

zzzzz · 14/01/2018 04:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Littlepond · 14/01/2018 05:08

I was a stay at home parent until my youngest was 4 and then I got a job with term time hours. The pay is much worse than what I used to get pre kids, we manage on significantly less money that we had pre kids, but we make it work. I work hard to balance the books as it were, regularly checking my budget, we don't have many treats and luxuries, no foreign holidays. But we went into parenting with our eyes wide open and knew what we were getting into. We manage, we have a nice life, but we don't have much spare money.

I guess it's all about choice.

MsJuniper · 14/01/2018 08:06

In terms of timing, we started ttc #2 when ds was 18 months old as my calculations were 9 months pg + 9 months mat leave by which time DS would be able to attend nursery on free hours.

As it happens we are only now having #2 when ds is at school, so the calculations were irrelevant. Best laid plans etc.

Chienrouge · 14/01/2018 08:10

Like any of the ‘how do you afford x’ questions on here, the answer is probably that other people have a higher household income than you.
I’m currently a SAHM to 2 pre school DC, DH earns a high salary. DC1 does 15 free hours at nursery, we pay for DC2 to do 2 mornings a week.
DC1 starts school in September so I’m going back to work.

usedtogotomars · 14/01/2018 08:13

For the most part people can have bigger families if they incur no childcare costs, so a SAHP or family who help.

Battleax · 14/01/2018 08:15

Like any of the ‘how do you afford x’ questions on here, the answer is probably that other people have a higher household income than you.

I think people look around and can tell who is probably on a higher income.

What isn't always easy to spot is inheritances, past luck in the housing market, cash handouts from parents. That kind of thing.

That's what puzzles people. They compare themselves to people in similar jobs and then try to account for the differences.

Hesburger · 14/01/2018 08:18

We waited for a 3-4 age gap - couldn't afford child care for 2.

I'm the main earner in our family so don't have a choice with staying at home.

DC1 is very excited to be a big brother and is really involved.

Hesburger · 14/01/2018 08:18

*3-4 year age gap.

mnahmnah · 14/01/2018 08:18

We waited until the eldest was in school. Exactly 5 yrs between them. Sounds a big gap, but actually it’s worked brilliantly. Eldest was at school while I was on mat leave, leaving me special time with baby. Eldest is independent, so far easier than dealing with two in nappies, need naps, attention etc. But they’re very close, love each other to bits. Financially so much easier

Blankscreen · 14/01/2018 08:25

Most people on may leave don't send their kids to nursery. You can take them to toddler groups /see friends etc for interaction.

Once she's older look for a sessional.play group that's covered by the funding and therefore won't. Cost you.

I had a 3 year gap.

moomoogalicious · 14/01/2018 08:31

Dh stayed at home and i went back to work full time. Then we swapped and relocated to get a cheaper bigger house and i worked on saturdays and retrained.

We were skint for a while and had fewer holidays, nights out etc.

Middleoftheroad · 14/01/2018 08:38

I had no choice - we had twins.

We had to cut our cloth and my bosses let me do two longer days. We used a childminder than my planned work creche and it was far cheaper.

Middleoftheroad · 14/01/2018 08:39

We used a childminder instead of an expensive nursery. I worked just two, long days (to clarify)

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